Monday, September 03, 2007

Mom VS. Survivorman

Survivorman- Battling flesh-eating bacteria

Mom- Cleaning the family bathroom

Survivorman- Seven sleepless nights in the Rain Forest

Mom- Countless sleepless nights of ear infections, strep throat and worrying "Why hasn't she come home yet?"

Survivorman- Charred scorpions for dinner

Mom- Happy Meal leftovers

Survivorman- Days without basic hygiene

Mom- Days after bringing home baby- When did I last take a shower?

Survivorman- Making a shelter out of palm branches and 2 ft. of twine

Mom- Making a fort out of the couch, Daddy's chair and a really big quilt

Survivorman- Starting a fire with the wax from an old piece of chocolate, an old soda can, and a ray of sunlight

Mom- Putting out fires left and right

Survivorman- Looking for food in the jungle while evading cannibalistic natives

Mom- Grocery shopping with the kids

Survivorman- Trekking across snow and ice in Canada and giving his one leftover piece of Carabou carcass to the team of biting, growling sled dogs.

Mom- Hauling the kids in the van to the park and giving up her sweater to the kid who refused to wear his jacket because "It's not cold, Mom!"

Survivorman- Squashing bugs

Mom- Squashing bugs

Survivorman- Eating squashed bugs

Mom- Stopping kid from eating squashed bugs

Survivorman- *No food, no shelter, no fresh water, no tools... no camera crew.
One man - alone in the wild for seven days with only his wits and stamina to sustain him.

Mom- No food without cartoon characters, no juice without cellophane wrapped straws, no time to camera crew (thank goodness!)
One woman- alone, at home or in the mall, or the doctor's office or at school or in line at the DMV, for 18 years with only the advice of half-witted friends and neurotic relatives with good intentions and a cup of stale, cold coffee to sustain her.

*Quote from the Survivorman website


Kelli said...

I do declare that Survivorman has nothin' on us.

ValleyGirl said...

Hahaha, that's too funny!! Seriously, let's see how well that guy does in OUR territory by himself for a week!!!! Cannibals are nothing compared to hungry, over-tired toddlers!

Dreama said...

This is great! Survivorman has nothing on MOMS!!

Susanne said...

We can go toe to toe with Survivorman anyday! Well, maybe except when it comes to eating bugs. I might have a problem with that. ;v)

Very fun, creative post!

Roxanne said...

Excellent comparisons!

Laurel Wreath said...


Linda said...

Melanie--SERIOUSLY--you need to be published. this is hilarious!