Thursday, September 28, 2006

Thirteen...

Thirteen Things You Should Know Before Running For Office

1. According to TV ads, politicians play a lot of checkers with old people.

2. They also walk around the neighborhood with one fireman, one police officer (usually the sheriff), and one woman with a baby on her hip.

3. Politicians sit with small school children in the classroom and read Dr. Seuss.
The kids LOVE IT!

4. The same generation of voters who hides money under the mattress because they do not trust the bank, also believe the politicians will make sure they get a social security check on time, for the right amount. Every. Single. Month. until they die.

5. Babies love politicians. They never cry or spit up when held by the
President, governor,or congressman.

6. Whenever you run for office, you have to sit on a white porch with someone and drink tea. Be sure to wear a tie, but roll up your sleeves.

7. While campaigning with "the little people", wear a chambray shirt and khaki pants. If you don't have time to change, just take off your sportcoat and throw it over your shoulder.
(Hold it with the tip of one finger.)

8. Every single politician always tells the truth. But the other guy is a liar.

9. Women who run for office stand with their arms crossed a lot.

10. They are never seen playing checkers, but they do sit and read
Dr. Seuss to small school children.

11. Women who run for office usually wear a navy suit and have helmet hair.

12. If you are the politician who tells the truth,
make sure you say the other guy is running a "smear campaign." That'll show 'em!

13. As a last resort, have people hold campaign signs at busy intersections and wave. Drivers will honk their horns, but I don't know if they honk in support or in opposition...

4 comments:

Nancy said...

You speaketh the truth. Don't they see through these stereotypes? I loved West Wing because it showed the guys who run the show in the campaigns. It was eyeopening.

Anonymous said...

The helmet hair thing is what keeps me from running for office. Well, that and the fact that I don't do politics.

Enjoyed your list!

Anonymous said...

Good post,
Jen

Susanne said...

LOL!