Sunday, July 01, 2007

It's time for a new do.

I have not had my hair properly cut and colored for oh, maybe two months or more. EEEKK! I have tried to prolong the inevitable with the clippy, the headband (not the best choice for a forehead the size of Texas), and the natural look.

I'm Southern. We don't do the natural look. From our early years, we are told that beauty is within. We've accepted the harsh reality that beauty is not natural and we've perfected the use of powder, lipstick, perms, hairspray, nail polish, and peroxide. Errr... are there any carcinogens I've left out?

This morning I was getting ready for church, trying to tame what was once a pretty sassy, textured bob. I used the curling iron (a staple in my house) to carefully smooth down what had been textured ends and is now just a big ole' mess. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that I looked like this woman.

But thankfully, not quite like this woman.

I admire Joyce Brothers, if not for her advice, for her impeccable skill of maintaining the same hairstyle since, well, just since. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she must be Southern. Southern women have perfected the ability to keep a hairdo in place for an entire week, between the Friday Wash and Style. Dr. Brothers has managed to keep her hair in place for decades.

Dear Dr. Brothers,

Would you please give me some advice?

What kind of Aqua Net are you using?

A woman who is calling for a hair appointment tomorrow


Anonymous said...

Oh, I hear ya! I've been trying the natural look for a while now & I've never felt so homely. It's definitely a Southern thing!

I think I'm going to take my jars of pennies to the Coinstar and see if I can't scrape enough together for some highlights!

Grafted Branch @ Restoring the Years said...

You didn't say, but is the second one Hillary? She was kinda pretty when she was happy to be a woman.

*gasp* Did I just think that out loud? lol.