This Ain't New York

Thirteen Things I Would Add To The Next Season Of Project Runway


1. I would add those girls from the runway Corelle wear commercial. Only, I think I want all of them to slip down so I can see that every pattern is shatter proof. Of course. Ahem, that is the reason.

2. Tim would show up for Laura's delivery in a special edition of the show.
He would walk in and say, "Doctors. Can we gather 'round? For your next challenge, we will have you deliver Laura's baby in the twinkling of an eye, all the while keeping her absolutely free of pain, her red coral lipstick unsmudged, and her red hair neatly coifed. The winner of this challenge wins nothing. The losers will be chewed out by Laura. No holds barred."

3. Each designer would have to design an outfit for a new mom. The mom will model the outfit on the runway, toddler by the hand, newborn baby on one hip, and diaper bag over her shoulder. Let's see who survives that one.

4. Jeffrey would return and have to remake all of those outfits in question on camera. (I know he was found innocent, but I am a cynic.)

5. The models would have to eat the leftovers of a happy meal before each show. ;>)

6. The judges would include 3 random shoppers from Wal-mart, Target, and JCPenney. None of them below age 20.

7. As part of the new mom outfit challenge, the outfit will have baby spit-up, permanent marker, ketchup, and one unknown mystery stain applied. Then the Tide and Gain people can fight over which product works.

8. Stacey and Clint show up as guest judges.

9. Instead of going to the recycling center, the designers must go to my closet and use all of the not so fashionable clothing to create a new design. Good luck.

10. Uli broadcasts her spectacular runway show from Miami, Brandy in the audience and paparazzi everywhere. Her really fun prints make her a household name. She walks out at the beginning of the show and says (in her German accent):

"So, I didn't win on Project Runway. Second is good. They told me to move to New York, that they were tired of Miami. Miami and the Florida lifestyle are who I am. So, here I am with celebrity orders and women flocking to stores to buy my dresses. Hey, Michael Korrs! This ain't New York!"

11. Michael Knight returns as a guest judge and challenges the designers to "Make your design the bomb!" One redneck design contestant misunderstands and actually makes a stink bomb. He is aufed.

12. Finally, Laura has her baby and Tim runs out in his Georgio Armani scrubs and says, "I have an announcement to make. It's a boy! And his name is not Jeffrey or Vincent."

13. The viewers choose the winner of the final 3 (or final 4.) Period. We are the ones buying the clothes, right?