Thursday Thirteen

A Little Christmas Potpourri

1. If your child goes to bed with the sniffles Christmas Eve, give her some benadryl so she won't wake up at 4:30 AM to open gifts. Oh, and so she will sleep well...

2. One of the sweetest things evah- A letter to Santa asking for a TMX Elmo for her mommy. Oh, yes she did. I told her even Santa couldn't work those kinds of miracles, and that he probably gave the TMX Elmo's to all of the kids first, instead of to the middle-aged big kids like me.

3. I love A Christmas Story, but I do wish Ted Turner would use some creativity in his programming next year.

4. On the subject of TV, I found Pirates of The Caribbean an odd choice for Christmas day. Nothing says Christmas like plunder, pillage and swashbuckling nonsense. (I started to watch a little, but the creepy ghosts were too much for me.)

5. It makes perfect sense to shop at Target at 8:30 PM, the day after Christmas. After all, it isn't like I just received a lot of gifts or anything. Plus, whimsical Santas at 50% off!

6. After closing down Target, one must go to Wal-mart and peruse the gift sets, boxed lights, and ahem, whimsical Santas because Wally World is open 24 hours. You never know when you might need a leaf blower at 3:00 AM.

7. When you leave Wal-mart at 11:00 PM and enter the dark, cold parking lot, be sure to walk out with someone, like the creepy shopper or another woman shopping in her sweats without make-up. You will feel so much safer. Always have a plan of action, just in case. Thread your keys through your fingers as protection. I find that the sharp end of a key is most threatening to a thief with a knife.

8. In case the keys don't work, just whop him over the head with those two bottles of Martinelli's sparkling cider that you just purchased at an unbelievably low price. You have to protect yourself, and keep him from getting your whimsical Santas.

9. Just in case you didn't get enough, um, whimsy, go to Michael's on the day after the day after Christmas... are you following me?... and look for bargains. Your daughter is a huge help in any craft store. She will find the shiniest poinsettias in the store.

10. A great hamburger hits the spot several days after Christmas. I find that turkey and ham are just over done. They were soooo two days ago.

11. This is also a good time to decorate the gingerbread house that has been on the kitchen counter for a while, now. Lucky you, it is a kit and full of preservatives.

12. And mail the Christmas, I mean New Year's cards.

13. And catch up on blogging. :>)