Thursday, August 28, 2008


Last night Maggie was begging and meowing in despair for a little (or in her case, big) bedtime snack. For Maggie, a snack is a meal.

I went to the pantry and found one last can of Elegant Medleys, her gateway drug of choice. She started out with Turkey Florentine in a delicate sauce. Now she's moved on to the hard stuff- Chicken Primavera in a savory broth.

Knowing Maggie's deep dependencies, I stared at the last can for a moment, listening to the pitiful pleading at my feet, and pictured the insanity that would ensue in the morning if I gave in to the pleading.

And then I totally caved.

I opened the last can of cat food, not just any cat food, Medleys, and watched as Maggie scarfed it down. The rest of the evening was quiet and normal. (Well, normal for our house.)

Then the alarm clock went off this morning and with it, the wailing and gnashing of kitty teeth that greets us each and every torturous sunrise. It's like we have a deranged rooster with fur. Only this rooster doesn't crow. She meows and leaves hairballs on the good rugs.

Most mornings, Hubs takes care of Maggie's needs. This morning was no different, except that Maggie's needs could not be met. No Medleys for her. (Picture the soup Nazi with a can opener.)

I could hear Hubs in the kitchen trying to make his own breakfast with a hungry, angry cat at his feet. I didn't offer any information and just pulled the covers up over my head.

Denial.. It's a stage of grief, you know.

Then Hubs came in our room to make an announcement. I listened from under the covers.

"Maggie is out of Medleys," he said, "so, I haven't fed her."

"I know. I gave her the last can last night," I said from under the comforter.

Hubs continued to get ready for work and I nestled comfortably in my stage of grief. Maggie continued to wail and meow, and then she scratched on the door.

She's declawed, so I guess technically she rubbed the door.


She was out of her mind. Complete detox. I got up and tried to calm her. I explained that we had no more Medleys, but that she would be perfectly fine. I told her I would go to the grocery store after taking our daughter to school.

To Maggie's credit, she is a cat and doesn't really understand English.

As I made breakfast and then packed lunch for my daughter, Maggie continued to whine in a most pathetic tone. I looked at her knowing full well that she had eaten less than 8 hours earlier, and told her that she would indeed live.

She didn't buy it.

In an act of desperation, I opened a can of Chicken and Stars soup, plopped the solid contents in the cat dish, and waited. Maggie sniffed it, looked at me, then sniffed again. Then she licked the tiny, dried remains of last night's bedtime snack.

Oh, the horror. Those with addiction will do anything for a fix.

I left the house, took my daughter to school, and went straight to the grocery store. I am happy to say that we are fully stocked in Turkey Florentine and Chicken Primavera. I even added in a Souffle as an apology.

Maggie? She is fine. She has been well fed with a clean bowl.

She made it through her own stage of grief- Anger. I'm so glad she's declawed.


Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

I don't know if this would do for her, but I used to feed my cat a scrambled egg if I ran out of food! She loved it!

Just Terrific said...

I have 2 cats and 2 dogs. I can usually stall the dogs and/or pacify them with something else. They are always thrilled to see me when I get home after school (I teach elementary school). But, it's a whole different story with the cats.

They are glad to see me for a totally different reason. Their attitude is more like....."It's about time you came home to feed me!!" Neither of them will eat just any thing, as well. I usually have small cans of tuna. The little cans of white albacore in spring water are a little too pricey for feeding the cats but a starved feline can be pretty convincing. It's a joke at our house when this happens. You know, like the "emergency" can of tuna was under glass, only to be broken in an extreme emergency =)

It kind of makes you rethink as to who is exactly in charge, doesn't it??

Smilingsal said...

That's one spoiled cat! lol

Susanne said...

Hahaha. "Gnashing of kitty teeth". LOL. I can so relate. In desperation I have plunked down canned dog food, shredded cheese, and whatever leftovers I can find in the fridge that I figure our cat might like. They sure are stubborn things and just don't give in. I've found, though, that the juice from a can of tuna with a few flakes thrown in will pacify ours until we can get to the store.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Oh good grief. That cat is another child! I forget where I was reading last night, but someone paid homage to Maggie, and I completely cracked up. "Get-away drug of choice" is too good.

Roxanne said...

I'm glad she didn't gnash YOU with those teeth!