Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Call me Posh.

The other night, we were at Red Lobster waiting on my freshly frozen flounder fillets (how's that for alliteration?) and snacking on some garlic cheese biscuits.

Somehow, oddly enough for us, we wandered down a path of weird conversation. Most of the time we are talking the DOW and Global Warming and all that jazz.

Yeah, right.

So, anyway.

We started talking about getting old. I said that only mean people live a long time. Mean and crazy people. Meanness keeps the heart pumping and the blood flowing. So, really, the people who are living to 100 are probably cranky as well as old.

Just a theory.

And really, when it comes time to plan the party for 101, Ole Mrs. Crank's relatives are sitting around, rolling their eyes and saying, "Well, we've gotta plan another party. What are we gonna do this year?"

"I dunno. We'd better get her cake from Publix because she did not like that cake from Wal-mart last year. She said it was too sweet and would run up her blood sugar."

Then everyone pitches in for a donation to the church because, what do you buy a woman who has one foot in the grave and the other in the bingo parlor?

At this point we are on our salads.

Hubs piped up and said that youth is wasted on the young. Then he turned to our daughter and said,"I would bet that most people, no matter how long they lived, wished they had more time or wished they had done something different."

"I disagree," I said while munching stale croutons, "I think that most people are happy with their lives."

"So," I prodded, "what would you do differently?"

He thought for a moment and said,"I would have practiced my sports more."

(Huh?)

My husband is not into sports. He is athletic, but does not watch sports on TV, does not keep up with pro teams, and doesn't really take an interest in any sport except for soccer.

He went on to say that he would have practiced his soccer more just to be better. I knew what he meant but I couldn't help myself from saying the following.

"So, do you think you would have been David Beckham?" I said jokingly.

"Maybe."

"Well, I'm sorry you're not sitting across from Victoria Beckham right now."

"Like I said, I should have practiced my soccer more..." he said with a wink.

Touche'