Friday, August 03, 2007

It's a creepy, crawly kind of strength, really.

In the midst of raising butterflies and fighting biting flies, we have had a time trying to get rid of a family of small, yet largely irritating insects.

Sugar Ants.

Their name is quite misleading. They aren't always in in the sugar and they certainly aren't sweet. Sugar Ants. It makes you think of something sweet and darling, something you may even want to cuddle with on the couch and watch a Disney movie.

Instead of something you want to smash to smithereens and scream, "DIE! You tiny, syrup- stealing, suckers! DIE!"

I really hate violence.

So I called The Man. The one I really dread to have to call, but always look forward to seeing. He has saved my pantry and my sanity on many, many occasions. He may not wear a cape, but he is my hero. He is- The Bug Man. I have never referred to him as the Exterminator, because that just seems so extreme and Arnold Schwartzanneger-y.

"Maa-REE-uh, I'm going to destroy the earwigs and then I'll be bahhhk."

Before making the call, or sending out The Bug Signal, I tried to rely on my own strength. I tried all of the little home remedies of killing sugar ants. I sprayed Windex, hoping the ammonia would kill them or, at the very least, make them suffer from little sugar ant hangovers. I tried things the old-fashioned way. I smooshed them with my pointer finger.

Still. The teeny army marched on.

So today The Bug Man came. He saw. He conquered. He left bait for the little critters to innocently eat and then take home in little doggie bags and share with their little families, thereby poisoning them all.

It's a microcosm of Jonestown within my kitchen walls.

As I type, they are snacking on the stuff. I can almost hear their tiny voices saying,"Mommy, the syrup on my pancakes tastes funny. I think it went bad."

There's just nothing like the neuro-toxic strength of a man in khaki green with a cannister and a spray gun. For all of the crawling, disease-carrying, annoying bugs everywhere, he IS the party pooper.

Asta la Vista, baby.

6 comments:

Susanne said...

Does he do all things striped black and yellow 'cause they are everywhere here and he'd soon be my hero too if he could get rid of those.

Laane said...

You must feel so releived!

This year it hasn't been so bad here with mosquitos.
But there are spiders everywhere. A month earlier than other years. Ugh.

Our Family of Five said...

I've not encountered the ants here but the spiders.......ick! We just moved and when I saw the third spider in two days, we called The Man as well! Blessings, Lynn.

Tam said...

I have a very unhealthy and extreme ant phobia! I HATE them! I can HEAR one crawl in the house!

Good luck with that!

April said...

I've also tried every combo if things to get rid of these pests - to no avail. Even after the bug man comes and leaves his treats for them - they are still around. Luckily, we only get them for about a 6 week period of time in the H-E-A-T of the summer when they are looking for water. I just can't stand putting out something that ATTRACTS them (even though I know in the end they die) - it's like a party where they all bring friends - and that's too much for me to watch - even with their impending death. Die ants die!

Linda said...

OHMYGOSH, are these tiny, tiny little ants? We had some in the condo in FL, and the real estate guy said that that's just a Florida thing. I mean, are they barely there noticeable?