Good, clean, grass-stained fun.

Somewhere in my neighborhood yesterday, a perfectly sane woman was inside her air-conditioned home watching HGTV and drinking Diet Coke because it was hot as blue blazes outside.

Then she called her friend on the phone and told her about the crazy woman down the street who was mowing her lawn on one of the hottest days of the summer so far.

Um, that was me. The crazy one.

I realize that it was absurd and beyond all reason to be outside in the scorching heat, but the new mower, it was calling me.

That's right. I said NEW mower.

Last summer my husband was away with work and I was left with yard duty. We could have hired someone and, in fact, the kid next door did a fine job mowing the front yard. All I had to do was mow the back.

With a push mower.

My neighbors were amazed. The other wives who sometimes mow their lawns could not believe that my mower was without power. In essence, folks, I was powerless.

Two of the neighbors nearly forced their self-propelled Cadillac mowers on me.

The difference between a push mower and a self-propelled mower was amazing. It was like going your whole life without Cool Whip on your dessert and then some sweet, old aunt tops your pumpkin pie with fluffy goodness one Thanksgiving and your life will never be the same.

If you are scratching your head or chuckling, perhaps you've never had to mow with a push mower.

Let me explain it to you. A push mower is just one step above Amish.

No offense to the Amish. I love their quilts.

Seriously, I can relate to the Amish. I know what it's like to be picked on; I'm baptist. People still think we don't dance.

Hello. Have you never been to our Vacation Bible Schools? Have you not seen the cool hand motions? It's crazy fun. Crazy, I tell ya. We just don't swing our hips or shake our fannies.

At least, not at church. Wink. Wink.

Anyhoo.

A few weeks ago, my husband was mowing the backyard when I heard the mower abruptly go silent.

He came inside and said, "The mower is kaput. I hit a stump or something."

Y'all, I was elated. I knew this meant that we were getting a new mower. (I know. I need to get out more.)

We headed to Lowe's that afternoon and discussed the self-propelled option. I told him about how wonderful it was and how much he would love it. I didn't use the Cool Whip analogy, although it would have been useful at the time.

The difference in price between the push mower and the self-propelled mower was a mere thirty bucks.

I, of course, asked if I was worth thirty bucks.

He, of course, paused to think about it.

It's a good thing I am confident in our relationship.

In the end, we bought the self-propelled mower. I was tickled to death. (I know. I know. My own husband thinks I need to get out more.)

So, yesterday, I was looking at the blades of grass which touched the sky, and the mower called me from the shed. Or maybe I was hallucinating from the heat.

Either way, I mowed the yard with the self-propelled mower and it was easy as pumpkin pie with Cool Whip. In fact, I almost wanted to dance.

Shhh... don't tell the deacons.