Tuesday, February 23, 2010

An Open Letter To Newman

Most letters begin with "Dear," but Newman, you and I both know that would be stretching it.

So.

Newman,

We've had our ups and downs. Mostly downs. We've had our disappointments. Mostly mine.

The time has come when I feel we must make amends. This enmity between us has affected the lives of my loved ones and it breaks my heart.

Over the years I've scoffed at your profession. The late mail and damaged packages. The tracking system which is just a ruse. Your attitude. Your little truck... okay I never made fun of that.

Alas, I set aside all of my unused two-cent stamps and my grievances and reach out to you with one request.

Please deliver my daughter's valentine.

Her grandmother sent it over two weeks ago. She wrote legibly and didn't use a red envelope. Still, the valentine (and the twenty tucked inside) are somewhere out there in Postal World. Lost. Lonely. Torn. (Man, I hope not.)

In the spirit of St. Valentine and all the other Hallmark holidays, let's call a truce. A little girl and her piggy bank are waiting.

I'll be at the mailbox at our usual time. You know the place.

Painfully Sincere,
Melanie

P.S. You'd better not be spending that twenty on root beer and TV Guides.

7 comments:

averagemoreorless said...

Why is it always money and never bills that get lost in the mail?

Our Comfy~ Cozy Life!!!! said...

So true! I hope you get your letter (and money!) soon!!!! :)

Melanie said...

Oh I hope nobody opened the card and took the money. I never send money just for that reason. I hope she gets it soon.

Roxanne said...

But money is so much FUN to get. . . :)

I got a package the other day that was torn. Luckily the letter AND the paper back book were undamaged.

2Thinks said...

I have to know, is Newman your real postman? I love this post!

Carpool Queen said...

Please let me know when it shows up. Or I'll have to hunt him down. You don't get between a girl and her pocket money.

Carol said...

I. am. cracking. up.