Thursday Thirteen: Reasons why I haven't had a real post in a long, long time.

1. My family is smack dab in the middle of a transition phase which has forced me to grab hold of my faith and hang on.

2. To put things in perspective, we are only moving. None of us are sick or dealing with a critical illness.

3. But for me, it is still a move- one that I wasn't expecting.

4. Hubs has been out of town taking care of business. I am always a little off when he is gone. (Okay, I am little off when he is home.)

5. When Hubs goes away, he will always come back with some great blog fodder. Like the fact that a couple sat their very elderly mother right next to him on the airplane and the very elderly mother could not figure out how to work the seat belt.

6. One must also remember that Hubs does not talk to people. If I were on the plane, the very elderly mother would have asked me if I was voting for Hillary and I would have helped her with her seat belt. And her free samples of pretzels.

7. Besides the fact that my brain is trying to get used to the idea that my family will pack up and move soon, it has also been preparing for a Girl Scout overnight field trip.

8. Would someone please sign my permission slip? I may need to be given medication.

9. I had my hair highlighted and it was too blonde, so I went back today to get some lowlights put in. The funny thing is that my hairdresser was also getting highlights. She colored her own hair and didn't like it, so one of her hairdresser friends was putting in highlights to fix it. She rinsed out my highlights while she still had foils in and was wearing a cape.

Life Lesson- Even the pro's mess up their own hair on a whim and have to get someone else to fix their coloring mishaps. I feel better now about the time I colored my hair a deep auburn in college and refused to go to class. My professor did not have any sympathy for me.

10. I am still without a dress for the wedding. I have learned that in order to have a dress, you have to actually go to the store and try them on.

Weird.

11. This has nothing to do with anything, but my Starbucks lady, Miriam noticed that I ordered a tall instead of a grande the other day.

12. I volunteered in the school library today. YES, THE LIBRARY! But it was a school library. School libraries do not make me twitch.

Anyway, a very sweet and funny older lady volunteers there. She had me in stitches. IN STITCHES. She has volunteered in the library all year. Today was my first day and I realize I have been missing out. She totally needs her own blog.

13. Did I mention that I am going on a field trip with a lot of giggly girls? Overnight? I seriously need to pack...

WFMW: Teacher's Gifts

The end of the school year is drawing near and if you give an end-of-year gift, you know it's a challenge to come up with an original and personal gift.

Bath sets- Done

Cookie mix- Done

Teacher coffee mug- Done

So, what's a mom to do?

Several years ago, I gave this gift to my daughter's preschool teachers and they loved it. We lived close to the beach. I purchased an inexpensive, colorful beach bag and filled it with a beach towel and sunscreen.

The idea is to think of something your child's teacher will enjoy this summer.

Does she like to garden? Fill an inexpensive tote bag with garden gloves and tools. (The Dollar Tree is your best friend!)

Will your teacher be traveling over the summer? How about a new atlas and some car games? (Or a gas card!)

If your child's teacher has small kids, think of activities they could do as a family. How about a fun basket with bubbles, a kite, or a movie rental card?

You can put together a nice gift without breaking the bank. Visit the Dollar Store for great bargains.

Include a note with the gift wishing her the very best summer. She deserves the time off!

Any other ideas? Share them in the comments. I'd love to read them!

Visit Shannon for more great tips!

BooMama saves the day yet again.

I'm dog tired.



TARRED.



We just returned from Mama's and I did what most of you would do when you just got home from a trip (after a visit to the facilities, of course.)



I checked my favorite blogs.



BooMama listed Twenty Things She Will Never Do and because I am a weary traveler with nary a brain cell left under this Cheetos and Diet Coke Induced stupor, I am thankful for any ideas for a post.



So, here goes.



Twenty Things I Will Never Do



1. Stop at that Burger King on the Interstate, the one where the young teen was making burgers with his bare hands and I could not stomach the thought of him grabbing hold of my shredded lettuce moments before I ate my Whopper.

(We left before ordering.)

However, the facilities were quite clean.

2. Watch Seinfeld without laughing.

3. Become a librarian.

4. Stop wearing lipstick of some hue. Neutral, natural, whatever. I need my lipstick.

5. Go on The Alaska Experiment. (sorry Hubs)

6. Go on any experiment or other torture adventure series which would require me to partake in something called "roughing it."

7. Stop eating Chunky Monkey.

8. Start eating raw veggies as a delicious snack.

9. Forget the name of the nurse who helped me deliver my child.

Karen. Her name was Karen.

10. Start saying stuff like "when we were pregnant."

We weren't pregnant. I am the only one with stretch marks.

11. Go to a Neil Diamond concert.

12. Quit watching my child sleep.

13. Say "no, thank you" to a piece of chocolate cake.

14. Buy a bikini. (This could be related to #13.)

15. Go bungee jumping.

16. Choose rice over mashed potatoes.

17. Sign up for a Math Seminar.

18. Turn down an opportunity to sop a good biscuit. In the right company, of course.

19. Stop cleaning with bleach. (I've tried, Mrs. Greenie. Really. I start to tremble without the clean, lung-burning smell of Clorox. It kills germs and respiratory tissue.)

20. Buy a label maker.

In other words, I like food and clean facilities. As long as neither of them require me to do math.

Bloggy break and more stuff...

I must have gone and lost my mind because daughter and I are taking a road trip to Mama's this weekend, the busiest traffic weekend of the year.

Hello. What was I thinking?

So, I'll be on a blog break for a few days, if I can last that long. If I start to twitch, I may just have to go to the library and use their computer because Mama is still not online.

Believe me when I tell you that I would have to be suffering delirium tremors from blog withdrawal to be at the library.

I do not heart the library.

One of these days I'll explain my irrational distain, but not today. I have to pack.

If you are traveling this weekend, be careful out there on the road.

And honk if you read BooMama. ;>)

Sincere sympathy...

Please pray for the Chapman family as they have lost one of their daughters to a tragic accident. Pray also for their son who was involved.

The Chapmans have been amazing champions for adoption and for the message of Jesus Christ.

Our hearts go out to them.

You can visit the site of Steven Curtis Chapman to express your condolences.

Weather Alert

When you write a post encouraging others to Remember Rainbows, inevitably it starts to rain at your house.



More later...

Writing today at the Cafe

"What is this world coming to?" was something my mother used to say. Now I hear myself saying it and I wonder how my own child will grow up in a world full of pain and evil. It all seems to just get worse.

Do you ever feel the same way?

Feeling a little discouraged as a parent?

Come on over to The Internet Cafe and visit with me today for a chat about today's world and God's Promises.

Thank you notes that do not require postage

I wrote a few weeks ago about the changes that have taken place for our Sunday School class.

Good changes. Great changes. Godly changes.

If you've read my blog long enough, you know I don't use the word "God" lightly. Besides, it's not just a word; it's a Name. A Holy Name.

So when I say Godly changes, I mean it. I believe it.

Through some wonderful volunteers, we have started a new system for my class. There are pre-K and Kindergarten kids in this group and if you have ever taught these ages, you know they have very different learning styles and very different attention spans. When there are just a few of them together, you can adjust your teaching method.

But when there are sometimes 18 of them together, all you can adjust is your medication.

Oddly enough, no matter what learning style or attention span they have, they all have a few things in common.

They love snack.

They love hearing about Jesus.

Snack was never an issue. My assistant and I come from the old Southern Baptist School which teaches "Thou shalt never run out of food."

That rule is right up there with "Thou shalt feed people when they are celebrating, mourning, recovering, or just breathing."

So, snack was never a challenge for us.

Telling them about Jesus in an effective way was a challenge. When you are in a small room with a dozen or so kids and several of them decide that the button to turn on their listening ears is broken, you end up talking over them and the other children get nothing out of the lesson.

Now, let me stop the bus here. The Word of God does not return void. The issue was that I don't think many of them could hear the Word of God with all of the talking and the yelling and the whining.

Okay, I didn't always whine...

This morning, I was looking forward to the lessons. Because of a new rotation system, the kids all have snack together, then they split off. The younger pre-K kids go to music and worship time and the Kindergartners stay in the room for the lesson. Then, we switch. The kids love it and it is so great to be able to talk with them in small groups and teach them on their level.

Our lesson today was on Elisha and the woman who welcomed him in her home. Our focus was supposed to be on caring for other believers, which we did discuss. We shared how we could care for others. The kids were eager to give suggestions on how to be kind.

Then, God led me down a trail...

I told the kids that we are to do for others just because. We aren't supposed to expect anything in return- not even a thank you, although that would be nice. Many times the person will never say thank you. Many times we think no one notices.

God notices. He sees. He will reward us in heaven, but that isn't all. He will also reward us here on earth. God always notices when we are doing the right thing and He will show us in some way- through a nice surprise or maybe the kindness of others.

Of course, they wanted to know "how." I love questions. It shows me they are paying attention.

There are so many times in my life when I have seen this happen. I shared one of the stories with the class. And now I'll share it with you...

A few months ago my daughter and I were at the dollar store, waiting in line at the register. The man ahead of me paid for his purchase, then started to walk away. As he did, he dropped a twenty dollar bill.

I quickly picked it up and said,"Excuse me, sir. You dropped this."

He took the money and said,"Oh, you're an honest person. I would have kept it."

He walked away and the cashier turned to me and commented,"I could never keep it. That's bad karma."

"That's God." I said, "I don't believe in Karma but I believe in doing the right thing."

(I didn't tell the kids the karma part. They are in kindergarten. But I did tell them what the man said and that I shared with the cashier that I wanted to do what God would want.)

The next day I was leaving Wal-mart with a cart full of bags. Unknown to me, a bag fell out of the kid seat as I walked through the parking lot.

A lady ran up to me, picked up the bag and said,"Excuse me, m'am. You dropped this."

"Thank you," I said.

For the most part, I think the Kindergartners got it. Although, one very smart girl in the class wanted to know how a bag could fall out of my cart without me knowing about it.

We shared a lot more after that about doing the right thing.

Being good when no one is looking.

Being kind just because.

Because God is looking and He knows when we are being good or kind or whatever it is we are supposed to be.

And He always says thank you.

Let the good times roll.

Daughter played on the slip 'n slide with friends.

Then they took a break for popsicles.

The neighbor and her dog came over to visit with us.

The dog played with the kids and got a scoobie snack.

While the kids were on the swings, the dog rolled in some unknown excrement. (Beaver?)

Neighbor went back home to scrub the dog.

Daughter and friends are next door watching dog have her fur blown dry.

Yep, it's a fun day at our house.

No dress yet, but I had some delicious chicken nuggets.

I went out today to look for a dress to wear to an upcoming wedding. Honestly, I wasn't in the mood to try on clothes but I had the time and opportunity. Plus, Hubs is off again today, so he could pick up daughter from school.

Isn't that just the way it is? You have the time and even a little money and you cannot find a single thing on the rack?

Must be one of Murphy's Laws.

I didn't even find one thing I wanted to try on. Most of the semi-formal dresses were sleeveless. Not going there. The others I found were a little too dressy or shiny. I want to look like I am at the wedding not like I am in the wedding.

My husband is going to read this and think it is much ado about nothing. He just doesn't get it. He's a man and real men don't worry about clothes. They worry about bills and flat tires and hair loss.

I ended my shopping trip with a stop at Chick-Fil-A because no mall visit is complete without it. After eating fried nuggets and fries, I was less than inspired to try on clothes.

However, I did buy Spanx- my generations version of the girdle. My grandmother would be proud. A little Lycra is good for everybody.

Especially when it is covering chicken nuggets and waffle fries.

On the hunt...

I'm off today to search for a dress. I'll let you know how it goes.

Like most really good hunting trips, it takes a few hikes in the woods to get the best prize.

Unlike most really good hunting trips, I am going to take a bath before I leave and I refuse to wear camouflage.

If only I could just order my dress from Cabella's...

How do you spell Sack Race?

I've always said there is a reason why God made families with both a dad and a mom.

For one, having the appropriate gender available during the potty training phase is always a good thing.

And you can't play Good Cop- Bad Cop with only one Cop.

I'm just sayin.'

Then there's the fact that one parent is bound to be athletic and outdoorsy and one is ya know, not.

Guess which Cop I am.

Today is Field Day at my daughter's school. She is excited. She got up this morning all ready to put on her special Field Day t-shirt and put her hair up in a floppy ponytail. Try as I may to always understand and relate to her feelings and convictions in life, this one is hard for me.

I hated Field Day.

Field Day was extended, organized P.E. and P.E. usually involved a dodgeball that I could not dodge. Amazing too, because back then I was a tiny thing. Back in the day.

I loved recess. I loved the swings (even though now they make me want to hurl.) I loved the monkey bars. I liked to get dirty and explore.

But please don't make me stand in line while little Mia Hamm picks the kickball team. I was always one of two kids left and the other kid was not "tiny." Ahem.

I remember Field Day with all of the relays and races. I'd cling to another non-athletic friend and we would commiserate.

Clumsy loves company.

All the while I was thinking, "Can't we all just go in and have a Spelling Bee?"

Last week, daughter's school asked for parent volunteers for Field Day. Because I say "yes" to pretty much anything other than a field trip to the post office, I signed up. Plus, time with daughter trumps Field Day Flashbacks.

Then, in a wondrous miracle, Hubs took today off.

Hubs plays soccer. Hubs likes to go camping. Guess which Cop he is.

So, this morning I thought to myself, "Self, Hubs can help with Field Day and cheer daughter on and you can go shopping or stay home and brush up on your Spelling."

More reason why God designed the family to have both a dad and a mom.

And besides, sometimes even the Bad Cop needs to expand her vocabulary.

;>)

Wedding Dress

Dr. Freud, I think I need to lie down.

If you look in a Psychiatric Diagnostics Manual on page 546, you would find what is ailing me, along with a picture of me standing in a tiny dressing room with that little footstool, a magnetic shelf and a 3-way mirror with views of my muffin top, my backside and my double chin.

I have Pre-Event Dress Disorder.

Our friend Dave is getting married this summer. Hubs is in the wedding, so his wardrobe is covered. I am so thankful, too. It relieves the stress of me having to pick out his clothes. But, now I am on the hunt for a dress for myself, one that is appropriate for photos next to Hubs wearing a tux.

I am so excited about the wedding. Honestly, we are thankful that Dave has found someone who will put up with him.

I still haven't met the bride-to-be, but she must be something special if she has the patience and courage to marry Dave. Plus, based on all of the wonderful things Dave has told us, I know she is lovely and sweet and smart and all of those other things a bride should be.

I love her already.

But she cannot possibly be as stressed as I am.

I know it is her day, blah blah blah, and I know she is the bride and under a tremendous amount of pressure counting how many people are getting the chicken and the beef and trying to figure out how she is going to do her hair, but at least she knows what she is going to wear.


(Bride-to-be, because we haven't met, you may be tempted to take this post seriously; don't. Once we get to know each other, you'll realize that Hubs and I are just as weird as Dave.)

I was telling my daughter the other day some of the rules about weddings and guests' attire. For example, no woman but the bride may wear white.

Insert fervent prayer here- Please, Lord, do not let anyone show up at the wedding in white or my daughter just might point it out to me in a very loud whisper right there next to the groom's cake.

When my daughter asked, "why?" I explained further...

"Only the bride wears white. No one is supposed to take any attention from her. No one should be dressed fancier than her. (My daughter understands fancy.) It is her day. And, it is respectful to her to wear what is appropriate. Like, we can't show up at the wedding in flip-flops."

Insert giggles here.

I also shared with her that, since Daddy is going to be wearing a tux, that Mommy has to match him. I haven't matched anything in a tux since the late 90's.

Before y'all leave me some comments that "it's what's on the inside that counts" and "it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you wear a smile," I'll just go ahead and say that all may sound great on a Hallmark card but if you were the one going to the wedding, you'd know it's a bunch of hogwash.

And, just so ya know, when I put my mind to it, I can be quite lovely on the inside but no one is going to see my insides in any photos. At least, I hope not.

Hmmm... maybe I should have gone with the chicken.

Creepy

I saw this meme over at Vernonica's blog and decided to play along. There are a few other bloggers out there who are participating as well.

As it turns out, I am not as weird as I thought.

Here are a few things that creep me out:

1. Masquerade balls. I am a little nervous around folks who insist on hiding their faces. Plus, all of the feathers and sequins are too much.

And can I just say that men should never wear feathers and sequins?

2. Clowns.

3. Swimming in the ocean. I have to see the bottom of where I am swimming. The thought of what is swimming out there with me sends shivers down my spine. Just let me wade in the water no deeper than waist deep. I'll swim in the pool, thankyouverymuch.

4. Sitting next to the window on an airplane. I'd rather sit on the aisle. Again, my brain starts working and I think about the fact that there is a small space between me and the clouds. A strong, sturdy, steel space, yes, but....

Just give me an aisle seat. I can stretch- at least to one side.

5. Sitting in a theatre and not being near an exit.

I think I have "need for escape" issues.

So, what about you? What gives you the heebie jeebies??

Happy Mommy Blogger's Day

Let's hear it for the mommy bloggers out there,

for their commitment to daily posts,

and for their heartwarming and hilarious kids

who make it all possible.

Happy Mother's Day!

Honoring Mom- A meme

There's a great meme about moms going on at Internet Cafe today.

Take a minute to visit and find out what it's all about.

Then, write a post and add your link at the Cafe.

Bloggy break

I am taking a break for a few days, not because I want to, but because someone has to do the laundry.

I'll still be a lurker in between loads.

Be back in a few dozen or so socks...

It's a slow count.

As soon as I turned the laptop on this morning, I checked the headlines to see the results of yesterday's Indiana primary. I tried to stay up. I really did, but something was amiss in Lake County, Indiana last night and these weary, nerdy, election process-loving eyes were tired.

I am obviously a lightweight.

Because the election volunteers in Lake County were still up and counting ballots while the Fox News anchors and I were nodding off.

I have to chuckle. I've been to the polls. I've seen the volunteers. They are retired people, dedicated retired people, yes. But, retired people tend to take their time.

I keep picturing a lady named Thelma who made a special hair appointment on Monday, outside of her normal Friday routine, so that she would look good for the election on Tuesday. And a gentleman named Harold with his pants pulled up higher than his knee socks and a cap on that reads, "#1 Grandpa."

Then there's the loud mouth that no one likes, the one that wants to help everyone. All of the other volunteers look at him and roll their eyes. I'll bet he doesn't get invited to Bridge Night.

I'm trying to be PC here, unlike a few news anchors who said that they couldn't believe the folks in Lake County were still counting because, "Isn't it past their bedtime?"

Well, apparently not. They all stayed up and counted thousands of ballots in the name of Democracy, all after you climbed into bed with your down comforter and hypo-allergenic pillow, Junior.

The funny thing is, one day I can totally picture myself sitting there counting those ballots and you can bet your ballot that I'll have my hair done.

WFMW: NOT!

Shannon has issued a new challenge this week. She wants us to share what has not worked for us.

I ask you, Shannon, how much time do you have?

Seriously, I'll try to narrow it down to one or two, maybe three things. Goodness knows that I could write a novel on goofs I've made.

1. Not emptying the lint filter on the dryer. When we first married, I told Hubs that the dryer just wasn't working as well as it used to. He asked if I had emptied the lint filter.

"Huh?" I said.

He checked and it was full of lint. As he tells it, it had a lint blanket.

When he questioned why I hadn't emptied it, I told him that the lint filter was not where it was on Mama's dryer and that I assumed it didn't have one. (You can laugh now.)

So, there ya go- Always empty the lint filter after each dryer use. Not doing so will result in damp clothes and a story that your husband will never, ever forget.

2. Adding water to the car radiator's coolant resevoir tank.

A car needs antifreeze (the right mix) and water for all the seasons. Not just winter. The right mixture is the coolant.

When my old car ran hot, I kept adding water only.

Water only in a hot radiator = Boiling water= Overheated engine and huge repair bill.

I'm no mechanic. My idea of checking the oil is dropping a pebble in there and listening for a "ping," so I am sure there is a more technical explanation than the one I'm offering here. Bottom line- adding water only did not work for me. Or my Toyota Paseo. Bless its sporty little heart.

So, leave it to the experts.

3. Refusing delivery on a package via the US Postal Service.

Y'all know how I feel about Newman.

I ordered something from a company with guaranteed delivery. The item was for a holiday and the holiday was fast approaching. I phoned the company and said that I had not received the item. They told me to "refuse delivery" on the original order when it arrived and then they shipped another order via FedEx Overnight with no additional shipping charge.

The overnight package arrived.

The original package arrived late. The mailman left it on the step because I was not a home. I did not open it and took it to the post office to "refuse delivery." All I did was hand the box over the counter and tell them that I was refusing delivery. No services were rendered. This is the same thing I would do if I had been home to recieve the package.

Weeks later, the company sent me a bill for the original order. Long story short, the post office "refused delivery" package was never returned to the company. I called the company and explained and they asked me to speak to the post office first.

When I asked the post office about it, they told me that I should have paid for "proof of delivery" back to the company which translates to me paying for a service that I was refusing. Yeah, that makes sense.

I called the company back and explained what the post office told me. Fortunately for me, the company forgave the bill.

By the way, the company was Oriental Trading and I continue to shop with them. Their customer service is exceptional.

Which is more than I can say for the post office.

;>)

See Shannon for tips on what tips do not work... er something like that.

A different kind of gourmet coffee

I have favorite stores. A favorite Target, favorite Wal-mart, favorite Starbucks. If you aren't a Starbucks junkie, you are probably thinking that every Starbucks is the same.

You are so wrong.

There are good Starbucks, mediocre Starbucks, and there are really bad Starbucks that you will go to only if you are desperate for a coffee.

My favorite Starbucks has Miriam. I see her several mornings a week after dropping daughter off at school. Miriam shows me pictures of her grandchildren. She tells me when she is going on vacation and when she'll be back.

Miriam knows I'm a venti mocha, non-fat, add the whip. She recognizes when I'm having a rough morning. (Maybe the bags under my eyes give it away.) Miriam can tell when I need an extra shot of espresso.

This morning, Miriam must have thought I needed something a little stronger...

"Good morning, this is Miriam. How can I help you?"

"I would like a Venti non-fat mocha, add the whip, with an extra shot."

(silence)

Order on the screen-

Mocha
non-fat
Venti
add whip
extra shot mocha

"Actually, I would like an extra shot of espresso. Not an extra shot of mocha."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you said extra sauce."

"I'm sorry. I should have been specific."

"Oh, no M'am. Don't apologize.... your total is $4.77 at the window..."

Drive around. Wait at window.

"Now you've got me hitting the sauce???"

chuckles out loud from Miriam

Giggles out loud from me, along with mental note, "Blog this when you get home."