Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Wedding Dress

Dr. Freud, I think I need to lie down.

If you look in a Psychiatric Diagnostics Manual on page 546, you would find what is ailing me, along with a picture of me standing in a tiny dressing room with that little footstool, a magnetic shelf and a 3-way mirror with views of my muffin top, my backside and my double chin.

I have Pre-Event Dress Disorder.

Our friend Dave is getting married this summer. Hubs is in the wedding, so his wardrobe is covered. I am so thankful, too. It relieves the stress of me having to pick out his clothes. But, now I am on the hunt for a dress for myself, one that is appropriate for photos next to Hubs wearing a tux.

I am so excited about the wedding. Honestly, we are thankful that Dave has found someone who will put up with him.

I still haven't met the bride-to-be, but she must be something special if she has the patience and courage to marry Dave. Plus, based on all of the wonderful things Dave has told us, I know she is lovely and sweet and smart and all of those other things a bride should be.

I love her already.

But she cannot possibly be as stressed as I am.

I know it is her day, blah blah blah, and I know she is the bride and under a tremendous amount of pressure counting how many people are getting the chicken and the beef and trying to figure out how she is going to do her hair, but at least she knows what she is going to wear.

(Bride-to-be, because we haven't met, you may be tempted to take this post seriously; don't. Once we get to know each other, you'll realize that Hubs and I are just as weird as Dave.)

I was telling my daughter the other day some of the rules about weddings and guests' attire. For example, no woman but the bride may wear white.

Insert fervent prayer here- Please, Lord, do not let anyone show up at the wedding in white or my daughter just might point it out to me in a very loud whisper right there next to the groom's cake.

When my daughter asked, "why?" I explained further...

"Only the bride wears white. No one is supposed to take any attention from her. No one should be dressed fancier than her. (My daughter understands fancy.) It is her day. And, it is respectful to her to wear what is appropriate. Like, we can't show up at the wedding in flip-flops."

Insert giggles here.

I also shared with her that, since Daddy is going to be wearing a tux, that Mommy has to match him. I haven't matched anything in a tux since the late 90's.

Before y'all leave me some comments that "it's what's on the inside that counts" and "it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you wear a smile," I'll just go ahead and say that all may sound great on a Hallmark card but if you were the one going to the wedding, you'd know it's a bunch of hogwash.

And, just so ya know, when I put my mind to it, I can be quite lovely on the inside but no one is going to see my insides in any photos. At least, I hope not.

Hmmm... maybe I should have gone with the chicken.


Jennifer said...

You can't wear flip flops to weddings? Oops. My bad.

I also wore them on my wedding day, under my big ol' fancy dress. I decorated them myself with fancy ribbons - but you know, being the bride and all, I did get to make the rules on my footwear.

Good luck dress hunting! You could always go with a fancy skirt-top thing with even a jacket on top. It could hide those pesky muffin top mishaps. (o:

Lynne said...

I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm going to my niece's wedding next month and can't find anything suitable. I'd like a nice soft flowered print, but all the prints are so bright and gaudy. can't have that. And I want something with sleeves. Next to impossible to find that.

I may have to break out the sewing machine again!

Good luck in your dress hunt.

Jessica said...

My cousin is getting married in June and I am on the dress hunt myself. I hate dresses...I wonder if she would be offended if I wear pants...but the question then is, what kind of pants. And what will my 2 year old wear that is not stiffling and annoying to him? The delimmas!

Roxanne said...

I am so sorry that you have to go and "pressure" shop. How about some 3/4 length sleeve "jacket" and skirt ensemble thing in an awesome color.

OR you could just turn Boomama loose at (the) Steinmart(s) to pick something for you.

Julie said...

AND if you wear a white dress to a wedding and you are 7 months pregnant, you really shouldn't wear black panties. I know this because my husband's nephew's date (mother of his child) did this at my wedding. :O)

Susanne said...

I feel your dress shopping pain. I just went through that with my daughter's graduation. Stressful. And then when I finally found the dress, I had to find a bra (halter) to go under it. That was even worse. The shoes were a piece of cake.

Rachel said...

I just know you'll find something wonderful. It's out there, it's just the 972 things you have to try on to get to that perfect outfit that are a pain in the rear.
All my bridesmaids bought flip flops to wear after the wedding, they matched their dresses.. it was so cute! I went barefoot after I slipped in a spilled glass of champagne and landed on my butt in the middle of the dance floor :-)
Have a wonderful time.. no cliche's intended.