Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My Love/Hate Relationship With Reality TV

I realized while talking to a friend the other day, that I have issues.

Granted, I knew before that I had issues, but this conversation revealed an entirely new one to add to the long, disturbing list.

I really do not like Reality TV.

With one exception being The Amazing Race, you could name any reality TV show here and I would find something wrong with it. It gets on my nerves. It is so staged. The people are not really real.

OK. They are real in the sense they that are upright and breathing, but other than that, they are not real. Seriously, have any of the contestants on The Bachelor served as committee chairperson for the bake sale?

I don't think so.

Which is probably why none of them are married yet. (The way to a man's heart is through a good bundt cake, or something like that.)

American Idol? I can take it or leave it. I like music and love the idea of someone's dream coming true, whether they are forced to drive a Ford or drink Coca Cola for the rest of their lives or not.

Give me a good drama, a really good drama and I am stuck in front of the tube for a solid hour, or a solid two hours, if it is a special presentation. Add in a conspiracy theory, some government agents and the American flag, and you may as well just hook up that Neilson's ratings box.

I am an X Files geek. I loved Alias. I love 24. Reality TV is so fake but the Smoking Man and Jack Bauer's superhero powers are believable. Hello.

Only Days of Our Lives could top the drama. I haven't watched it in years because it is, you know, a bit on the trashy side, but Days had me hooked in college. I can't wrap my mind around people surviving on an island without Starbucks or good soap, but everyone knows the Brady family can survive anything. (That Victor is so smug!)

24, on the other hand, is starting to make me doubt my entertainment choices. I watched it this afternoon on the wonder of the DVR. I was almost as disappointed in my 40 minute investment (fast forward thru commercials) as I am in that Roth IRA I own that is in the tank.

Not disappointed enough to stop watching, mind you. But I have a few things to say.

First of all, Agent Walker is still wearing that bandage from the bullet that grazed her neck. Would someone pause during the car chase and check that wound for her? Thankyouverymuch.

The whole infiltration of The White House? Puh-lease.

My husband is going to love this- Yes, honey. I am agreeing with you. No one's cell phone ever needs charging. Ever.

And Jack? When you are chasing bad men and tazing traitors, it's OK to take off your tie. I'm just sayin.'

The only thing left to happen on 24 is for Jack Bauer to suddenly marry Marlena, revealing that he is the real Roman, unraveling yet another DiMera conspiracy.

Now that's reality TV.


kris said...

Oh My GOSH! This is so me!! Love it and I am so over Reality TV, except for the Amazing Race of course, but I wasted 6 weeks on the Bachelor, never again! I do love me some Jack though! Thanks for the laugh!

Kimberly said...

You crack me up! He probably is the real Roman :)

TexasRed said...

I'm not a fan of reality TV unless it's on the Food Network or TLC. Less contests and more cooking / breaking stuff!

Susanne said...

You are so funny. I was hooked on Days during my younger adult life too. Haven't watched in years and years yet I knew exactly what you were talking about. Some things just never change, especially with the Brady's. LOL.

P.S. I looooove the Amazing Race but am so disgusted my fave couple is off already due to the shenanigans of a certain young man and his mother. Bummer.

Carol said...

I love 24, too! I've wondered about the whole cell phone battery thing. Then I realized that my cell phone can go for a couple of days without recharging as long as I don't use it to surf the 'net too much. Or let my kids use it to play games for hours on end. So, they should be able to keep theirs going for 24 hours' worth of super-short calls to say "Copy that!"

Hey! Y'gotta keep it real.

Prabath said...

Cool post, I like it. Keep it up.

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Is Days the one where she was demon-possessed?? That scared me to see the commercials. I was a GH fan in high school. I would never have believed that I would watch reality shows, but I do, I do. I even love "Wife Swap," where moms go live with another family for a while. But as you know, I'm also into LOST. Gee, that sounds like a lot of TV, doesn't it. Hmmm.

Mary said...

Oh my - you have got to be the funniest blogger out there. I have bookmarked you - a fan already after 1 read.