Thursday, November 02, 2006

A Compare and Contrast Baker's Dozen

Ya'll know I have an aversion to the compare and contrast aspect of writing. Well, only when it is forced on me for a grade...

I digress.

I am giving myself this very important assignment:

"Compare and Contrast the southernness of your/my generation to that of prior generations. You have as long as you want to complete this assignment. You may eat and drink at any time and you are not required to use a #2 pencil. Laptops and pointy things do not work well together. You will be graded on this assignment completely objectively."

1. My generation's Cadillacs have four wheel drive.

2. Prior generations ate chitlins. We don't. Sorry. There just isn't anything to compare or contrast to chitlins. Well, maybe my sushi to them is like their chitlins to me. (I know the proper spelling is chitterlings, but to people who actually eat chitterlings, they're chitlins.)

3. My daddy bought all of his tools at Sears. My husband buys them at Lowe's, Home Depot, or any other 50 acre retail store where those little trucks are always backing up.

4. Daddy owns Dickies. My husband has no idea what those are. (Can I say, "Thank Goodness!")

5. They watched Hee Haw. We watch American Idol.

6. "More cowbell" to them means, "Get a bigger bell for that cow. She keeps wandering off."

7. Atlanta or "Hot-lanta" is still where you go for serious shopping in Georgia, and you still hate driving there.

8. They would never goes to church without pantyhose- whether it is 32 degrees or 102 degrees. I have even worn pants on Sunday morning. AAAAHHHH!

9. My generation knows that Black-eyed Peas can be dried, canned, frozen or on tour.

10. My grandmother had her hair done once a week. I have my done every six weeks, if I have time.

11.Their teen heartthrobs- Elvis, James Dean, Robert Redford
Our teen heartthrobs- Rick Springfield, Tom Cruise, Kevin Bacon(OK- These are for anyone, no matter the latitude or the attitude!)

12. Their Country Music- Johnny, Patsy, and Merle
Our Country Music- Natalie, Emily, and Martie
(Maybe they have lost some of you along the way with the whole Presidential comment and all. I still love them. 'Til they deny Jesus in London or Paris or anywhere else, I still listen. Don't throw any blogger stones at me, please. :>)

13. My grandmother wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
My mother wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
I wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
I mean this literally, of course.
Some things never change.


Big Mama said...

Oh honey, times may be changin' but no way would any self respecting southern woman be caught without her lipstick.

P thinks it's hilarious that I will be in practically my pajamas to drive Caroline to school and still will stop and put on lipstick. It's really all about priorities.

Funny post!

Southern Girl said...

Very funny and oh, so true! I'd LIKE to have a standing hair appointment on Saturday like my grandmother and even my mom did for many years. There's another ain't $25 for a cut and perm anymore.

Linda said...

I like my lipstick, too, and I'm a Hoosier. And I still can't get used to the no-pantyhose thing, but i do it. Yuck.

Julie said...

LOL ~ Hilarious post!

I'm a lipstick girl myself. Just a few days ago I was at the dentist and the hygienist tried to wipe off my lipstick before she started cleaning my teeth. Only I used Lipfinity so it wouldn't wipe off.

I mean, I want to look gooood when my teeth are finished being clean.
Big Mama's right. It's all about priorities.

Susanne said...

I'm a Canadian and I have to have something on my lips before I go out the door! Alas, I think that generational thing will stop with my oldest daughter. She refuses to wear anything but lip balm, flavored of course, but no color!

Ok, what are chitlins?

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed this post. I give you an "A" for sure!

Mommy Dearest said...

I feel guilty every time I go to church without hose. My mother went to get her hair done every week, unless she was really sick. And yes, some things never change - gotta have the lipstick! I bought a waterproof lipliner last week to make it last that much longer before "touch ups."