Friday, December 12, 2008

Life Lesson # 357

When you are in a hurry and have to pick up your child from school, never get in line behind two twenty-something young men at Wal-mart.

They do not understand the logistics of Wal-mart shopping.

Because I like to do my civic duty and all, I thought I'd share these logistical rules which are etched in a plaque somewhere in Bentonville, Arkansas.

First. Unload your cart in a timely manner. There are moms behind you in line who are in a hurry and should have gotten in line 10 minutes ago.

Second. Once you've unloaded all of the Hot Pockets and Ramen noodles, move out of the way and please put down a divider so that the mom behind you can unload her cart which is totally void of Hot Pockets and Ramen noodles but may include Lean Cuisines and a prescription of Xanax she just filled at the pharmacy. (Lucky you. She popped one about 30 minutes ago.)

Third. Please- for the love of Sam Walton and all things decent and holy- do not hash out who is paying for what using several credit cards, gift cards and whatever else you can find.

Fourth. Once you've paid, please get your stuff, put it in the cart, and let the cashier serve the next customer, which is in fact me, the mom who should have gotten in line 10 minutes ago.

This is a friendly lesson from a mother on a mission. Oh, and one day you will lose your taste for Ramen noodles.

Trust me.


Roxanne said...

"for the love of Sam Walton" cracked me up. . .

AND ditto on the Ramen noodles. My kids LOVE THEM. My husband STILL loves them. I cannot bear to think of tasting them.


Susanne said...

LOL. Too funny. Good thing that mom popped that Xanax. I think my Walmart needs that plaque blown up and placed front and center.