Wedding Dress

Dr. Freud, I think I need to lie down.

If you look in a Psychiatric Diagnostics Manual on page 546, you would find what is ailing me, along with a picture of me standing in a tiny dressing room with that little footstool, a magnetic shelf and a 3-way mirror with views of my muffin top, my backside and my double chin.

I have Pre-Event Dress Disorder.

Our friend Dave is getting married this summer. Hubs is in the wedding, so his wardrobe is covered. I am so thankful, too. It relieves the stress of me having to pick out his clothes. But, now I am on the hunt for a dress for myself, one that is appropriate for photos next to Hubs wearing a tux.

I am so excited about the wedding. Honestly, we are thankful that Dave has found someone who will put up with him.

I still haven't met the bride-to-be, but she must be something special if she has the patience and courage to marry Dave. Plus, based on all of the wonderful things Dave has told us, I know she is lovely and sweet and smart and all of those other things a bride should be.

I love her already.

But she cannot possibly be as stressed as I am.

I know it is her day, blah blah blah, and I know she is the bride and under a tremendous amount of pressure counting how many people are getting the chicken and the beef and trying to figure out how she is going to do her hair, but at least she knows what she is going to wear.


(Bride-to-be, because we haven't met, you may be tempted to take this post seriously; don't. Once we get to know each other, you'll realize that Hubs and I are just as weird as Dave.)

I was telling my daughter the other day some of the rules about weddings and guests' attire. For example, no woman but the bride may wear white.

Insert fervent prayer here- Please, Lord, do not let anyone show up at the wedding in white or my daughter just might point it out to me in a very loud whisper right there next to the groom's cake.

When my daughter asked, "why?" I explained further...

"Only the bride wears white. No one is supposed to take any attention from her. No one should be dressed fancier than her. (My daughter understands fancy.) It is her day. And, it is respectful to her to wear what is appropriate. Like, we can't show up at the wedding in flip-flops."

Insert giggles here.

I also shared with her that, since Daddy is going to be wearing a tux, that Mommy has to match him. I haven't matched anything in a tux since the late 90's.

Before y'all leave me some comments that "it's what's on the inside that counts" and "it doesn't matter what you wear as long as you wear a smile," I'll just go ahead and say that all may sound great on a Hallmark card but if you were the one going to the wedding, you'd know it's a bunch of hogwash.

And, just so ya know, when I put my mind to it, I can be quite lovely on the inside but no one is going to see my insides in any photos. At least, I hope not.

Hmmm... maybe I should have gone with the chicken.