Tuesday, June 20, 2006

If this ain't New York, then where am I?

For you New Yorkers out there, welcome. I hope my blog name hasn't offended you. Southerners do anything in their power to keep from offending someone. I chose the name because it just fit. This blog is about being southern, southernisms, and the like. Why? Because that is who I am.

I had to use "ain't." I just had to! It just wouldn't be the same without it. And, yes it is a word. It is in the dictionary. Of course, I don't use all of the words in the dictionary. And, even though I am southern, I don't always use ain't. Some of us down here do use proper English in the proper settings, you know. Like maybe when you are in New York.

But, honey, this ain't New York.

So where am I? Well, right now, as you can guess, I am on the computer. Otherwise, where I am doesn't matter all that much. I can tell you that the price of gas is way too much, we get cable TV, and there is a Wal-Mart around the corner. That narrows it down to about, oh, umpteen dozen towns.

What is umpteen dozen? In southernism, umpteen dozen is a lot, a whole lot. Like when you tell your child to go to bed over and over until it is almost tomorrow, you would say to him, "Go back to bed! I have told you for the umpteen dozenth time!" Or when you go to a church picnic and there is that one person who always eats like they have never had fried chicken before, you would say, "She ate umpteen dozen pieces of chicken!"

Now, you won't find umpteen dozen in the dictionary. You won't see it in The New York Times, or even in The Atlanta Constitution. But you may see it here on occasion. So, remember this vocabulary lesson. The next time I use a word or phrase that seems odd, it is probably a southernism. I will explain it to you in a southern drawl that you can't really hear. And it will take me forever and a day to do it. (there goes another one) That's just how we southerners are- detailed, wordy, lengthy, with lots of run on sentences.

Cause, this ain't New York.

2 comments:

Nancy said...

I'm so excited that it feels like Christmas morning. I can't wait to read your next post. Keep on writin'.

little b said...

i had to read every drop. Very refreshing. I can certainly see how YOU fender, would finally find blogging. You do have statements to make. It's kinda like a public diary. You mentioned blogs as not factual, but certainly informative, Like, those emails that people send that are questionaires: coke or pepsi?(and i think i know your southern answer to that) But in this case YOU make up the questionaire, and it fits beautifully and much more informative.
I haven't lived in the south, since TEXAS. and of course TEXAS is some other country, so i need all the help i can get for southerners, because after all, i really can't help it, no matter how i am blessed.
So my big mouth is finally put to text.
#1. I LOVE the POST OFFICE. I chat up the people serving me, and the line. And at our post office, there is a TV in there, just in case you DON't WANNA talk to anyone else. Tho i collected stamps when i was little, i still like going and getting different stamps. With such varied stamps, mine will often have meanings corresponding to those recieving the letters (the black widow stamp went to a bill i very clearly loved to pay. and the 80's stamps for those that I grew up with in that era). I love to get them to wipp out what new stamps have come in. THey are always polite, and good conversation. Tho i know most of the questions i ask are standard. Am i getting too much fun out of this? I once did have an unfriendly female person wait on me. Maybe she was a carrier with a broken limb? See, I think in our county, we send out all the angry postal workers on foot, to dissipate their bad vibes, or to put that negative physical energy to work. Our regular carrier, who i dearly love, has many "hardships", and i can often imagine him shaking his fist at the sky (no,i've never actually seen Paul do this) NEVER coop-up a frustrated postal worker! Haven't you ever heard "the term"....?
#2. THE LIBRARY. I may not get around to reading too many blogs, but i will certainly enjoy reading that perspective. and you guessed it: I LOVE LIBRARIES. Tho, with all the info on the internet, i don't know how they survive. I know several librarians, so i'll have to get the scoop in their defense. Infact, in our little bigcity, we have a BRAND NEW LIBRARY. It's beautiful! Right on our new Riverwalk. Infact the next time you are intown, i'll take you to it(kicking and screaming i'm sure)
Uses for library: GREAT place to study. GREAT architecture. Great place to find innerpeace. GREAT place to discover things. Tho i don't take time to read like i should, i get audio books. Reserve them online etc. My 7 yrold can't get enough of the library! She likes getting books out, and playing some learning computer games. Ok, I can download a story onto my palmpilot, but who doesn't like to curl up with a good book?