It could be on SNL if it wasn't, ya know, Churchy and all.

Things have been a bit busy for us around here. I've piled on a few totally new commitments all at the same time. Because I'm a wonderful stress manager.

One of the things I've been involved in is a new Ladies' Bible study. I love ladies' Bible studies. There is something special about being with women of all ages studying God's Word.

Plus, you usually get to eat.

I've been thinking...

There's always a combination of specific personalities in a Ladies' Bible study.

BLESS OUR PRAYED UP HEARTS.

The Late One- She runs in every week late with an excuse of some kind, but we love her anyway. Mainly because her "excuses" are all obligations we dumped on her since no one else would take them.

The Crier- This girl needs some kind of lab tests done. She cries when you say "open your Bible." Whoever sits next to her gets to pat her on the back a lot.

The Lady with The Kleenex- It doesn't matter where the tissue box is in the room, she can find it. That is, if she doesn't have a tissue in her purse. During a long, spill-your-guts-out testimony or a Spirit-filled prayer, she will get up from her chair and return with the last Kleenex in the building.

She is also very good at finding church supplies.

The Encyclopedia Biblica- She has a library at home full of Chuck Swindoll, Charles Stanley and Oswald Chambers. She's always the one the group turns to with a question on scripture.

She'd be great in the Bible category on Jeopardy!


The One With Great Ideas- This lady brainstorms in her sleep. Some of her ideas are do-able, some not. What makes her special is that she keeps the group excited about all the possibilities. Her faith could move mountains.

The Lady Who Cooks- She can cook anything, but especially desserts. If it were not for her, the potluck luncheons would be nothing more than buckets of fried chicken and Wal-mart cookies.


The Quiet One- She never shares a word. On the rare occasion that she does, she says something so profound or personal that everyone in the room picks up their jaw when she's done.

The Comic Relief- Like the Lady with The Kleenex, she helps soothe the tension. Sometimes tart or sassy, she's the one who lightens the mood. Everyone says to her, "you crack me up."

The Sour Puss- Bless her heart, she is never happy, but she just keeps coming week after week. What you may not know is that all that anger and bitterness is the result of a lot of pain. Whatever her problem is, everyone cringes the moment she starts to talk.

Cue in Comic Relief.

So, did I miss a personality? Leave a description in the comments!

Works for Me: Lunch Burrito

I've been trying to make lunch for my husband each night. In my high heels and pearls.

No, really. The man is going to eat anyway. It might as well be healthy and budget friendly. So, I put a lunch together while we put away the dinner leftovers or just before I sit down to watch O'Reilly.

After a few weeks of this, I figured out one thing. Sandwiches get old.

He never said a word,but I knew he must be growing tired of them. I was tired of making them!

I needed some variety. One night I was putting away the taco leftovers and had an idea. Lunch burritos!

Hubs doesn't always have access to a microwave or won't take time to find one, so I left off the meat (cold ground beef- blech.)

Here's how I made it-

Lunch Burrito

1 10-inch flour tortilla
refried beans
shredded lettuce
shredded cheese of your choice
taco sauce or salsa (whichever you prefer)
chopped tomato, optional

Warm your tortilla in the microwave about 15 seconds until soft and pliable. Spoon in beans, lettuce, cheese, sauce, tomato, careful not to add too much. (You still need to roll it!)

Roll up just like a burrito. Wrap tightly in aluminum foil.

Hubs has eaten his cold and said it was great. Of course, you can microwave them.
When ready to eat, remove the foil, place on a microwave safe plate. Wrap the burrito loosely with a paper towel, microwave 60 seconds. (The paper towel keeps the tortilla from getting rubbery.) They also freeze well.

Variations-
Use leftover rice for a rice and beans burrito
For a sushi style wrap, use drained, canned tuna with a dash of soy sauce, rice, shredded carrots and cucumber. (for a cold wrap)
No rice leftovers? Use Uncle Ben's Ready Rice!


For more tips today, visit Kristen's blog!

Well, look what the cat brought in.

I can't believe it has been since Thursday since I wrote a post. Like most of society, I know you have been missing it.

Ahem.

We've been busy with some things around here. New things. Exciting things. Things that require some serious leaps of faith for me. I've been able to peek in at some favorite bloggers' spots, but I haven't really had a moment to write anything coherent.

Like this is coherent.

Plus, the exciting life I lead is just too overwhelming to put into words.

I will share this with you. My daughter has decided that Maggie is a felon. Yes, a felon. She made a poster for our living room wall complete with Maggie's mug shot.

At first I thought it was a Wanted poster, but when you look closely, you can tell that it is a cry for help for someone to take Maggie off our hands.

If my head were not about to drop on the computer, I'd expend the energy to take a photo.

I will quote it for you here:

Black Cat Felon

Accused of stealing breath and socks

Millions Dollars Reward for those who keep her!

Any takers?

DeeDee's Movie Meme

I love it when a fellow blogger does a meme just when I got nothin' to write.

DeeDee asks us to list our favorites and I am glad to oblige.

It appears that there is a divide in the blogosphere. There are English Patient people and non-English Patient people, which is odd because even the English patient was not an English Patient person. Wait until you see where I fall.

And I chuckle under my SnowCaps breath.

Here's my list.

The Movie Meme: (please list up to 3 per genre)

Favorite Comedy Film:
So I Married An Axe Murderer
Napoleon Dynamite
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

Favorite Romance Film:
The Notebook
Love Affair
The English Patient (gasp!)

Favorite Sci-Fi Movie:
The X Files, only because I am not a fan of Sci Fi but I am a fan of Mulder

Favorite Animated Movie:
Up
Charlotte's Web (the original)
Toy Story

Favorite Disaster Movie:
None, they all make me nuts with their lack of technical advisers

Favorite Christmas Movie:
A Christmas Story
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (animated version)
I know I should list It's A Wonderful Life here but I really only watch it because it is on all the time.

Favorite Horror Movie:
None. They creep me out too much.

Movies With Music:
None. They make my ears bleed. I like my movies and my music the way I like my peas and carrots- not mixed together.

Favorite Book to Movie:
The Notebook
Fried Green Tomatoes
Message In A Bottle (because I'm a sucker for Kevin Costner)

Favorite Classic:
Gone With The Wind
Schindler's List (not sure if it's a classic but it should be)
Rear Window

Favorite Chick Flick:
Sleepless In Seattle
Steel Magnolias
Hope Floats

Movie You Could Watch Ad Nauseum:
Forrest Gump
Christmas Story
Ferris Beuller's Day Off

Worst Movie of All Time:
Titantic (yep, I hated it. The acting was terrible and we totally knew where the plot was going.)
I know I'm gonna get some flack for that one. :>)

I'm Adding A Category For Movies I Like Without A Category:
Cable Guy
Edward Scissorhands
Top Gun (If you were a teen in the 80's, you know you loved it, too!)

Dear Mrs. Kravitz,

Y'all will be happy to know that since Sunday I have not lost my car.

Or my mind.

Sometimes we need to count our blessings.

I've been busy the last few days with some commitments, so I've been scarce in the blogosphere.

While I'd really love to take a nap or write a post, what I really need to do is clean the house, do the laundry and pull the weeds from the front flower bed. The neighbors could start to whisper.

Okay, they'll just whisper more.

Until later, I'm off to see the Swiffer.

Hope all is well and weed free in your neck of the woods.

And then the Old Timer's set in.

I'd put it off long enough. Unless my family wanted to eat broken Ritz crackers and old cheese for dinner, I had to go the store. (At least, I think that was cheese.)

Hubs and Daughter were off to Wal-mart for a special father/daughter bonding and purchase of a new can opener. Our old can opener died. Right there on the kitchen counter.

Hubs put it out of its rusty misery and chucked it in the trash. I asked him to run to Wally World while I ran out to get groceries. Okay, neither us actually ran. It's August.

I made my list and headed to the grocery store where there were at least three women on their cell phones. I passed one of them twice. The second time I passed her, she said something to the person on the other end, put down her phone and held up a huge jar of pickles.

Then she turned to me and said,"Is this half a gallon?"

Apparently I was wearing my math club t-shirt. Or my pickle t-shirt.

I looked at the label which read something about ounces and liters.

"Um, I have no idea," I said.

The little rusty wheels were turning then came to a screeching stop.

"You know what I would do," I offered,"I would go over to the milk section and find a half gallon of milk and read how many ounces are in it."

The lady picked up her phone and said,"I just found a smart lady!"

"If I were smart, I would have known if that were a half gallon," I laughed and pushed my cart.

I left the pickle aisle and continued shopping. Somewhere near the cold cuts, I saw the pickle lady with the huge jar in her cart. Yep, it was a half gallon.

I just realized that is why I had a craving for pickle flavored Pringles. Talk about power of suggestion.

With a cart full of buttermilk, chicken, chips, and taco ingredients I finally checked out. The store was busy and the manager bagged my groceries.

We headed for the door and towards my car. When we walked outside it dawned on me that I parked at the other entrance.

"Oh no, I forgot. I parked at the other door. This is what happens when you are out of your routine."

He laughed and followed me.

"Oh, no. On second thought, I think I was right the first time. I did park down here.

He laughed and still followed me.

At this point I was glad to have the remote device and started to push the lock button.

Talk to me, Honda, talk to me.

I heard the beep and followed.

He laughed and followed.

"I'm sure glad you aren't one of the teenagers. They would run in and tell all their friends not to bag that crazy lady's groceries."

He laughed and still followed.

Then I said, "You know what people are thinking watching us- look at that crazy person following that crazy person who can't find her car."

He still laughed, thank goodness, then unloaded my groceries and ran away screaming something about how he knew he should have taken that job at the Post Office.

On the up side, I did find my way home.

Hubs had the brand new can opener all ready and plugged in on the counter. It has a safety opener which removes the lid with a rounded edge. He said he spent extra ( a whopping thirty bucks) so I wouldn't "cut myself."

Because sharp edges are for the young.

Tomorrow I order our safety alert system.

If I can only find the phone.

Friday's Fave Five: Man-made materials

This will be short and sweet, or at least short.



1. Sinus Medication- Something is in bloom and it has caused my head to nearly explode. Hubs and I are both either stuffy or unstuffy. Any medication companies out there? We could be that miserable couple in your commercial.



2. Coffee- I thank our forefathers daily for dumping all that tea in the harbor.



3. The Internet- I guess I should really thank Al Gore but since he isn't necessarily man-made, it wouldn't work in this case.



4. Air conditioning- I don't know how my grandparents made it without A/C. Of course, they would say it didn't used to be this hot. Global Warming? Well, looks like I can thank Al Gore again.



5. Art- Art makes me smile. One of my favorite and most whimsical artists is Mary Engelbreit. I just ordered some things from her and love it. I already have a new calendar for my purse. The cover reads,"No, really I have it all under control."

Can't wait to use it. I know. It's August.

Which is why I am so thankful for #4.

See Susanne for more faves this week!

The King is Coming

It's back to school time. Kids can be seen in first day outfits and squeaky, not-broken-in-yet shoes, with backpacks of glue sticks and folders slung over their shoulders, walking down hallways paved with freshly waxed floors.

I don't remember a lot about my first day of school but I remember my daughter's big day. It was her first day in Kindergarten.

On her first day, my husband and I walked with her to the classroom. Her teacher greeted us at the door with a sweet smile and a soft "hello."

My daughter put her backpack and lunchbox in her cubby, then sat down in her seat. I told her everything was going to be fine, and that I would be back for her at the end of the day.

Because there's something about the promise of someone coming back for us that is comforting.

I recently read Sophie's post over at All Access blog. She and her family attended a concert by Travis Cottrell. I watched the video she posted of Travis and the other talented musicians performing The King Is Coming. I have to tell you, I got goosebumps. That hymn has always been one of my favorites.

Sometimes I wish The King was coming today. I want God to give Gabriel the go ahead, then the heavens would just open up and take us all out of this world. I can't wait to be raptured from bills and pain and laundry.

Can I get an amen?

But God tells us that no man knows the time or season when Jesus will return for His Church. We are to trust in Him and keep living out our faith on earth, looking for that blessed hope when Christ returns.

So, for now, I'll pay the bills and do the laundry. Until I hear that trumpet call, I'm holding onto the promise and the comfort that He loves me, He saved me and He's coming back for me.

He's coming back for me!

(Now, that gives me goosebumps!)

Victory for Mankind

The United States recently celebrated the 40th Anniversary of its first landing on the moon. Years of planning went into that first space walk. There were some who never thought it would happen. Still, others continued to work and wait, believing that one day man would walk on the moon...


Join me today at the cafe for a discussion on two incredible moments in history.

Grab a cup. I'll see you there!

Hot Dog!

Last week we were planning our weekend. Most of the time this involves simply making a list of household chores and needed grocery items.

We're an exciting bunch.

Plus, here in SmallTown, there aren't a lot of things to do. Not that we would do them if there were, but, I'm just sayin.' Unless we want to visit the local skating rink circa 1982 or play a game of miniature golf, it's tough to find excitement. The truth is that I passed on my roller skates to my cousin after I outgrew them and the carpal tunnel I'm suffering from all this blogging is really affecting my golf swing.

So, Saturday we attended the most exciting thing we could find- The Wiener Dog Run hosted by Wienerschnitzel.

Because when you combine over processed food, record high temperatures and tiny dogs who may or may not be carrying disease you've come up with a recipe for fun.

We arrived early to get a good seat. (See, I told you we were starved for entertainment.)

By "good seat" I mean a spot on the blanket that I keep in the back of the Honda. I brought bottled water in a cooler to keep us hydrated. We sat, sipped and waited as owners registered their dachshunds for the race. The organizers had a bigger turn-out than they planned, so the event was delayed.

We waited impatiently on our blanket in the 100 degree weather while watching the entrants sniff each other. (The dogs.)

At last, the first heat began. Owners placed the first eight wiener dogs in the gates. I brought my camera and planned to snap a picture but the crowd gathered and I didn't think you'd want a photo of people's legs.

Other owners stood at the finish line calling out names like "Rosey" and "Oscar" while squeaking chew toys.

The gates opened and they were off.

Not really.

The gates opened and the little dogs ran out, waddling on short legs, sniffing the grass and looking for their owners. Some of them ran into the crowd. Others turned around and ran to toward the gate. There were restarts and do-overs until finally a winner was declared for that heat.

Each heat was the same until finally one little dog did what we all were waiting for. His business. Right there in the middle of the track.

The embarrassed but brave owner ran to the "results" with her plastic bag, scooped it up, then ran back to the sidelines.

We all cheered.

After more do-overs, sniffing, running into the crowd, a grand prize winner was finally declared. She was a brown, energetic athlete with floppy ears and stubby legs. I apologize for not getting her stats but my guess is she was about 18 inches tall and a buff 15 pounds.

Her owner scooped her up and ran to the emcee to claim their prize.

Then we all iced them down with toilet water and ran onto the field.

Breakfast, Candles and Automobiles

You may have heard the news. John Hughes died. If you were a teenager in the 80's, you know what a terrible loss this is. John Hughes created characters we all loved and hated.

Duckie, Claire, Farmer Ted, Dell Griffith, Uncle Buck, The Griswolds, and the list goes on.

Hubs declared the terrible tragedy today while we were sitting on the sofa.

"John Hughes died! Did you know that?"

"Yep."

"John Hughes!"

"Yep."

"Guess there won't be a Breakfast Club 2."

"Nope. Plus, they're all too old anyway."

"Yeah, they'd call it Breakfast Club 2 with Oatmeal and Postum."

"And high fiber pancakes."

"Yep."

"Then they'd all go for their water aerobics."

The sad thing is that we'd be drinking Postum with them.

Sigh.

Seriously, thank you John Hughes. You made teen angst an art form.

We won't forget about you.

What was your favorite John Hughes film?

Works For Me: Making the most of Back to School Sales

1. Tax Holiday- If possible, buy supplies during your state's sales tax holiday. Be sure to check the state's website for an accurate list of what is taxable and what is not on the holiday.

Think outside the box. You may be able to purchase things tax-free now that you will need later.

2. Think ahead- You are going to need more notebook paper, pencils or lead refills. Buy them now while they are on sale and stash them away until Spring.

3. Consider the electives- Ask your art teacher or PE teacher for their wish list. You may find items on sale that they can use. (Elementary art teachers can always use markers. Now is the best time to find them on sale.)

4. Christmas- Yes, Christmas! While you are out browsing the sales, look for items that may be good stocking stuffers. Your toddler may not be in school, but she'll love some colorful washable markers in her stocking. Buy them now and save them.

You can also look for things that are tax free during your state's tax holiday! Remember, computers are usually included!

5. Empty shelves- Everyone is shopping for the same items. Sometimes this means they are all out when you arrive.

Remember to check office supply stores, too. One year for Kindergarten, I searched high and low for safety scissors. Office Depot was the only place that had them.

6. Don't stress- If you can't find every item on the supply list, focus on the basics. You can get the rest later. Laura Ingalls turned out just fine using a slate board.

If your kid doesn't have every single item in her backpack the first day of school, I'm pretty sure the teacher won't send her home.

And, if she does, remind her of that when it comes time for end-of-year teacher gifts.

Oh, I kid.

Kind of.

Check Kristen's blog for more great tips!

The Curious Case of Puttin' Up Peas

Y'all, there are stories that are so funny, so crazy, so good that no one in their right mind could conceive it to be true. This is why we have Snopes.

But then there are stories so perfect that even Mark Twain himself could not have made it up.

This is one of those stories.

My sweet friend whom I shall not name for her sake emailed me the story below. I asked her permission to blog it. She gave me the go ahead and said I could embellish as desired.

No need. This is Gold.

So, I will tell it to you as she told it to me.

Yesterday, while Mom, the kids and I were driving across Louisiana and Mississippi, Dad decided he would put up some peas.

He shelled what ended up amounting to 12 quarts of pink-eyed purple hulls. He is left-handed, and his thumb got so tired and sore that he finished the chore using his right thumb, which he said was very interesting/difficult.

Mom had suggested that his best friend William give him pointers for putting up the peas, so William came over to the house to help. They filled the largest pot with water, brought it to a boil, added the peas and put a top on the pot.

The lid fit onto the pot fine when they set it on, but apparently it was not the lid meant for that pot and when it heated up, it swelled enough so that it would no longer come off.

Dad and William are not stupid, so they removed the pot from the stove, iced the lid and waited. They still could not pull it off.

Since, I (sadly) do not have a video, (I could have won $10,000) I cannot adequately describe what happened next, but I will just tell you that they eventually removed the lid with a CROWBAR. I did notice that the crowbar was leaning up against the back door when we arrived today, but didn't ask why.

My brother told me this story. Dad had told me that he had put up peas yesterday and about shelling them, but I guess he was embarrassed to admit the last part.

I understand why he didn't tell Mom; I'm now waiting for her to say, "How did this dent get in my pot lid?"

My guess is that no one will answer that question.


I agree, friend.

I agree.

What I Accomplished Today

Got up.

Yawned.

Walked to coffee maker, made coffee.

Stayed in pajamas.

Answered the phone.

"Hello... sure, we'll go. Sounds fun."

Showered, dressed, applied sunscreen.

Climbed in friend's car while she drove us to the pool.

Sat in lounge chair and talked to friend under a shade tree.

Worked up a sweat by shifting my weight so as not to have those ugly lounge chair stripes on my thighs.

Came home.

Made dinner.

Blogged.

Yes, I am a huge contributor to society.

You are welcome.