Thursday, October 02, 2008

Talk to the hand, 'cause the lapel pin ain't listenin.'

Y'all know I love politics. I love elections, campaign tactics, and the blessed democratic process.

Rumor has it that I have a box filled with tiny chads tucked away under my bed.

Ahem.

But I do not like, I loathe, OKAY, I hate debates.

There. I said it.

I'm sitting here right now listening to the Vice Presidential debate because I do love me some politics. Enough to suffer through the blah, blah, blah of debate.

And I do mean blah.

While listening to the dullness of it all, I've figured out that it is not the debate I dislike.

It's the format.

What I'd love to see is two candidates debate like normal people. You know, like you "debated" that kid on the playground or that girl in high school who was on the cheerleader squad.

THAT would be entertaining.

And it would go something like this.

"Your running mate is a liar."

"Nuh-uhhh!"

"Yes, huh! Liar-liar. Pants on fire."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"I can run the country better than you!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-huh!"

"I dare you to make me come over there!"

"I double dare you. I double dog dare you."

"I would come over there, but this podium is in the way."

"Then move the podium, big mouth!"

"I can move this podium if I wanted to, but I don't want to."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yes-huh!"

Then somebody says something about somebody's mama and they go to commercial.

Now that's more exciting than any hanging chad.

8 comments:

happygeek said...

You think that's dull?
We had our only national leaders debate tonight (with all 5 leaders) and after 30 minutes my husband asked me to turn on the US debate. PLEASE. Because he was about to fall over from boredom.
I do like your idea of debate MUCH better however.

Jana said...

i so agree with the playground rules format... not sure what would be accomplished, but it would definitely be more interesting!

Shannon @ Rocks In My Dryer said...

Honestly? I didn't think last night's debate was that much more compelling than your fake one!

Susanne said...

Yeah that sounds about how the Canadian leader's debate went the other night. One called one a name and then it went from there. Well, maybe not the cheerleader and mama thing but close. LOL.

I hate the debates too. I hate when instead of debating the issue they resort to name calling and putting down instead of getting into their platforms and what I need to decide who to vote for. I hate having to decide on the basis of who called who better names. Oh did I mention we're going to the polls on the 14th?

Jules from "The Roost" said...

I will be SO glad when it is all over! :)

katemcdonald said...

I am happy I stumbled across your blog, because I too love elections and I too am so unenamored with the "debates". I tried to be into it, but I ended up switching the channel during the commericals- you know, just to see what else was on. *grin*

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Your cat comment cracked me up. And guess what? Just today i was thinking about Maggie the Cat, when it hit me: That's what they called Elizabeth Taylor in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, right? So did you name your cat after that character? I am feeling like a genius here.

Roxanne said...

Isn't that how it went???? Except for the momma part.