Friday, May 14, 2010

When texting goes horribly, horribly wrong.

On his way home from New Jersey, Hubs decided to text me his travel updates. The funny thing is, he always snickers at those husbands at baggage claim who call their wives. You know the ones. They call before they board. They call as soon as they land. They call when they get their luggage. It's really obnoxious.

However, texting the same information is not. Obnoxious. Nope. Not at all.

And denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

So anyway.

Hubs knows I worry. I realize he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but he also has a tendency to get lost or, at the very least, not have any cash. This is all despite the fact that I am certain that his mother taught him never to leave the house without cash. Yes, he is a grown man, but I love him dearly and worry because I love him.

Plus, I am a paranoid person and worry is in my blood, much like the butter I slather on biscuits.

On his way back home, Hubs sent me a series of text updates, in abbreviated forms. Apparently, I am not as hip as I have allowed myself to believe.

"All Aboard"- No interpretation needed.

"OTG @ DFW"- On the ground at Dallas Fort Worth.

Pretty easy, eh?



Think, think. "OTP"- On the plane...

Within minutes of his text, his mom called to see if I had heard from him. I shared the texts with her, minus the TOTP part, and that I thought he'd be home late. We talked and caught up and then I got off the phone.

My brain returned to TOTP. It was driving me nuts. Since TOTP, he had not texted me again and I was certain that he would have landed by then and surely was driving home.

I texted back.

"Where R U?"

No answer.

By now it was late and I was tired.

"TOTP"... texting on the plane?

OH. NO. Terrorist On The Plane.

My Common Sense Self kept tapping my Paranoid Self on the shoulder saying,"NO WAY. He is fine. You're nuts. You're tired. Besides, you're nuts."

But, then my Paranoid Self turned around and pepper sprayed my Common Sense Self and took over.

What do I do? Is he going to text me and ask me to call our FBI friend?

Tap, tap. SPRAY. My Common Sense Self cowered away.

FINALLY, Hubs walked in the door. He was perfectly fine. I asked him what TOTP is supposed to mean.

"Turning off the phone," he said, "I made it up."

"You can't make up acronyms without sharing them with me! Do you know what I thought it said? I thought you meant terrorist on the plane!"

"Sorry. If there had been, my text would have been 'STD."


"Saving The Day."

"Okay, but you may want to come up with a new one because that is not what most people think about when they hear that abbreviation."

"Oh, yeah. I guess not."

Maybe we should go back to two Dixie cups and a piece of string.


Jesus Chick said...

That is so funny! I make my own abbreviations up too. Like "LI" - Laughing Inside (as opposed to out loud)

Sami said...

I wandered over from Carpool Queen! My aunt was recently on a flight and was convinced that the man sitting beside her was a terrorist because he was reading the Koran and acting suspicious. He was actually reading the Bible and worked for homeland security. He was grilled by her, nonetheless! Because anyone can SAY they are security...It's been a few months and I still don't think she's convinced he was legit!

Ashlee said...

This is hilarious and sounds much like the texts that my mother in law and I exchange. She makes up the weirdest abbreviations!!

Kelli said...



Now, I have a new past time at dialysis.

Text my kids at school and make things up. Keep 'em busy.

Roxanne said...

Oh. My.

No texting needed to figure that one out. :)

Roxanne said...

BTW, I have a friend whose mom thought "lol" stood for "lots of love" so for THE LONGEST she would sign her e-mails with that.

As in, "Grandaddy has taken a turn for the worst, and Aunt Minnie broke her ankle. I will keep you posted. LOL, Mother."

Yes. . .they finally corrected her.

Laney said...

"But, then my Paranoid Self turned around and pepper sprayed my Common Sense Self and took over."

Funniest thing I have read today! :-D

Observer said...

this is absolutely hilarious! AIRMT

(and i really mean that!)

Carpool Queen said...

Snicker. We have texting shorthand, too. Sometimes we even remember what it is.