Whatever Happened To Bug-Off Jeans?
We haven't even reached the tween years and it has appeared that fashion has taken over our humble abode. If it ain't pink and shiny, well then, it just ain't happenin'.
Our daughter loves the bling. Modesty is a priority at our house, so the fashionable fluff is taken in moderation. She has learned our standard of modesty and what it means to act like a lady. At this point, at least, she has also embraced it- a little too much, perhaps. She not only recognizes what is appropriate for her to wear, but likes to point out rather loudly what is inappropriate for others to wear.
Moments at the convenience store counter go something like this- Yes, honey, I see that belly button ring... I have no idea why that lady got a belly button ring, but that doesn't make her a bad person; that is her choice... I just don't want you to get one... no, I don't want one either...yes, you can have some M & M's if it means your mouth will be full of chocolate...
And, can I say muffin tops and midriffs have turned into entire sermon length editorials. Oh where does she get this stuff?
Ahem...
As much as I am thankful for modesty being embraced at our house, I am also deeply disturbed at how fashion has become a focus for our daughter. It doesn't matter to her if it is a designer brand or if it is from Wal-mart. It also doesn't matter if the clothing item has graced the covers of any fashion magazines. What matters is if she thinks it is in fashion. She doesn't care about other people's fashion. She only cares about her own wardrobe. She would absolutely take up for any child who was teased about their clothes. She just wants to have her own sense of style at her ripe old elementary school age.
When I was a kid all I cared about was if my Garanimals matched each other. The worse possible fashion faux paus that could be committed was if I wore a giraffe shirt with a zebra skirt. Or maybe if my corduroy pant cuffs collected dirt from the playground. I had no idea what was in fashion and I really didn't care. Of course, it was the 70's. I should probably be grateful that I was not in style wearing bell bottom pants and collars that could poke your playmate in the eye.
I make an effort not to emphasize styles and trends with my daughter and we do monitor television in our home. Nevertheless, our daughter is influenced by this intense focus on fashion and trends. I do think that part of her interest in finding her own style is an effort to express herself. (I just wish she would color me a picture and put it on the frig.!)
She is a very sweet girl and loves Jesus with all of her heart. She is just going to have to balance style with sensibility- a lesson all of us need to learn. In the meantime, we will stress the importance of beauty on the inside, that those treasures stored in the closet will only attract moths, but those stored in heaven will endure for eternity. We'll tell her the importance of being beautiful in God's Eyes.
We'll keep teaching her about modesty and moderation.
And muffin tops.
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4 comments:
Sigh. I still don't know what's in fashion. I always seem to be at least a few years behind. Just when I finally threw out all the skinny jeans out of my closet they are back in. Not that I could fit in them now anyway. Hmmm. Anyway, you seem to have a really good handle on how to respond to your daughter.
OK.
I admit it.
I'm way past 30.
So I can ask this with the ignorance of someone who is...uh...
OLD.
What is a muffin top?
I think you are doing a GREAT job with your daughter. Just keep talking and talking. Someday she won't be so focused on fashion. She'll probably always care, but it won't be such a priority for her. Be so thankful she's aware of what's immodest. I know what you mean about her comments, though. We always taught the kids how unhealthy smoking is, but we never made smokers themselves out to be Snidely Whiplashes. However, for the longest time, whenever they spied someone smoking, they looked at them like they were from another planet or ax murderers. And allow me to answer "His Singer's" question: Muffin tops are the folds of fat that spill over the tops of too-tight, low slung pants. Picture the spillover on a cupcake, and that's what it looks like.
My daughter is so concerned about her fashion style, too. Because we have a lot of kids, kind people are always passing along clothes to us (we've got a kid to fit about any size). We had some clothes passed along at the end of the summer. My daughter pulled out an itty-bitty bikini and said, "This isn't very modest." I was so thrilled! It went straight in the Goodwill bag, expensive name-brand and all.
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