Thursday, May 20, 2010

More Things I Don't Understand: Subliminal Confusion

Y'all know I sit and wonder about things that baffle my mind. It happens a lot. It doesn't take much to confuse me.

1. According to a commercial I just watched, there is a cereal I can eat for two solid weeks that will take a whole inch off my waist. They call it Special K, but they don't realize I need Extra, Extra Special K and a lot longer than two weeks.

2. Why don't they just name it "The Cereal Women Eat When They Have To Get In A Bathing Suit?"

3. I realize that I want to make anything Paula Deen cooks as long as she looks at the camera and laughs.

4. A lot of companies are using babies and children in their ads because they know we love babies and children, as long as they aren't screaming in Wal-mart.

5. Funny, I haven't noticed any Wal-mart commercials featuring talking babies and disappointed kids without ponies.

6. My grandmother never owned a pair of sneakers. Grasshoppers were as close to athletic wear that her feet ever touched. I have no idea what made me think of that.

7. After our misadventure at the steak place, I realize waiters and waitresses are simply the middle men (or women) between us and the kitchen. Sometimes they are like the florist who shows up at your door with a dozen long-stemmed roses. Sometimes they are the negotiators in a hostage situation.

8. I suddenly want some nice roses for the dining table and a well-prepared, (no toppings, please) New York Strip.

9. I was going for 10, but we'll have to settle for 9. It will drive you OCD readers crazy, and I kinda love that a little.

10. So, I caved. My grandmother never wore sneakers, and she taught me never to offend. Or make people crazy.

Have a Special day.


Laura said...

i personally like the old yougart commercial that showed the girl over time getting skinny to wear her polkadot bikini. i prefer the ny strip myself

Roxanne said...

My Granny never wore athletic shoes either. She DID have some Ked type shoes that she wore--navy blue--and she also had galoshes to wear over her good shoes when it rained. For real, clear galoshes.

Carpool Queen said...

Thank you for knowing your readers. It would have sent me off my rocker had you ended in 9.

And my goal in life is to pronounce "oil" the way Paula Deen does.