Saturday, August 29, 2009

It could be on SNL if it wasn't, ya know, Churchy and all.

Things have been a bit busy for us around here. I've piled on a few totally new commitments all at the same time. Because I'm a wonderful stress manager.

One of the things I've been involved in is a new Ladies' Bible study. I love ladies' Bible studies. There is something special about being with women of all ages studying God's Word.

Plus, you usually get to eat.

I've been thinking...

There's always a combination of specific personalities in a Ladies' Bible study.


The Late One- She runs in every week late with an excuse of some kind, but we love her anyway. Mainly because her "excuses" are all obligations we dumped on her since no one else would take them.

The Crier- This girl needs some kind of lab tests done. She cries when you say "open your Bible." Whoever sits next to her gets to pat her on the back a lot.

The Lady with The Kleenex- It doesn't matter where the tissue box is in the room, she can find it. That is, if she doesn't have a tissue in her purse. During a long, spill-your-guts-out testimony or a Spirit-filled prayer, she will get up from her chair and return with the last Kleenex in the building.
She is also very good at finding church supplies.

The Encyclopedia Biblica- She has a library at home full of Chuck Swindoll, Charles Stanley and Oswald Chambers. She's always the one the group turns to with a question on scripture.

She'd be great in the Bible category on Jeopardy!

The One With Great Ideas- This lady brainstorms in her sleep. Some of her ideas are do-able, some not. What makes her special is that she keeps the group excited about all the possibilities. Her faith could move mountains.

The Lady Who Cooks- She can cook anything, but especially desserts. If it were not for her, the potluck luncheons would be nothing more than buckets of fried chicken and Wal-mart cookies.

The Quiet One- She never shares a word. On the rare occasion that she does, she says something so profound or personal that everyone in the room picks up their jaw when she's done.

The Comic Relief- Like the Lady with The Kleenex, she helps soothe the tension. Sometimes tart or sassy, she's the one who lightens the mood. Everyone says to her, "you crack me up."

The Sour Puss- Bless her heart, she is never happy, but she just keeps coming week after week. What you may not know is that all that anger and bitterness is the result of a lot of pain. Whatever her problem is, everyone cringes the moment she starts to talk.

Cue in Comic Relief.

So, did I miss a personality? Leave a description in the comments!


Mommy Cracked said...

LOL! I love this! I'm so glad you dropped by my blog so I could find yours. I love it! And yes, I think you pretty much nailed all of the Bible Study personalities!

His Doorkeeper said...

You forgot the "one-upper"! You know the one: If someone tells a sad story of sickness, loss of something or other, this woman can give a BIGGER / BETTER example from her life of saddness, loss, etc.

Bless her heart...there's usually one in every crowd!

pink green & southern said...

Hi-larious!!! And soooo true!

Larissa Smith said...

Love it! Now I'm wondering which I am...

I might add the Sympathetic Listener, who is constantly murmuring things like "oh, yes" or "absolutely" or "praise the Lord". She intends to seem genuine, bless her heart, but it doesn't usually come across that way and she just ends up interrupting the speaker's every other word.

2Thinks said...

What about the inquisadora, the one who asks a million questions because she has really been thinking on the study and looking stuff up in the Bible, yet she can't seem to get a clear picture. Kind of the opposite of the Dictionarion one.

I'm the question asker.

Fun post. Reminds me I need to find a women's Bible study to join, I haven't been in one for a while now.

Kimberly said...

So true, what about the one who never does her homework!

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Carpool Queen said...

"Well, honey, I'm sorry that your life's a mess, at least your personal tragedy has not dimished your ability to do good hair."

The Comic Reliefer who read about herself here.

Kelli said...

I have to say the One Upper is my favorite ... always waiting to hear her story and just how bad/good it can get!

Me? I'm the "silent stalker" Commenter. The one who comes here every day and reds, but is going through a phase where she thinks she has nothing worthwhile to share.

But she does. She just needs to open her mouth and get it out!

Sarah W. said...


One that makes me laugh is the "prayer request" gossiper. They need to know everyone's name, so they can "specifically pray" for others. And tell one too many details when asking for prayer for others!

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness ... LOVE IT! Plus, Love His Doorkeeper's comment about the "one-upper". SO TRUE!

Roxanne said...

I think you list was much like Mary Poppins. . .practically perfect in every way. There is ONE, however. . ."Devil's Advocate." No matter how much in agreement she may be with what has just been said, she will find a way to slip in the sly,"Weeeeelllll. . ."

That is not me--it's the one that drives me crazy. I'm the comic relief gal and have a WONDERFUL friend who was the tissue gal. For years she has said she is in charge of the "tissue ministry." And I think I liked the description of her the absolute best.

Roxanne said...

And I am married to the quiet one.