Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Dear Loose Tooth,

Hi. It's me. Her mom. I need to talk to you.

You've been good to us over the years. You helped her with her very first ear of corn, her apples, her popsicles. We are thankful for that. We are.

But frankly, it's time for you to go.

This may sound a little harsh, but we don't need you anymore. She's got bigger, stronger teeth in her future. Sure, you're cute. You're little. You're familiar. But, lately? Well, you've been kind of a pain.

You just keep holding on, no matter how hard she tries to pull you free. She keeps wiggling and wiggling, twisting and tugging and still you won't budge. And that dangle thing you've been doing lately is borderline disgusting.

Your friends have all left without any trouble at all. When it came their turn, sure they held on a little while, but eventually they just let go.

I feel a little uncomfortable talking to you, but I figure you must have some issues or you would have left a long time ago. Is it insecurity? Detachment disorder? Are you afraid of fairies? Come on. Talk to me. I'm here. I won't judge you.

I have to be honest with you. You don't have much more time. My patience is wearing thin. If you don't let go soon, well, fairies will be the least of your worries, Mister.

So. Let. It. Go.

Be free. I've got a roll of quarters just waiting.

Sincerely,
Her Mom

6 comments:

Nancy said...

That dangle thing makes me find someone braver than me to pull it out. Hubby or some brave teacher or neighbor. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

You're killin' me. Very soon though, I may be writing the same letter as my little man has a wiggly tooth himself...

Tammy said...

ROLF! Love it...

And you give whole roles of quarters??? No wonder she's trying to yank that toofie out! LOL

Southern Girl said...

My mom used to sneak after my brother and I had gone to sleep and unscrew our loose teeth. Yes, she literally twisted, or "unscrewed," them until they popped out. I don't think either one of us ever woke up either. *g*

Anonymous said...

you are too much!

Anonymous said...

My seven-year-old has lost both of her two front teeth in the last two weeks. I did the thing where you get dental floss way up high behind the tooth and then cross it and pull in the front. One of the teeth popped out and hit me in the face.