Thursday, January 26, 2012

You gotta respect the roll.

So far, my week has included several trips to the grocery store, one or two trips to Target, a trip or two or three (ahem) to Starbucks, and a trip to the dentist.

Yeah, my week is a trip.

(Sorry.)

I had a regular dental check-up before Christmas.  The dentist and I mulled over my old fillings. They are slowly wearing out since they were all put in around the turn of the last century.  Okay, not really, but they were all done before Al Gore invented the Internet.  And yes, for you youngins out there, we did have modern dental care before Facebook or Google.

I know you are shocked and amazed.

We also managed to brush our teeth using toothbrushes that didn't spin.  It was EXHAUSTING.

Legend has it, that back in the day, dentists gave you a sucker after an appointment. I never experienced this because my family dentist was cheap and didn't even give you a free toothbrush that didn't spin.

However, my many trips to the bank on Saturday mornings with mama made up for it because the teller always gave me a sucker.  So, even though I had to change out of my Scooby Doo pajamas to get ready for our bank errand, I was happy. (Yes, we actually went to the bank to do our banking as opposed to doing everything online.  Free candy! See what you're missing?)

Yesterday I took Daughter to school and headed to my dentist appointment to have two of my fillings replaced.  The truth is, I dreaded it, but having them replaced now is better than biting into a walnut from a spoonful of Chunky Monkey and completely ruining a Ben and Jerry's moment.

I am proactive about my Ben and Jerry's moments.

When I arrived at the dentist office, I went to the ladies' room.  I also needed to brush my teeth since  I'd been sipping coffee in the car.  After I used the facilities, I stood in the mirror, applied some lipstick and decided I should turn around and check if my sweater was pulled down in the back.

My sweater looked fine, but there was another problem.

There in the mirror was a long piece of toilet paper stuck into the waistband of my jeans.  I looked like I had a tail made of Charmin Ultra Soft.

I quickly averted disaster and removed it.  Then I thanked the good Lord above that I had looked in the mirror. I could just imagine myself walking down the hall to the dentist chair with a tail of toilet paper gloriously trailing behind.

As soon as I finished brushing my teeth and thanking God for saving me from embarrassment, I headed to the waiting room. Before I could even get settled, they called me back.

I'll spare you the dental details. You will be happy to know my fillings were replaced without incident.  Other than the fact that I was numb for half the day and probably drooling without knowing it, I am one step closer to being able to eat Chunky Monkey worry free.

And, let's face it, drooling is still better than a Charmin tail.

4 comments:

Amy said...

Oh how I dreaded the dentist, and the sucker wouldn't have made it any better.

Glad everything turned out OK.

Susanne said...

Dentists back then knew how to have repeat customers giving out those suckers. ;v)

Glad the appointment went well tail wise and teeth wise.

Roxanne said...

My dentist gave me a free ring. . .the little expandable kind that is housed in the foam with the slits cut into it? He was also my first crush. I know--wacky, but I spent a LOT of time in the dentist chair due to an unfortunate teeth breaking incident when I was three. You made me laugh with the exhaustion that comes from using a non-spinning brush.

Carol said...

Too funny! Hey girl!!!! Long time no talk! HOpe you are doing well - other than the tail and the teeth thang. LOL. ;) Just happened to think about you and decided to hop on by. I don't have a blog roll on my website anymore and I miss have quick links to my friends.