I'll have the bologna plate special, please.

Last night I made bologna cup.

yummy.

Well, almost.

It was late and I realized I had not eaten dinner. The rest of my family had been fed. Frequent scenario for most moms and wives. I had some leftover mashed potatoes from the night before, a fresh unopened package of beef bologna (pronounced baloney!). So, what else could I make?

Ba-lon-y cup!!

First let me explain why I actually have bologna in my frig. My child loves fried bologna sandwiches. If you have never had one, shame on you! Your arteries just don't know what they're missing. Before I share the bologna cup recipe, I just must, absolutely must tell you how to make the most perfect fried bologna sandwich.

I am beginning to think I am some sort of bologna chef, sort of like a sushi chef. Only the food is way more processed and less nutritious. Oh, and it doesn't smell like dead fish.

Anyhoo! To make a fried bologna sandwich, you brown a piece of bologna in a pan the way you would fry bacon. Flip it over to the other side. Slather your white bread (let's go for it!) with mayonnaise or yellow mustard. I am from a mayonnaise family. We eat mayonnaise on every sandwich, even a hot dog. (I know that doesn't qualify as a sandwich, but meat and bread are involved.) After you have slathered your bread with one of the two condiments, you place your fried bologna on and enjoy. You can add a fresh slice of tomato or some crisp iceberg lettuce, too. I prefer just mayo and the meat.

So, back to the bologna plate. I placed my piece of bologna in the pan to fry it. Then I waited. See, it is supposed to curl up. When it curls up, it forms sort of a little bologna bowl, or "cup". Clever how I work the name of the dish in there, huh? Never pierce the bologna with a fork or you will make it flat! One must use a spatula. (See I really am a bologna chef.) Well, I waited, I flipped, and I waited. It never curled up. I even used Bryan with the red rind.

See my mother and I had a long heart to heart about bologna recently. I called her one day and told her my bologna problems. "Mama, it never curls up." She informed me the bologna I was buying was too thin. It couldn't curl. You have to buy the thick slices, the ones with the red stuff you peel off. So, I bought Bryan.

Still, no curling. I gave up. At least it was cooked. So I continued with the next step: Place one scoop of mashed potatoes on top of your bologna cup/plate. I was supposed to then top it with a slice of Kraft American cheese, but we were out of cheese!

Oh, my bologna dilemma!

So, instead I had bologna plate, hold the cheese. Yum. And the taste took me back to public school lunch when bologna cup was a treat. It was always curled up just right with melted American cheese on top.

I don't think they fry bologna up North. Bologna is classified as a cold cut from the deli.

But, this ain't New York.