Hot Dog!

Last week we were planning our weekend. Most of the time this involves simply making a list of household chores and needed grocery items.

We're an exciting bunch.

Plus, here in SmallTown, there aren't a lot of things to do. Not that we would do them if there were, but, I'm just sayin.' Unless we want to visit the local skating rink circa 1982 or play a game of miniature golf, it's tough to find excitement. The truth is that I passed on my roller skates to my cousin after I outgrew them and the carpal tunnel I'm suffering from all this blogging is really affecting my golf swing.

So, Saturday we attended the most exciting thing we could find- The Wiener Dog Run hosted by Wienerschnitzel.

Because when you combine over processed food, record high temperatures and tiny dogs who may or may not be carrying disease you've come up with a recipe for fun.

We arrived early to get a good seat. (See, I told you we were starved for entertainment.)

By "good seat" I mean a spot on the blanket that I keep in the back of the Honda. I brought bottled water in a cooler to keep us hydrated. We sat, sipped and waited as owners registered their dachshunds for the race. The organizers had a bigger turn-out than they planned, so the event was delayed.

We waited impatiently on our blanket in the 100 degree weather while watching the entrants sniff each other. (The dogs.)

At last, the first heat began. Owners placed the first eight wiener dogs in the gates. I brought my camera and planned to snap a picture but the crowd gathered and I didn't think you'd want a photo of people's legs.

Other owners stood at the finish line calling out names like "Rosey" and "Oscar" while squeaking chew toys.

The gates opened and they were off.

Not really.

The gates opened and the little dogs ran out, waddling on short legs, sniffing the grass and looking for their owners. Some of them ran into the crowd. Others turned around and ran to toward the gate. There were restarts and do-overs until finally a winner was declared for that heat.

Each heat was the same until finally one little dog did what we all were waiting for. His business. Right there in the middle of the track.

The embarrassed but brave owner ran to the "results" with her plastic bag, scooped it up, then ran back to the sidelines.

We all cheered.

After more do-overs, sniffing, running into the crowd, a grand prize winner was finally declared. She was a brown, energetic athlete with floppy ears and stubby legs. I apologize for not getting her stats but my guess is she was about 18 inches tall and a buff 15 pounds.

Her owner scooped her up and ran to the emcee to claim their prize.

Then we all iced them down with toilet water and ran onto the field.