What can I do to get you into a downdraft cooktop today? It's got 10,000 BTUs.

Daughter and I ran last minute errands yesterday in an effort to regain my sanity.  My goal was to finish everything last week, before school was out, but alas, I didn't make the goal. I've never been good at sports.

Our first stop was the post office.  The parking lot was full so the only place I found was behind the little "Authorized Vehicles Only" sign, so I went for it. 

Hubs always teases me that I never break any rules, so I turned to Daughter and said, "Tell your daddy I parked where I wasn't supposed to today. He would be proud."

That was a pristine parenting moment, people.

As soon as we walked up to the post office, I saw the line and did an about face.  We climbed into the car, pulled out of the illegal parking space, and headed for UPS.

The line at UPS wasn't much shorter, but Brown is so much more efficient than Newman, so we were finished in no time.

The next stop was the appliance store where we looked at a cooktop that Hubs had found on sale.  We are looking to replace our old one and this store had one on closeout that had been returned from an order.  Daughter and I stood browsing the cooktops on display.

The salesman walked up and asked,"Hello, m'am.  What drove you in here today?"

I so wanted to tell him a Honda Pilot, but I thought that would be rude.  Clever, but rude.

So I said,"A cooktop" which is not only inaccurate but actually impossible.

I proceeded to tell him that my husband had been in there the day before and looked at one on clearance. 

"Oh, yes, this one," he said," as I recall the only thing wrong with it was that the measurements on the box did not match the actual measurements."

"Hmm.. the clerk yesterday said there was nothing wrong with it."

"Good."

Crickets chirping.

I continued,"So, the customer's measurements were wrong or the box is wrong?"

"The box."

"Then, can I open the box and look at it?"

"No."

More crickets.

He pointed to other models on the floor, all on sale but more expensive.  I told him I needed a gas cooktop.  The one on clearance was a real deal, but Hubs and I wanted to make sure it was one we wanted.

I asked again about the closeout one.

He started to walk away and said,"Let's look at a picture in the catalog."

At this point I was starting to understand why he asked me what I drove in there because I was beginning to feel like I was at the used car lot instead of the appliance center.  I went along for the sake of being polite (again, I may break one law each decade, but I try my very best not to be rude.)

He flipped through the pages to show me a wallet-sized picture of the life-sized cooktop that was in the box on the floor that I could potentially see in person if only he would open the box.

Ahem.

He showed me pictures of other cooktops, some of them electric.

"I need gas," I said.

"Oh, yes, that's right," he said as he flipped the pages.

He turned back to the picture of the original cooktop.  I looked at the tiny picture and told him that I wanted to see the burner covers, which is why I wanted to see it in person. I want a smooth, continuous burner cover so my tiny pots don't wobble. 

He said,"Well, they're going to look like this. They're cast iron."

I looked more closely, becoming increasingly frustrated that I should be able to open the box and see the cooktop for myself. Right there in the little picture were burner covers that appeared to have openings at the burner.

Wobbly pots.

I told him those burner covers wouldn't work and I'd have to think about it.

He sighed and said,"Well, we're just going to have to blow up the cooktop and build a new house."

"Nope, we're going to have to keep shopping." I said, and politely walked away thanking him for his help.

That's when I decided to head toward what actually drove me there and go home. Right after I finished the rest of my errands. 

That part of the story tomorrow.