Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The Toothbrush 1 Out Of 5 Dentists Prefer

My husband is a letter writer.

If ever there is poor customer service, substandard product, or general injustices in the world, he writes a letter. It's the principle of the thing. If a company stands on 100% customer satisfaction and we are only 70% satisfied, my husband will contact them.

His letters are always well written, logical, and devoid of hysterical emotion. Much different from any letter I would write.

Which is why his letters get results.

Truly, he believes that if you will take the time to let a business know about a problem, they may in fact attempt to fix it. And your letter might just help them repair a problem they otherwise did not know existed.

Again. Principle.

Desperate for a transitional phrase here.

Every year we put new toothbrushes in each other's stockings. It's tradition. Along with an orange in the toe.

Well, the second time Hubs used his new toothbrush, it nearly broke in half. That's some serious brushing.

So he sat down at the computer a few days ago to send a nice email to a certain toothbrush company about his toothbrush. We can go out a buy another one, and believe me, we did. It's not a car or an expensive appliance.

But, again. Principle. Plus, this is how recalls begin.

Hubs found a certain toothbrush company's website and began to write an email. I sat beside him, looking over his shoulder like a good, respectful wife should.

He began to write:

"I received a (fill in the blank) toothbrush for Christmas and it broke..."

I interrupted like a good, respectful wife should.

"Whoa, you can't write that! It sounds pathetic. You got a toothbrush for Christmas and then it broke? They will either think you're making it up or you are pitiful and have no friends or family and all you got for Christmas is a toothbrush! They'll send you a whole case of toothbrushes!"

And then we started joking about an alternative email which would go like this...

"My wife gave me a toothbrush for Christmas and then it broke. Now, I can't do my wuuurk (in Fred Willard's voice) and my wife has put me on the couch because my breath is bad since I can't brush my teeth... and I've missed two job interviews."

Much laughter ensues.

Backspace. Delete.

"I recently purchased a (fill in the blank) toothbrush. Add more boring and logical writing."

More laughter and Fred Willard jokes.

Really. We should get out more.

And, we would if he would just brush his teeth.



Sarah W. said...

Your husband is a man after my own heart. I am a letter writer, as well. Never nasty. I am sure you know this, but for those who are not letter writers, you would be surprised how companies respond. Some don't, but most do.

My husband pokes fun at me for this, but fairness is really important to me, I guess.

However, when I do not get what I desire, then I just let it go....and let myself be cheated (as Jesus said). I do not slander a company or anything.

Susanne said...

*snort* that is funny. I think you should send the funny one and if they do send you a case, you have stocking stuffer for the next 12 years. :vD

Roxanne said...

Waaaahhhh hooooppppened?

Hillary Dunham said...

That IS hard core brushing! Hilarious!

Ann said...

It's amazing the humor that we find while living in a small town, huh? Kinding!! That was so funny, I sat here laughing and dh wanted to know what was so funny. I told him a toothbrush, and he just looked at me like I was looney!