Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Random Dozen Meme with Lid

Linda rocks. I am loving her Random Dozen Memes each week. She is THE LID.

So, here are this week's questions.

1. Tell me the absolute best way to watch a movie.

For me, it depends. If it is a cool special effects movie, it has to be in a great theatre. If it is a love story, I like to watch it on DVD on a rainy day curled up on the couch. If it is a comedy, it doesn't matter, as long as I can watch it with Hubs. We have the same sense of humor and laugh at obscure lines and scenes. In other words, he's weird like me.

2. Do you ever think about your own funeral? If so, do you have specific ideas about how you would like it to be?

Yes. I have written instructions for Hubs about flowers, songs, what to do, not to do, etc. I've also told him that I'll haunt him if he doesn't send thank you notes for the flowers and food. Not that I believe in any of that. I just like to bug him while I'm still alive.

3. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

I enjoy being a giver. Really, I do. I love to buy gifts and wrap them nicely at Christmas. I especially love trying to make a birthday special for someone.

4. Vacations: planned activities and schedules, or play it by ear?

Planned. For. Sure. I don't like surprises. They stress me out.

However, even though I like a plan, I don't want to have to stick to it. If something comes along that is better or if there isn't enough time in the vacation schedule to do something, I like to be flexible. Doing something on the agenda just for the sake of checking it off the list makes me nuts. (One reason I don't like lists.)

So, in the schedule/agenda area, our family is not Griswald. At least not in THAT area.

5. What is one often overlooked item in your home that needs to be cleaned regularly?

Only one???

I never clean the oven. Ever. There. I said it.

I clean the door and the racks when something drips but then I have the "oh, it will just burn off" mindset about the bottom of the oven.

6. Name a cause that means a lot to you.

I have a few.

Compassion International

Angel Tree (Prison Fellowship)

Southern Baptist Disaster Relief

The Red Cross

I've seen the last two work together providing help after a hurricane. It was amazing. Hat tip to the disaster teams of the United Methodist Church as well.

7. Do you eat a regular old peanut butter jelly sandwich, or do you customize it? And by the way, jelly or no jelly?

The peanut butter must be Peter Pan and the jelly must be strawberry preserves which isn't really jelly, I suppose. I have to mix my peanut butter and jelly in a bowl first. I mix in a little extra, then put it on the bread (preferably Bunny bread!) I eat the little extra off the spoon, then remove the crust from the sandwich. I've eaten it this way since I was a kid. Just ask my mama.

I'm not at all picky.

8. If we were having a conversation in person, how would I know if you were nervous?

My neck turns red. But it also turns red when I've had caffeine or for no reason at all, so really I could bluff and you'd never know.

9. Do you have an elaborate bedtime routine, or just the basics of toothbrushing and jammies?

Not really. Besides the usual, I do wash my face with Noxema. I love the smell of Noxema.

10. Have you ever regretted something you wrote on your blog?

Yes. I've shared some political views mixed with sarcasm and they were taken out of context. This is what happens with the written word.

11. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a famous person or celebrity? Did you agree?

When I was in nursing school, we were doing our psych clinicals and one of the psych techs said I looked like someone on Matlock. He couldn't remember her name. It turned out to be Linda Purl. Every clinical after that he called me "Matlock" and all my nursing student friends thought it was a riot. They started calling me Matlock, too and the name stuck.

During a completely different clinical on a surgical floor, a patient told me the same thing. (That I looked like Linda Purl, not Matlock.) I think it was the hair and my choice of make-up at the time. I took it as a compliment.

That was years ago. Now I look more like Minnie Pearl.

12. If you were going to dedicate a song to a loved one or friend, what would the song be and to whom would it be dedicated?

I've always wanted to dedicate the song "You're So Vain" to someone because the irony and humor would be classic.

I bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?

Pure. Gold.


See The Lid for more great answers and wish her well as "Catcher."

Monday, September 28, 2009


It feels like a sweet forever since I have written a real post. Okay, I've never really written a real post, unless you count all the times I rant about Maggie or quote Seinfeld.

Which would be a lot.

We are almost back into a routine from our trip. Since returning, I have discovered a few things which perplex me. (I love new vocabulary words.)

Who comes in my house and makes it all dirty again while I am gone?

I know that I cleaned it before I left because leaving it messy would cause me a great deal of anxiety, with the fear of dying and all. (The fear is not in the death itself but in people walking in my house and finding it dirty and talking about me and then I'd be flipping in the grave. It's all perfectly rational.)


We lock the doors and turn on all the outside lights to prevent intruders, but somehow they get in and make everything very dusty and, I suwannee, they even mess up the bathroom!

After we unpack I clean the whole house all over again.


Then there's that stuff growing in the refrigerator...

One thing I do love about coming home is looking through the mail. I immediately sort it into piles- bills, catalogs, junk, personal stuff. I like to make a cup of coffee and look through the stack of catalogs all at once. It's the only time I actually look forward to them.

Yep. There's nothing like the feeling of a good Pottery Barn catalog in one hand and a cup of Starbucks (freshly ground at home) in the other.

For kicks, we call up Customer Service and give them the product numbers from Williams-Sonoma.


Have a good week. Don't go getting any ideas.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Okay, so now I really mean it.

Just when you're back, you're gone again.

Our computers- both of them- were very ill this week. The desktop is still coughing and wheezing, but the laptop is much better. Hubs had to save and reload everything which, apparently takes a lot of time.

I've been without the Internet for days and it was the first time I ever felt that Al Gore and I could be friends. (I'm over it.)

So, hopefully now I'm really back. Full of boring and strange details about my life.

And sarcasm, let's not forget the sarcasm.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

This is the sound of me blowing dust off the laptop.

The family is back together. Maggie arrived home from the kennel in OtherTown yesterday.

Again, the kennel people said she was "sweet."

I really think I should have a talk with them and find out their secret. We could possibly put our heads together and launch a business selling whatever it is they offer that makes my cat sweet. At the very least, we could make a cool infomercial.

Last night was our first normal night at home. Daughter was off reading some classic piece of literature while Hubs and I were watching Seinfeld on DVD. We like to keep the family balanced. Too much literature and we could turn into the Cosby family except, you know, that we aren't lawyers or doctors.

So we were mixing in a little Roseanne when one of our favorite Seinfeld episodes came on (okay, they're all my favorite.)

It was the one with the guy with the glasses from Malaysia which, for those of you totally unfamiliar with the show, means nothing. For the other two of you, you are going, "YEAH, I KNOW THAT ONE!"

There is a line where Elaine mentions that they had a break-up over the Jujy fruits and that is what launched a major discussion.

"Wait a second," Hubs said, "that's not the same guy."

"Yeah, it is," I said.

"No, it's not. He was bald in the hospital."

"No, he wasn't. He just looks different because of the glasses. Find the episode and play it."

"Wanta bet?"

"Yeah, if I win you have to scoop the litter box for a week."


"What do you want if you win?" I asked.

"I don't know. You already do everything I need you to do," Hubs answered.

At this point I could have gotten all warm and fuzzy and thankful for a kind comment but that would distract me from the matter at hand which is that I was totally right about the Seinfeld episode.

So Hubs got up from the sofa, walked over to the entertainment center, and then it dawned on him.

"OHHHH! That IS the same guy. I was thinking of the one with the Junior Mint!"

"Oh, yeah. That's a likely story. You got your candy mixed up and not your boyfriends?"

"Yeah, the bet's off."

"But that's the bet."

"No, I changed my mind. I don't want to do the levels."

If you are still reading this lame post and you are lost, don't be alarmed. Most of society does not understand us. But if you totally got that last line, you know it was from -yet another- Seinfeld episode.

As you can tell, life has returned to the completely mundane, boring strangeness we call normal.

In other words...

I'm back.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A break while on a break

Who could imagine that a quick vacation could get busy?

Just checking in to say I'm on a break until I really don't know when.

I love being aloof.

See you...soon??

My daddy would say "see you in the funny papers" but I read most of the News online.


Monday, September 14, 2009

Then again, monogramming would be a lot easier.

We were out shopping for shoes today.

As my daughter tried on a pair of tennis shoes, she said with a giggle, "Daddy said you almost named me Reebok."

"Reebok, huh?" I said, shaking my head.

"Yep, Reebok."

"Honey, that's why the mama signs the birth certificate," I answered, as we put her brand new shoes in their box and made our way to the register.

It's a good thing she is slowly "getting" our family's sense of humor or she could be scarred for life.

Other parents are saving for college. I'm saving for therapy.

Friday, September 11, 2009


We were only up a few minutes this morning when my daughter turned to me and said, "America was in great tragedy today."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and said,"You remember what day this is?"

She nodded.

"That's good. We need to remember... always remember."

She was just a baby when our nation was attacked on September 11, 2001. She has no real memory, only the memory of what her parents have told her and what a few teachers have shared.

I was browsing the paper of a local town this week. The paper featured an article on 9-11 memorial services. One service chose to focus on the attacks and remember the lives which were lost. Another service (offered at a church) chose to focus only on the first responders who helped after the attacks and honor their work.

Now we can shop for 9-11 memorial services?

I took a deep breath and kept reading.

The article continued with a further explanation from the "first responder only" service. Their reason for focusing on the first responders was to lessen the emphasis on the tragic events because people "do not want to be reminded of that year after year."

It was at that point that I started talking back (okay, screaming) at the paper. I wanted to take that person and shake some sense into them. I wanted to call that church and ask if they had been misrepresented in the paper. A service can do both- honor the hero and remember the fallen.

Where I come from, churches stand up in silence on Memorial Sunday and host potluck dinners for soldiers and heroes.

Of course, where I come from, the men put guns on the backs of their trucks.

Then I took another deep breath and quit screaming at the paper.

And decided to blog.

First, that person from the paper is right. I don't want to be reminded of "that" year after year. I don't want to be reminded that people died that day. I don't want to be reminded that someone out there hated me and my family enough to crash planes into buildings. I don't want to be reminded that a group of heroes stopped a plane from possibly crashing into The White House by sacrificing their own lives and those around them.

It doesn't really matter what I want. It happened.

Today I am reminded of all of them.

The ones who died in the attacks, all three thousand of them. And the families they left behind.

The firefighters and EMT workers and other first responders who died trying to save them.

And the thousands of soldiers who have died protecting us and keeping "that" from happening again.

It is for them that I want to be reminded. For them, I want to keep their stories and honor alive. For them, I keep telling my child and one day my grandchild of what happened on September 11, 2001.

For them.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

The Lid's Random Dozen 9.9.09

1. What is something that you have changed your mind about either recently or over a number of years?

It is VERY difficult to change my mind. Ask Hubs.

Overall, I am more cynical about things. Not that it's a good thing. I can't really think of anything specifically.

2. Choose either subject, but does your a) church b) job feel more like a dental chair experience or an easy chair (recliner) experience?

a) Right now church is like a dental chair and I am still looking for a good dentist. It is really tough when you have had the best dentist on the planet with lots of great hygienists and cool toothbrushes.

Literal interpretation- We are still not sure about a church home in SmallTown. It's painful.

3. Kisses or hugs? I actually typed "huts," which might have been a more interesting question.

From Hubs- Kisses :>)

4. What do you think is the biggest threat to families today?

Tolerance and Political Correctness.
I know these are two things, but they go hand in hand. Both have crept into everyday life and into the church and are creating gray lines or no lines where there were strong lines before. Both have tainted the Truth in so many ways and many times we are not even aware.

5. A day after you grocery shop, you open a perishable item that is horribly spoiled. Do you take your receipt back to the store to be reimbursed or just throw it away and forget about it?

It depends on where I bought it and how much it cost. If it costs me more gas money to return it, I don't do so or I will call and let the store know about it. It also depends on what it is. If I think my actions may prevent someone else from getting sick, I will definitely return it to the store or call and speak to a manager.

6. What personality trait (feel free to address good or bad or both) do you notice yourself adopting from your parents?

Saving money, which is not really a personality trait, but a result of one.

Saving for a rainy day may not be fun when it's sunny but it sure feels good to be standing there with the umbrella when everyone else is soaking wet.

7. How many slices of bread do you leave in the bottom of the bag when you throw it away? Two? Three? Just the heel? None? (I really want to know if you eat the heel.)

The heel. I always leave the heel. YUCK.

8. What mispronunciation or usage error really irritates you?

Misuse of "The other person and I" as in "Lid came up with this delightful meme for you and I."

Should be "you and me." You don't always say "the other person and I" unless you are the subject.

Doing so makes it sound like you are trying to be proper and that makes me nuts, too. (Just be you- grammatically correct or incorrect.)

It also bugs me when my blog's spell check won't work in the middle of a grammar post.

9. In honor of the uniqueness of today's date, what does the numeral 9 mean to you? (Any special life moments attached to the 9th? Are you the 9th kid in your family? Can you count by 9s really fast? etc.)

All I can think of is "partying like it is 1999." Shows my age.

10. Does the general color palette in your closet match the colors you chose to decorate your home with?

Thank goodness, no or we'd look like we lived in the morgue. A lot of things in my closet are black. I like color but I tend to go "safe" and buy a lot of basic neutrals. There are splashes of blue, red and pink.

11. When you're hanging out with friends in the kitchen, do you automatically ask to help, or do you sit there and chat until the host asks if you'd like to help? I'm not implying that the 2nd choice stems from rudeness or laziness, just not a first-response like it is for some people.

I usually offer once and let it go. It also depends on how well I know the person. For some, I already know how and when they like help.

I am glad to help out, but I don't want to push myself on someone. Some people love a lot of hands in the kitchen.

I don't really like help in the kitchen so I respect it when someone declines my help. I work better in my own kitchen if the person hangs out with me and chats. I get distracted with too many helpers.

12. Let's end on a pleasant note: What do you enjoy about September the most?

It usually means cooler weather is in the air but everything isn't dull and dead yet (like my wardrobe.)

See The Lid for more dozens. She is always doing great things for you and me. ;>)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

What Goes Around

It was an afternoon flight.

Hubs made the reservations. He knows me; I'm not a morning person.

He also knew that I would have to drive several hours to OtherTown, drop off our delightful old lady in a fur coat at the kennel, then drive to the airport. A later flight would give me plenty of time to hit the snooze button several times, trudge around in my slippers, wake up to coffee, load the car, drive, unload Maggie, and reach the airport in time to have a lengthy conversation with the TSA agent at security.

I woke up early actually. Maggie plopped on me and prodded my hand with furry paws, careful to not steal my breath. A dead owner can't feed you. I rolled over, pffed the cat hair from my lips and waited for the alarm.

It went off exactly at the time I set it. Drat.

Several cups of coffee and a hot shower later, I finally kicked into high (okay, low) gear. Bags were ready. Garbage had been taken out. Daughter was ready and soothing Maggie in her carrier. But we were still running at least fifteen minutes late.

No problem. I can shave that off between speed traps.

We all loaded in the Honda, I turned the key, then looked at the gas gauge.

By my calculations, we would run out of gas before we reached OtherTown, right between speed traps. As we headed out of town, I pulled into the nearest gas station. Every pump was occupied. I eyed a car and pulled behind. (Trucks take longer to fill their tanks.)

There she was. A tiny, elderly driver in dark shades. Standing at the pump pushing buttons.

You've got to be kidding me.

I sat there for a few moments and watched as she swiped her card, swiped it again, pushed buttons (all the wrong ones) and nothing happened. I could feel the irritation and impatience flair up in my chest.

I'll never make it to the airport.

I looked around for an open gas pump. None.

Then I thought to myself, "I can sit her and stew or I can get out and help her."

So I put on the brakes and got out of my car.

"Do you need some help?"

"Yes, these things are different everywhere you go."

I walked her though the steps and questions- press payment key, swipe card, enter your zip code. The two of us managed to get the pump working. She began to fill her car's tank. Within minutes she could be on her way.

Another pump opened up, I hopped back in my Honda, drove around and got enough gas to get us to our destination.

I looked at the time with a sigh.

It will work out.

Many speed traps and a Diet Coke later we arrived at the kennel, said our good-byes to Maggie, and made it to the airport with plenty of time to make it to the gate.

Except there was no parking. Not in the same time zone, anyway.

I drove and drove searching and finally found a space on the roof of the parking garage. After driving several hours, I now had to drag several suitcases for what seemed a million miles to the terminal.

I'm tired, Lord.

I got out, exhausted, and turned to walk to the back of the car to unload our luggage.

"Would you like a ride to the terminal?" he said.

There stood the driver of the airport shuttle who had seen me drive onto the roof searching for a parking space and followed me.

"Oh, bless you, " I said.

He loaded our luggage into the van and we climbed in. I sat in the squeaky vinyl seat with my carry-on in my lap. As he pulled up to the terminal I looked back at the vast span of parking lot between us and my Honda, thankful that I didn't have to make the trek.

We hopped out of the van as the driver unloaded our luggage with a smile.

"I was so tired. You were my angel today. Thank you," I said (while handing him a tip.)

He smiled back and wished us a nice trip.

It will all work out.

We rolled our luggage into the terminal and checked in for our flight. As it turns out, we were on time, without dodging speed traps. Although, I didn't strike up a lengthy conversation with the TSA agent at security.

Maybe next time.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Going Down Rabbit Trails

Here's an update of sorts, in completely random order with no literary meaning or entertainment value whatsoever.

I strive for excellence.

SO, Hubs asked me last night, "Are you going to take Maggie to the new kennel?"


"Why not?"

"Because I still have not checked it out and I have too many things to do before we leave, plus Maggie needs her geriatric check-up and I'm sure she is perfectly fine, but what if she's not and I won't know that unless she visits a kennel with a Vet on site, which is what the old one is in OtherTown, so I'll keep things as they are, let them check her and if she is fine and just old, she can stay at the new kennel with the black mailbox next time."

If I had known in elementary school that I could write a run-on sentence one day and put it on the internet, I would have squealed right there in my 1970's desk and then be sent to the office for interrupting my government indoctrination.

But then I would have had no idea what an internet was.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Back to Maggie.

She pops in places when she gets up from her naps. It doesn't seem to bother her but I often wonder if she could use a good dose of Ben-gay, what with all the rheumatism and all. Then again, the ointment would make a terrible mess in her fur.

In unrelated news, the rabbit is back.

I think it could be the same rabbit. How would you know?

Maggie noticed him right away and ran to her room to get her holster. She sat at the backdoor and glared while the rabbit texted his Libertarian friends across the field...

"Furry GOP Nemesis at the door again all puffed up... bet it isn't loaded."

"Big Brother Type in torn yoga pants inside house taking photos and entering information in her computer."

"The State of The Union is in worse shape than I thought. Bortz was right."

Have a good weekend.

Look out for clever cottontails.


Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Linda's Random Dozen

This is Linda's Random Dozen as opposed to The Dirty Dozen who really didn't eat doughnuts like the ones seen above.

Thanks, Lid!!

1. When you go to Wowmart, what one thing do you get every single time, besides a funky-wheeled squeaking cart full of frustration?

Diet Coke, if it is in stock. For some reason, it is hard to find 6-pack 16. oz bottles of Diet Coke in Smalltown. I get it when I can. (Sadly, I've just revealed my addiction.)

2. What is something that people are currently "into" that you just don't get or appreciate?

Facebook and MySpace. Of course, my friends on Facebook don't get why I blog.

3. What is something that really hoists your sail that other people might feel "ho-hum" about?

Hmmm... I get really excited about elections. This makes me more of a nerd than anything.

4. Favorite song to sing in the shower or car?

Aretha Franklin tunes. The Queen and I go way back. I also play her classic tunes when I am in a terrible mood. Hubs knows this, so when he walks in from work and I'm playing This Is This House That Jack Built he knows that I WAS in a bad mood and that I am currently in a good one. Lucky for him, he also doesn't ask any questions.

5. A really great salad must have this ingredient:

Good dressing. The rest doesn't really matter.

6. Advice in a nutshell to new bloggers (one or two sentences):

Decide ahead of time how much you want "out there." Stick to those guidelines.

Don't get too hung up on how many comments you receive.

7. What was the alternate name that your parents almost named you? Do you wish they had chosen it instead of the one they gave you?



8. What in your life are you waiting for?

To figure out where I "fit" in the writing world.

9. You get a package in the mail. What is it, and who is it from?

A surprise misc. package from my friend T. We used to call each other our "doorstep friend." Now we live across the country from each other. This reminds me, I have a package I need to mail to her.

10. Today--what song represents you?

Legacy by Nicole Nordeman. NOT that I am one, but that I strive to be something and leave something for this world, especially my family.

11. What is one thing that blogging has taught you about yourself?

I am more private than I thought.

I.E. No Facebook

12. How are you going to (or how did you) choose the clothes you're wearing today? What do they say about you in general or specifically how you're feeling today?

I'll end up getting dressed several times. Once for around the house duties and again to take my daughter to horseback riding. I'll change again when I return from hb riding because I often come home smelling like a barn.

So, that's actually three outfits in one day. You'd think I was in high school.

I guess it says I'm too lazy to think ahead for what to wear for an errand later and that I don't like to smell like livestock.

See The Lid for more fun bloggers!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

You can't get there from here.

Our family is planning a little trip.

Forgive me if I spare you the details like dates and times and such. Who knows who could be reading this blog and may use the information to rob us. And, while Hubs would love to see my Longaberger baskets go away quietly in the night, I just can't part with all of his rusty tools in the garage.

Of course, with any trip plan comes the arduous task of getting a kennel for Maggie. The last kennel she stayed at must have done something right. The lady said she was "sweet." Either they have some kind of kitty kat kennel powers or the kennel tech is as crazy as Maggie. The down side is that this particular kennel is in another town.

Yes, I have to take Maggie out of town in order to leave her so that I can go out of town.

The kennels here in Smalltown walk a fine line from the pound, so many of us have had to make other arrangements. Until...

A nice couple just opened a new kennel that is getting rave reviews.

When it first opened, it was so brand-spankin'-new and didn't even have a sign out front. It was out in the country, so it was very difficult to find. The kennel is behind the owners' home, so the location is very non-descriptive.

When asked its location, one happy customer said,"Just call ahead and ask the owner to stand in the yard and wave."

I know that's how I find Target.

The kennel has been open a few months and they still do not have a sign. So between word of mouth and waving, new customers are able to find it.

Well, Nancy recently took her cat to the fab kennel and her cat returned happy. This is a sign of a caring, kind facility. Y'all don't know her cat. She is very temperamental.

Yesterday I called and asked Nancy for directions.

Not that I wouldn't love to call ahead and ask the owner to stand in the yard and wave.

Nancy began to give me general directions, but out in the country, you really need specific directions or, you know, a SIGN. Without trees or stores or running water (kidding) there really are very few landmarks unless you count the cars up on blocks or the many chili pepper roasting stands.

So Nancy said she would just send me a picture. I'm not sure what impressed me more, the fact that she had the picture or that she had the forethought to take it in order to give directions to her friends.

I opened my inbox and found a photo of a classic ranch style home, set off from the road and another picture of a black mail box. I was all excited because, hello, it's like a little clue!

I would share the photos with you here but I never know who may be reading this blog and I know the kennel owners like their stuff. And the cats and dogs out back.

Plus, if you look too closely at the photo, you may be able to see the owner. She's the one in the yard waving.