Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The early bird gets embarrassed.

Warning: This is one of those posts I warned you about; it is full of wordy details and run-on sentences. In my husband's words, "A Southern Story."

This morning I awoke to the realization that I had neither purchased a gift nor mailed a card for my husband's grandmother, and that her birthday is today. I had planned to send her some flowers this year, but I usually call and order them the day before. So, I panicked that I was a day behind. And, to top it off, I waited until the early afternoon to call and order the flowers.

I always call and order flowers directly. Our long distance plan has a flat rate, so by calling directly and not wiring locally, I save the wire fee. And, I can ask the florist myself what they have on hand. (This prevents my loved one from receiving carnations, which I hate. That's another post.)

The florist was quite nice and understanding, and she assured me that the flowers would be delivered today. Whew!

Everything was going so smoothly until I called my mother-in-law. During our phone conversation, a huge bomb was dropped on me. The birthday is tomorrow.

After recovering from the awful mistake, I decided not to call the florist back. Just leave it "as is". Grandma can wake up to fresh flowers tomorrow. (Although I will fess up to her on the phone why I was actually one day early!)

So, now on to the run-on sentence/ what does this part have to do with the story? section...

My child and I were on our way to Publix to buy groceries and birthday cards. I shared my birthday blunder and said, "Mommy has lost her mind."

She replied, "Mommy, you have lost your marbles."

Then, we discussed how they make marbles which led to the fact that she has two marbles, you know the "ones in her finger bowling game", and that they must blow bubbles into marbles with soap or something like that...

After arriving at Publix, we bought our cards and part of our groceries, except for the Hunt's Meat loaf Fixin's (and yes it is spelled like that on the can) which they apparently do not sell at Publix because I guess people who shop at Publix don't eat meat loaf, but I shop at Publix and I eat meat loaf, but I also shop at Winn Dixie, which may make me a meat loaf eater in denial or something...

Then, on to the post office. You know, my favorite place in the whole wide world, next to the library and the immunization clinic. Because, if I can't get the birthday right, the least I can do is use the correct zip code.

For some reason, I have a problem with this particular address's zip code. I always have. It is not organized in my mind, and even when I double check it in my address book, I question myself. So we double checked the zip code with the postal carrier behind the counter- who was, drum roll please- very pleasant! I think it had something to do with the piece of candy in her mouth. Must have been Mentos.

So after goofing the flowers, purchasing a substitute meat for dinner because we couldn't find my meat loaf fixin's, and verifying zip codes, we headed for home while singing "This is the house that Jack built, ya'll." (Have I shared our love for Aretha Franklin in the car, fondly known as 'Retha?)

Moral of the story- Hang the Mary Engelbreit calendar with new plastic hook thingy on refrigerator immediately. And start on those crossword puzzles. Long live the OOMM!


Nancy Murphree Davis said...

I don't think Whole Foods has meatloaf fixins either. You could buy organic buffalo to mix it up, though.

boomama said...

One time I tried to find Pizza Quick at Publix. They were horrified.

And I'm not a fan of carnations, either. Funny thing, though - they were my sorority's Official Flower. A sorority founded by Southern women! Have you ever? Did they not KNOW? :-)

Anonymous said...
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Melanie @ This Ain't New York said...

In case you guys are wondering, I deleted my own comment to test this whole "delete" thing. Never know when a weirdo may leave something on here. My friends are weird enough. :>)))