Sunday, May 22, 2011

I just hope there are no fingerprints on the television when the trumpet sounds.

I don't mean to make light of the END OF THE WORLD or anything but I was just a tad bit glad that May 21, 2011 wasn't it because my house did not meet rapture standards.

I have always had company standards and vacation standards, but now all of this end of days talk has made me create rapture standards. 

I clean before we go on vacation so my relatives don't talk about me at the funeral.  Well, they can talk but I want it to be about my casseroles and not my toilet bowls. I make sure everything is dusted, the bathrooms are scoured, and the trash is taken out.  I have a fear that we will all die and my mother and mother-in-law will enter the house appalled at my poor cleaning abilities.

"I always suspected," they would say.

Company standards trump vacation standards.  In addition to the typical vacation standards of clean floors and uncluttered counters, company standards include pressed pillowcases and good smelling bath soaps.

Obviously, rapture standards trumps everything else.  I am not certain what I will add to rapture standards but I'm pretty sure I'll be going through our movie collection. Not that we have anything that one would call questionable but I know some people may want to pillage my Gone With The Wind collector's edition.

I'll be spending this week cleaning house. If those crazy folks decide to predict a new date, please give me a good, solid week.  I haven't done the baseboards in forever.

All of this rapture talk has made me ponder my faith, my spiritual readiness, and yes, my dust bunnies, giving new meaning to "Get Ready."

And, yes I will be grateful when Christ returns and takes me out of here, but is it a sin to hope that my house is clean at the same time?

On a serious note, are you ready?   


Nancy said...

I totally get the clean house before vacation thing. Even if I'm just going to be gone overnight, I have to make sure the toilets are cleaned and every single trash can has been emptied, the trash bagged up and taken out of the house.

And, yes, I'm ready!

Jenna said...

I just have to laugh because I have similar sentiments. I tend to stress more about cleanliness in hypothetical situations than when it might actually matter. For example, the bed needs to get made not because my mother-in-law is coming over, but because what if Better Homes and Gardens decides they want to photograph my house?? Better be ready!

Thanks for the post!

Roxanne said...

My soul, yes.

My house, no.

Ashlee said...

Yes, I'm ready! The house? When the trumpet sounds and I'm gone, I'm sure I could care less what my house looks like! LOL. And I hope my mother and my MIL go with me. :)

Susanne said...

Me, yes. My house, no. I'm lucky if I get the vacation ready mode at vacation time. Should the rapture come any time soon and my house isn't ready, I think at that point I won't care. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

mommalo said...

You don't know me but I came across your blog and I haven't been able to stop reading (or chuckling for that matter!!). Once I got to your comment about your relatives talking about your cleaning habits if you pass, I knew I had made an "internet friend". Darlin', you are hilarious!

Thanks for makin' my day!