Tuesday, September 12, 2006

More Fascinating Observations

Have you ever noticed that the shoppers in Target are wearing either flip flips or clogs? Well, I am here to share another sociological study with you.

Do you ever get on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia? (points for whoever guesses where that quote is from!)

I used to be a Wal-mart and a Target shopper. But lately, I have left ole' Sam in the dust and embraced that cute dog with the red circle around his eye. BTW- Doesn't he look like Petey from Little Rascals?

The Wally World near us has just turned into chaos. I am not a Target snob; I still love Dollar General and hello! The Dollar Tree! But, when I have to venture into a 100 acre discount store, Tar-zzhay is for me.

I can see that you are at the edge of your seat, so let's proceed to The Very Important Sociological Observations-

Picture this. A mom and three boys at the end of the day. You can imagine how tired the little guys are after a long day at school and who knows how many Capri-suns. Now mom is trying to shop. Is she insane?

This is what I overheard from a few aisles over. (The great thing about huge stores with high ceilings and tile floors is that any sound magnifies to like 1000 times.)

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! "

"STOP IT!!!"

"Mom!"

"Boys!!! Sandwich! Tape!"

This is the part that cracked me up. I have heard of "Zip it," "Hold a bubble in your mouth," and the all time favorite "I'll give ya somethin' to cry about." But, Sandwich Tape? This one is new. I must have missed that Supernanny.

My first thought was, Sandwich- the kid imagines closing his mouth like you put the two pieces of bread. Then, I wondered if you stuff the sandwich in the kid's mouth, then put the tape on. That would work. ;>) What kind of sandwich does the kid imagine? I decided to go with a peanut butter sandwich, the kind that sticks to the roof of the mouth. As for the tape- gotta go with a classic- duct tape. This is all virtual and not literal, of course.

Either way- duct tape, scotch tape, peanut butter or ham, the "Sandwich! Tape!" method didn't work. The boys kept screaming and doing what brothers do- torture and tease each other in public.

That poor mom was at her wit's end when I heard her say, "Atticus! Enough!"

Yes, the kid's name was Atticus. I don't know what is funnier- A kid imagining a PB & J and duct tape to stay quiet, or a kid named Atticus. Bless his heart. He is destined to become a lawyer.

This was my day. Full of unbridled excitement. And peanut butter sandwiches.

7 comments:

Susanne said...

I'm gonna have to start listening better at those stores. :P

Tammy said...

Isn't it amazing what you can overhear while shopping? It's one of my favorite pastimes! (Not that I'm nosey or anything!) ;)
That story was so cute!

Brenda said...

LOL. I gotta hang out with you sometime.

Melissa said...

I'm with you on the Target thing...though there's not on in my town so I'm forced to shop at Wally World.

Sandwich tape? Still not getting that one! I've heard "zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket"...my daughter loved that one!

mommy to four j's said...

I am going to have to start talking quiter at the store so no one can hear my big mouth. I also love Target especially their sale items.

Mommy Dearest said...

I love Target, too. We don't have Wally World - sounds like an amusement park!

lrlwreath said...

Target all the way. Esp at Christmas time, have you noticed how much Wally world puts in the isles, so you can not get around. pet peeve of mine, because, yes with three boys in tow you need all the isle space you can get. HA!1