Sunday, August 16, 2009

And then the Old Timer's set in.

I'd put it off long enough. Unless my family wanted to eat broken Ritz crackers and old cheese for dinner, I had to go the store. (At least, I think that was cheese.)

Hubs and Daughter were off to Wal-mart for a special father/daughter bonding and purchase of a new can opener. Our old can opener died. Right there on the kitchen counter.

Hubs put it out of its rusty misery and chucked it in the trash. I asked him to run to Wally World while I ran out to get groceries. Okay, neither us actually ran. It's August.

I made my list and headed to the grocery store where there were at least three women on their cell phones. I passed one of them twice. The second time I passed her, she said something to the person on the other end, put down her phone and held up a huge jar of pickles.

Then she turned to me and said,"Is this half a gallon?"

Apparently I was wearing my math club t-shirt. Or my pickle t-shirt.

I looked at the label which read something about ounces and liters.

"Um, I have no idea," I said.

The little rusty wheels were turning then came to a screeching stop.

"You know what I would do," I offered,"I would go over to the milk section and find a half gallon of milk and read how many ounces are in it."

The lady picked up her phone and said,"I just found a smart lady!"

"If I were smart, I would have known if that were a half gallon," I laughed and pushed my cart.

I left the pickle aisle and continued shopping. Somewhere near the cold cuts, I saw the pickle lady with the huge jar in her cart. Yep, it was a half gallon.

I just realized that is why I had a craving for pickle flavored Pringles. Talk about power of suggestion.

With a cart full of buttermilk, chicken, chips, and taco ingredients I finally checked out. The store was busy and the manager bagged my groceries.

We headed for the door and towards my car. When we walked outside it dawned on me that I parked at the other entrance.

"Oh no, I forgot. I parked at the other door. This is what happens when you are out of your routine."

He laughed and followed me.

"Oh, no. On second thought, I think I was right the first time. I did park down here.

He laughed and still followed me.

At this point I was glad to have the remote device and started to push the lock button.

Talk to me, Honda, talk to me.

I heard the beep and followed.

He laughed and followed.

"I'm sure glad you aren't one of the teenagers. They would run in and tell all their friends not to bag that crazy lady's groceries."

He laughed and still followed.

Then I said, "You know what people are thinking watching us- look at that crazy person following that crazy person who can't find her car."

He still laughed, thank goodness, then unloaded my groceries and ran away screaming something about how he knew he should have taken that job at the Post Office.

On the up side, I did find my way home.

Hubs had the brand new can opener all ready and plugged in on the counter. It has a safety opener which removes the lid with a rounded edge. He said he spent extra ( a whopping thirty bucks) so I wouldn't "cut myself."

Because sharp edges are for the young.

Tomorrow I order our safety alert system.

If I can only find the phone.


Roxanne said...

You ARE smart. . .I nearly got beat up at a grocery store last year for asking a woman if she knew where the taco seasoning was. No lie. She took offense.

I, too, was at the bottom of the grocery barrel today. . .and I was SOOOOOOOOOO dreading the trip that I made hubs drop me off while he and the kiddos sat in the deli at the Real, Live For Sure Grocery Store. . .not the Wal-Mart Superstore. I even paid extra for THAT just so I didn't have to walk through the aisles of the metro-plex to buy my food.

Nancy said...

You should have gone to Leal's instead. Puffy tacos were the special today. They were ten times better than anything I've had there previously.

See ya in the morning. :)

Heckety said...

Oh HAVEN'T we all been there- airports are the ultimate worst for mislaying the car! We've been known to send the girls off scouting, mobiles at the ready, when we've lost ours! And I've even tried to get into similar looking other cars...But the way you write about it is sooo amusing!

Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

One of my least favorite thing to do shopping. Something I have to do today. YUCK!!!

My trick...if available I aways park right next to the shopping cart corral, this helps me to remember where my car is, and I don't have to walk 100 yards to put my cart back either, sad but true. If the DD is with me on our shopping trips it is her job to remember the isle number!!


Carpoolqueen said...

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!

Help is on it's way.

Sending you some gingko biloba.

And the direct number to Wilford Brimley.

Susanne said...

I hate it when I can't remember where on earth I parked the car. It makes me feel like I need to invest in an extra large wholesale bottle of Gingko or Omega 3.

And now I need to go see if I have any dill pickle chips because for some reason I'm really craving them all of a sudden.

Carie said...

Hilarious post! Is every trip to the grocery store such an amusing adventure! Thank you for admitting that you lose your Odyssey. I do all the time and frequently thank God for that little beep.

alyssa said...

how you set this older time.


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Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

:) This made me snort my coffee. That's a sign of a funny post. :)