Can I just say that Shannon has made the coolest header for Works For Me Wednesday? Please visit her blog for more great tips.

Simple Christmas Project:

Every year I buy Christmas cards, write a note of encouragement, and just address it to a special person. I have given them to homeless people, the kids at a children's home, or anyone I happen to feel may need a smile. Last year, I ended up in the hospital on Christmas Eve and gave them to the staff!

I pray while I write them and ask God to give me the right words, and that He would help me give them to the right person. When I gave a card to a nurse during my hospital stay, she later came back to my room and said,"What you wrote was so true. Thank you." I didn't tell her that I had written that card days earlier, when I had no idea I would end up in the hospital! God is Good. :>)

My mom has a much larger Christmas card ministry. She starts at the beginning of the year, and she buys her cards on sale. This year she has written over 500 cards! Most of her cards go to the VA hospital, the Youth Detention Center, or to the local prison.

Cards are a great and inexpensive way to reach out to people. You would be surprised at what a card can mean to someone.

My Little Life Lessons for the Day

Lesson #1:

Whenever you pull into Hardee's drive thru because you are craving their biscuit and gravy, be on the look-out for who is in front of you. If at any time, you see the Super Septic Tank Specialist truck parked next to the restaurant, you can bet it isn't a good sign. Another clue is when the driver gets out of his truck, waves everyone around, walks up to the entrance of the restaurant and knocks on the locked door because the "Lobby Is Closed Until Further Notice."

It also becomes apparent to you that other people can somehow ignore the fact that there is some sort of reason the lobby is closed and the septic guy has stopped at Hardee's for reasons other than a sausage biscuit or a 3 inch thick burger, you know, because perhaps the entire restaurant is flooded with foul substances that would kill most appetites. Or make one heave and retch. Good ole N and V. (That's nausea and vomiting to you newcomers.)

You also learn that the Health Department allows the restaurant to continue serving food, albeit on a limited drive thru basis, even though there is a foul substance erupting from toilets where even gravity has lost its influence. You wonder, "At what level of communicable diseased disgust does the health inspector shut the place down- ankle or knee deep?"

Lesson #2:

After laying rubber on the road, you head to the next fast food restaurant, the one that prides itself on not selling beef. AHEM.

Let's just say, um, their coffee and biscuits? Well, they should stick with chicken.

Lesson # 3:

After a heavy helping of nausea and a side of disappointment, you pour out your coffee and go to Wal-mart. This is when you realize one of life's greatest lessons- Never, I say never go anywhere, even to Wal-mart without make-up. (Didn't your grandmother teach you anything?) The cashier may in fact comment on the cute toy you have purchased and ask you if your granddaughter likes them. Oh, yes she did. She later looks up, gets a good look at either your fair as snow skin or the look of disdain across your not-so rosy cheeks. She then will correct her comment and say "I mean your daughter," but alas it is too late. You are scarred for life, or at least until you can get to your make-up bag at home.

Lesson #4:

You realize that the UPS guy may have done more work before 8:00 AM than you have done all day, but you have learned more before 10:00 AM than most folks will learn in a lifetime.

Or maybe not. But it sounded profound and a good ending to an otherwise uninspiring post.

Tuesdays Transformed

Whatever Happened To Bug-Off Jeans?

We haven't even reached the tween years and it has appeared that fashion has taken over our humble abode. If it ain't pink and shiny, well then, it just ain't happenin'.

Our daughter loves the bling. Modesty is a priority at our house, so the fashionable fluff is taken in moderation. She has learned our standard of modesty and what it means to act like a lady. At this point, at least, she has also embraced it- a little too much, perhaps. She not only recognizes what is appropriate for her to wear, but likes to point out rather loudly what is inappropriate for others to wear.

Moments at the convenience store counter go something like this- Yes, honey, I see that belly button ring... I have no idea why that lady got a belly button ring, but that doesn't make her a bad person; that is her choice... I just don't want you to get one... no, I don't want one either...yes, you can have some M & M's if it means your mouth will be full of chocolate...

And, can I say muffin tops and midriffs have turned into entire sermon length editorials. Oh where does she get this stuff?

Ahem...

As much as I am thankful for modesty being embraced at our house, I am also deeply disturbed at how fashion has become a focus for our daughter. It doesn't matter to her if it is a designer brand or if it is from Wal-mart. It also doesn't matter if the clothing item has graced the covers of any fashion magazines. What matters is if she thinks it is in fashion. She doesn't care about other people's fashion. She only cares about her own wardrobe. She would absolutely take up for any child who was teased about their clothes. She just wants to have her own sense of style at her ripe old elementary school age.

When I was a kid all I cared about was if my Garanimals matched each other. The worse possible fashion faux paus that could be committed was if I wore a giraffe shirt with a zebra skirt. Or maybe if my corduroy pant cuffs collected dirt from the playground. I had no idea what was in fashion and I really didn't care. Of course, it was the 70's. I should probably be grateful that I was not in style wearing bell bottom pants and collars that could poke your playmate in the eye.

I make an effort not to emphasize styles and trends with my daughter and we do monitor television in our home. Nevertheless, our daughter is influenced by this intense focus on fashion and trends. I do think that part of her interest in finding her own style is an effort to express herself. (I just wish she would color me a picture and put it on the frig.!)

She is a very sweet girl and loves Jesus with all of her heart. She is just going to have to balance style with sensibility- a lesson all of us need to learn. In the meantime, we will stress the importance of beauty on the inside, that those treasures stored in the closet will only attract moths, but those stored in heaven will endure for eternity. We'll tell her the importance of being beautiful in God's Eyes.

We'll keep teaching her about modesty and moderation.

And muffin tops.

We're back. And the natives are restless.

So, we are back from our trip to Georgia and I would love to share. I'll have to post about it later because right now my husband is heckling all of the gadgets in the Williams-Sonoma catalog.
I keep hearing things like this:

"Melanie, are we out of Himalayan pink salt? Please don't tell me we're out of Himalayan pink salt."

You can see how organized, coherent narratives are just not possible at this juncture. I'll be back later when the house is at least at a dull roar...

Tuesdays Transformed

Shine or Whine?

"And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." 2 Corninthians 4:3-5

Thanksgiving is almost here. Many of us are in the kitchen baking pies and breads, sprucing up the house, getting ready for company, or packing our bags to visit relatives out of town. For most of us, Thanksgiving is a time of sharing with family and friends and enjoying delicious, traditional food. It is also a time for the biggest shopping day in the United States- Black Friday.

Black Friday is the day retailers across America are no longer in "the red," ringing up profit totals that are astronomical. Many stores open as early as 6:00 AM and these opening times seem to get earlier every year. People gather outside of malls and shopping centers before the doors open, sipping hot coffee and drooling at the discounts that await them inside. A lot, if not most, of these shoppers are women.

Did you read that? A lot of these shoppers are women. Imagine the consumer power that gives us, ladies. I won't go into what we should buy, what we shouldn't buy, what stores to shop, and which stores to boycott. That would be dipping into the pool of legalism. And, frankly, swimming in the pool of legalism will leave you breathless as you try to keep your head above water. (I am so thankful for Grace, aren't you?)

Everyone has to decide which clothing they will buy or which store they will patron. Those decisions are between them and The Lord. One thing we can all remember is that we are to be a Light for Christ amid the madness.

It's hard to be a light when the lady behind you keeps grumbling about the line, or the woman in Wal-mart nearly knocked you down while you reached for a TMX Elmo (that is just an example. It will never happen. All of the TMX Elmo's are gone.) It is very difficult to shine when you get to the register and the sale item rings up at regular price. Never mind that the clerk doesn't believe you and she takes what seems like forever (while the lady behind you grumbles) to look up the price in the sale circular.

I really want to shine, Lord. I do.

When my daughter starts to complain that she is tired and hungry and all I want to do is scream, "CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR A HAPPY MEAL?!" I really want to shine.

When the store management refuses to acknowledge Christmas in their display or allow their employees to wish me a Merry Christmas, I really want to shine. It is hard to shine while you are indignantly complaining to middle management.

I want to shine for You, Lord. I do.

Help me remember that the clerk was already at work while I was crawling out of bed this morning. She has been barked at by rude customers at least a hundred times before it was even my turn in line. She has neither the desire nor the responsibility to memorize every single sale item in this store. Lord, give me the encouraging words You would have me say to her this morning. Give me a smile, Lord, because right now the humanness in me does not feel like smiling.

Lord, remind me that the lady behind me in line is human, just like me. She may be a believer. She may be lost. Help me to be kind and patient.

God, I have no idea why that lady nearly trampled me while I was simply trying to buy the most popular toy of the season. In any case, help me forgive her, brush off the dust from my knees and hold pressure on the head wound she gave me. Help me love her, because I sure can't do it on my own.

Lord, I understand why retailers are hesitant to display any religion in this over sensitive, politically correct world. Help me to express my faith and conviction in love, but to hold my ground and stand for what is right in Your Eyes. Help me to know the difference between conviction and judgementalism. I never want to be a stumbling block.

Lord, when my daughter is tired and hungry from a long day of shopping, help me remember that she is part of the reason I am out here in the madness. And maybe Mommy needs a Happy Meal, too.

God, help me make wise choices while shopping, to be a good steward of what you have given me. Help me to understand that the purchases I make may have a profound impact on what retailers choose to sell in the future.

Lord, I want to Shine for You this Thanksgiving and every other day. Help me. Guide me. Teach me. Help me Shine!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. Have a safe and happy time wherever you are.

In Christ,

If She Only Knew...

More conversation while riding in the car-

Me- "I mailed a picture of you sleeping with your stuffed animals to MeMama and Aunt Barbara."

My daughter- "OH MY GOSH! It's like I'm all over the internet!"

Construction Update

Here is the latest on the local construction site:

Observations This Week-

1. One man was measuring a manhole with a yellow tape measure. Five other men watched him. One man then kicked something that looked like it could be important.

2. There is a new guy going through the secret construction worker initiation- He is now holding the Slow sign.

3. They have posted a new speeding sign. The one that reads "Speeding Fines Doubled When Workers Present." If I get pulled over, I think I should ask for a discount.

4. Two men were shoveling a dirt pile that was about 30 or so feet high by hand. It seems that this project is going to take a lot longer than we thought.

Freaky Friday

I woke up this morning to a little girl who wanted her bowl of apple crisp oatmeal, a big fat cat who wanted her morning attention, and the most excruciating pain above my right eye. I rolled over to try and ignore it all, you know like a good mother does. But, the pain. Oh, the pain! And the headache was pretty bad, too.

Through this morning stupor, I realized the source of this incredible, throbbing pain. It seems that Bin Laden is hiding out in my sinus cavity. Call the CIA, the FBI, the NSA, the USAF, the USMC, and all of those other important letter groups. I have solved the mystery. Osama has been located and I have just sprayed him with saline solution and drugged him with some Advil Cold and Sinus gel caps. Hey, it ain't mace. But, it's all I've got.

Send in support soon. This stuff only lasts 4-6 hours.

Get the flashlight. I feel a drizzle.

Storms are sweeping across the South this week. I can bet you that the majority of the folks affected are either glued to their television screens or listening to weather radios. It's just what we do. Most of us in the Deep South don't see snow, much less blizzards. But we do take a tornado, hurricane or even a severe thunderstorm very seriously. Rightly so, considering the damage they cause.

At any given time during the day, you could walk in my grandmother's living room and find her television on. It was playing one of two channels- CMT or The Weather Channel. That's it. So, you either had to absolutely love Garth Brooks or Jim Cantore.

If I called Granny or Papa they would always tell me the weather at their house. Then they would ask me the weather at my house. It didn't really matter where I was living- across the country in the southwestern United States or just a 45 minute drive away. This information was vitally important to the conversation.

Growing up, I can remember little rules of the weather- "Get off the phone when it is lightning. Don't stand too close to a window. Get out of the bathtub, Melanie. I think I hear thunder."

I remember our school going through tornado drills. One afternoon a tornado touched down nearby.

I was actually a little excited about it. "Cool. A real tornado. We don't have to curl up in a ball on our knees and just pretend."

Hey! I was a naive little kid. I had no idea what those storms could really do. My only exposure to twisters involved a tin man and a cute little dog.

With all of this serious weather hypersensitivity, it stands to reason why my own mama would react the way she did one day last year on a "severe weather conditions" evening.

Severe thunderstorms were threatening the area. Mama and Daddy had been watching the weather all evening. (Surprised?) Let me repeat that- the weather was threatening the area. It had not actually arrived to the area to follow through on the threat. Which makes me wonder: Does the storm send a note to the weatherman outlining the threat with some demands or does it just call him and hang up the phone?

I digress in a post, yet again.

So, there was Daddy watching Wheel of Fortune in his recliner, with the severe weather banner running across the bottom of the screen.

While Mama was seeking shelter in the safest part of the house.

Mama has arthritic knees (hence my daughter's comment on "the poopy walk"). So, being the resourceful person she is, Mama got a dining room chair to sit in while she waited for the impending storm that had not arrived. She pulled the chair in the hallway, away from all doors and windows.

Daddy was still in the recliner watching television. Ya know, because the power and the cable were still on.

Then Mama went in her room and put on some decent clothes, "because a woman does not want to go through a tornado or a bad storm and end up on Channel 10 News in some old house clothes." (Her words, not mine.) Then she put on a little make-up, the really crucial items, blush and lipstick. Mama made sure she was wearing her wedding rings, and then she sat in the chair in the hallway and waited.

While Daddy watched Pat Sajak.

Then Mama realized she had forgotten something. She hopped up and went back in her room to find it. Once she found it, she got back in her chair in the hallway and sat it on her lap, clutching it to her chest, the most important possession for every Southern woman- her purse.

And she waited. And waited. And waited.

And nothing happened.

While Daddy watched Millionaire.

And that, my friends, was the night that the lights almost went out in Georgia.

Announcing...

Tuesdays Transformed

at
This Ain't New York

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2 NIV

After seeing the Dove film while reading Grafted Branch, I strongly felt led to start a new themed post that you can read here every week called Tuesdays Transformed.

We have seen an evolving (although the word evolve implies improvement) of our culture, especially of women. It is a culture of vanity and immodesty, one of selfish pursuit of pleasure masked in freedom. It is my prayer that, through this weekly post, we can lift each other up in prayer and encouragement as moms, wives, and women.

The plan is to post on subjects pertinent to this downward spiral of false beauty and success. Please check back each Tuesday for information, current events, and words of encouragement that may help you or your kids (for sons and daughters) renew and transform their minds through God's Word and guidance.

If there is something you would like to add or you would like me to post about, please leave a comment and I will try to feature it in an upcoming Tuesdays Transformed post. I hope to have a button soon!

Thanks for reading,

Dove Evolution

Let There Be A Revolution. This is the first of the Tuesdays Transformed, This Ain't New York

It was like my own personal Project Runway, really.

It was the year I became really good friends with Camille. We had known each other since elementary school, but it was in the seventh grade when we bonded. That was the year we took Home Economics.

My mama insisted on it. She was convinced that every girl should take Home Ec in order to learn all of the basic, well, home economical skills a woman needs. Like cooking and doing the laundry.

And sewing.

From what I remember about Home Ec that year, Camille and I didn't really learn anything. We mostly talked about cute boys and clothes, and how big the Home Ec's teacher's head was. Bless her heart. She was a sweet, old woman. She must've been in her late 60's, but I think we thought she was at least in her 80's. She had a sweet little voice to match her tiny frame (and not her big head.)

She never did teach either one of us to sew. For our big sewing test, we had to make a blouse for ourselves. And, get this- we had to actually wear it to school. I remember shopping for fabric with Mama and trying to select something that was inexpensive, but not hideously unfashionable. I ended up with a pink fabric with a tiny floral print. (It looked like something you'd find on an old quilt top.) Look out, Gloria Vanderbilt.

I wore it to school and it was the most uncomfortable top I ever had. I can't remember what Camille's shirt looked like, but I can guess it was some serious ugly, too. We laughed about the whole thing and somehow we made it through the school day. We passed Home Ec, mostly because we were sweet and polite to the teacher. At least we learned something that year.

So, when my daughter came home from school last week and said she would like to dress as a pigeon for her school project, you can see why I would be a little anxious. I don't own a sewing machine, and even if I did, I can't sew. I didn't learn a whole lot in junior high home economics. Unless you count the near professional skill of using a seam ripper.

I am quite skilled at using a glue gun or that near addictive foam. And I have been known to paint some serious Vacation Bible School props. But the pigeon challenge? It was a big one.

After a trip to Michael's and Target, I painstakingly began to attach a feather boa to a grey tunic top. My daughter modeled. I pinned. I even stuck the pins in my mouth like a real seamstress does, squinting my eyes a lot, and yelling "hold still!" It was all quite impressive really. I was beginning to feel pretty good about it.

Even though she looked a lot more like Chicken Little, and not the pigeon from Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus, I was determined to make it work, no matter what. Isn't that what moms do? But, I have to say that I was relieved when I overheard this conversation-

"Well, you have to tell Mommy now. She is working on it right now. Don't wait until she is almost finished."

"But I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"You won't. She needs to know, though. If you really feel that way, just tell her."

Pretending not to hear it, I stopped attaching feathers and casually walked in the room. My daughter then told me, nearly in tears, that she had changed her mind. She didn't want to be a pigeon. She really didn't want to hurt my feelings, because she "knew I had worked so hard on it." After a long talk, she shared that it was turning out to be too fluffy and that, well, she didn't want to be teased by the little boy at her table.

Hey, I may not be able to sew, but I'm not cruel. I'm a girl, too. I can remember what it was like to be in elementary school. I don't want my daughter going to school covered in feathers surrounded by giggling kids. She'll probably need therapy one day as it is; I don't want to add on even more motherhood mistakes.

So, we thought it over together. We laughed about the feathers, and the fact that she was starting to look more like a chicken than a pigeon. And she picked another favorite book and character for her project, Ike from Dear Mrs. LaRue. In case you haven't read it, Ike is a dog. Yes, a cute dog and not a pigeon.

It may not be Laura Ingalls, but it doesn't get much easier than that.

For a girl who can't sew.

Because, to loosely quote Laura from the PR finale, "You just can't pull that kind of craftsmanship out of your hat."

My Cousin Vinny

In honor of the yummy bowl of grits my hubby just made me this morning to soothe this yucky cold I have. And the ongoing cholesterol problem.

Kar-a-TAY, Pirates, and David Hasselhoff

I think we need an intervention.

When my husband and I first married, we spent our Friday nights out to dinner or just tucked in at home watching a movie. We saved movies at the theatre for Saturday matinees because they were, ya know, a lot cheaper. We've never led the most exciting life together. Ok. I admit it. We're boring.

Now that we have a kid, our weekends are just chock full of excitement- Barbie scenarios, trips to the park, and begging, pleading, and gnashing of teeth to clean her room. We still take in a matinee, as long as it is rated G and animated.

Yesterday was the best day ever. And, if you have any idea who Spongebob is, you are now singing those three words and the song is stuck in your head. You can thank me later. :>)

Yesterday was...

THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MARATHON!

And if that weren't enough...

This marathon of sponginess led up to the new episode The Best Day Eeeeeveerrrrr!

And, I know this is getting to be too much for you. But, the best day ever? Well, that wasn't enough either. The day ended in... hold your seahorses...

The network PRE-MIERE of The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.

Ok. Give me a minute. I need to take a breath. I'm better. The post must go on.

We watched Spongebob all day long. Well, not all day. We made sure our daughter had a lot of breaks, long 2-3 hour breaks. We wouldn't want her to lose her eyesight or all of her brain cells. But, when it came time for the final countdown (did you suddenly hear an 80's song?), we sat together, the three of us, yes my husband too, and watched the little yellow guy.

We laughed out loud. Yep, we are lame. But, that's ok. After the much anticipated Best Day Eeeeveerrrr, the movie was equally riveting. The diabolical Plankton was up to his usual evil hijinks while Spongebob and Patrick saved the day. There was even a celebrity cameo by David Hasselhoff. Add in some gummy worms and you've got a real par-TAY!

You gotta love Spongebob. He's little, yellow, different. He's annoying. He needs some new pants!

And, can I say- David Hasselhoff, you are my hero! ;>)

There Will Be Water Ready

The angels of Heaven are rejoicing!

Mommy Dearest's son, Clayton, just joined their church, asking Jesus into his precious little heart. In her post, Mommy Dearest shared that her son had been talking with them about his decision. They talked about it again Saturday evening. Knowing that others were scheduled to be baptized, Mommy Dearest told her son "if he was really serious, there would be water ready."

My heart was filled with joy when I read that.

You see, Mommy Dearest was speaking of baptismal waters, of course. She was referring to being baptized after accepting Christ, an outward demonstration of our cleansing through Him. When I read her post, it reminded me that Jesus is the Living Water and that He is always ready to take us into His arms. All we have to do is ask.

Jesus said to the woman at the well, "If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water." (John 4:10)

As the passage goes on, we learn that the woman does take this precious gift of living water, believing on Jesus as her savior. She leaves her waterpot (she doesn't need it anymore!) and runs into the city to share her news. Praise God!

Jesus tells us to just reach out to Him- "For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." (Luke 11:10)

To everyone, not just some of us. Everyone- you, me, the executive on Wall Street, the cashier at Winn Dixie, the prisoner on death row. Everyone! All we have to do is ask.

And be serious.

By serious, I mean sincere. God knows our hearts. He knows our thoughts. Once we sincerely admit our sin and believe that Christ died and rose again so that we may live, we are saved. Saved! Refreshed and renewed! Never to be thirsty again!

There were two thieves crucified on the right and the left of Jesus. One of them denied Jesus, but the other one cried out to Him. This thief believed right then and there,hanging on a cross himself, between life and death, where he could do nothing but believe, and he accepted Jesus as his savior.

"And Jesus said unto him, "Verily I say unto thee, today shalt thou be with me in paradise." Luke 23: 43

If you want to ask Jesus into your life, do it now. You don't have to take a number. You don't have to wait in line. You don't have to do good deeds or try to be a good person. You don't have to go through any kind of church program. All you have to do is sincerely (seriously) seek Jesus. He is waiting for you right now.

The Water is ready.

I am having trouble with linking this morning. To read about Clayton's experience, click on Mommy Dearest's blog "Home Sweet Home" in my blogroll. Scroll down for "Oh Happy Day."

Hot Glue and Feathers

Next week my daughter's class is dressing as their favorite book character, fictional or non-fictional. They are going to share with the class why they like the character and what makes the book a "good book." This little project is supposed to spark interest in reading.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Sure it does, if your kid loves Sleeping Beauty or Charlotte's Web. A pink princess and a cute spider- those are easy. My kid? She wants to be a pigeon. Not just any pigeon, mind you, but one that can drive.

We love Mo Willems. His stories are funny and quirky, and his illustrations are unique. Our first intro to Mo was Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus a few years ago. We later read Knuffle Bunny about a million times. The first time we read it, my daughter noticed a man in the illustration wearing a shirt that had the pigeon on it.

On the way home from school yesterday we were discussing which character she should be.

I shouted out, "KNUUUFFLLLEE BUNNNNYY!" and laughed.

She said, "I am not going to dress up like a bunny, mom."

You know, because that would be uncool.

I suggested Laura Ingalls. (Yes, pick that! Laura the pioneer girl! A long dress and some black shoes. How easy would that be?)

"No, I don't want to be Laura," she said.

You know, because that would be too plain.

By last night she had decided she wanted to be a pigeon. Let me get this one straight- It is uncool to be a bunny, but not a pigeon? I am totally not in tune with the elementary student's mind.

I am usually very creative in these matters. I am like the MacGyver of crafts. But, other than a hooded sweatshirt and a beak made from a Dixie cup, I am stumped on this one. Any suggestions on how to design a costume which represents an ugly bird that scavenges in parks and poops on your head, and can drive?

Oh, and he eats hot dogs too.

Take Your Daughter to VOTE Day

Today was a scrapbook kind of day, if I had taken any pictures and if I actually, ya know, scrapbooked.

I took my daughter with me to the polls. Before we went, we talked a lot about how the election process works (on her level), how very important it is to vote, and how she had to be absolutely on her best behavior while Mommy carried out her civic duty and all. We talked about what kinds of things would be on the ballot, about the people and the laws (amendments).

She said, "I hope they don't change the law."

"What law?" I asked.

"The American law! I hope they don't change it."

This comment launched a conversion about how the law is different than laws in general, and so on. It was quite the civics lessons in the family car.

I have to say that she was an angel. Most of the poll workers were AARP eligible and we said a lot of yes ma'ams and yes sirs. One poll worker actually thanked me for coming out to vote. I told her that if the Iraqis could do it, I figure I could, too. She literally started to cry.

Talk about patriotic. It was very moving. Seriously, I was touched.

I asked for a kids' sample ballot for my daughter and they kindly obliged. I went over my own ballot with her and told her we wouldn't discuss who Mommy voted for until we got to the car. She filled out her own little "ballot" and was very proud of herself.

We walked to the car, hand in hand, each wearing our own "I Voted" sticker. At that moment, I was filled with so much emotion and gratefulness. It struck me that it was really not that long ago that no woman could vote in this country. Here I was, taking my daughter with me to the polls for the very first time, without fear of persecution or even death. I explained to her that women could not vote many years ago, along with certain races. Thankfully, those laws have changed and we all can vote.

And that is why I vote. I vote because I can. I vote for my daughter and for others who cannot speak up for themselves. Thanks be to God for the women who went before me who fought for me to vote. Thanks be to God that I am an American citizen. I pray that I can live up to the responsibility that comes with that citizenship.

Pray The VOTE

Tomorrow is election day. It may not seem like an important election, but every election is important. I won't get into political agendas, party lines, blue states or red states. When I started to blog, that was one thing I promised myself- keep this blog politics free.

The amazing thing about the country we live in is that I could pretty much say anything responsibly that I chose to say- on a blog, in the open public forum, or even in church. Praise God for The Constitution!

Because of these freedoms, I think it is very important to vote. Plus, I am Baptist. We vote on everything, right down to carpet colors,hymn books, and who is bringing the fried chicken.

So, I encourage you to vote tomorrow if you have not already voted early. Be sure to make an informed decision. Know the candidates. Know the issues. Most importantly, pray, pray, pray! Ask for guidance from The Lord on how to vote. We have a responsibility as Americans to vote. We also have a huge responsibility as Christians to vote.

If the Iraqis can vote in the face of car bombers and terrorists, I know I can fight traffic and stand in line to wait my turn at the polls.

God Bless America!

Now, who is bringing the fried chicken?

You can visit the Christian Coalition's website to find out more about your state's candidates. The CC asks candidates for their stand on certain issues that are important to American families today.

Thanksgiving Quiz

Another worthless, yet delightful quiz. Like Reality TV; I just can't get enough.

My Results. (Someone call The Wiggles so I can join the tour... Hot Potato Hot Potato)

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Oridnary, comforting, and more than a little predictable You're the glue that holds everyone together.

What Part of Thanksgiving Are You?

Festivus for the rest of us.

My dear Canadian friend Susanne asked me what chitlins are. While doing a search for a link to send to her, I found this.

People in the South can turn anything into a festival. Some things just should not be celebrated. Someone stop the madness!

The link to the Chitlin Festival also had this delightful little poem that cracked me up!!!

I am not a Chitlin' eater;
But a Chitlin' eater's son.
Someone else can eat de Chitlin's
'til de Chitlin' eater comes"

A Compare and Contrast Baker's Dozen

Ya'll know I have an aversion to the compare and contrast aspect of writing. Well, only when it is forced on me for a grade...

I digress.

I am giving myself this very important assignment:

"Compare and Contrast the southernness of your/my generation to that of prior generations. You have as long as you want to complete this assignment. You may eat and drink at any time and you are not required to use a #2 pencil. Laptops and pointy things do not work well together. You will be graded on this assignment completely objectively."

1. My generation's Cadillacs have four wheel drive.

2. Prior generations ate chitlins. We don't. Sorry. There just isn't anything to compare or contrast to chitlins. Well, maybe my sushi to them is like their chitlins to me. (I know the proper spelling is chitterlings, but to people who actually eat chitterlings, they're chitlins.)

3. My daddy bought all of his tools at Sears. My husband buys them at Lowe's, Home Depot, or any other 50 acre retail store where those little trucks are always backing up.

4. Daddy owns Dickies. My husband has no idea what those are. (Can I say, "Thank Goodness!")

5. They watched Hee Haw. We watch American Idol.

6. "More cowbell" to them means, "Get a bigger bell for that cow. She keeps wandering off."

7. Atlanta or "Hot-lanta" is still where you go for serious shopping in Georgia, and you still hate driving there.

8. They would never goes to church without pantyhose- whether it is 32 degrees or 102 degrees. I have even worn pants on Sunday morning. AAAAHHHH!

9. My generation knows that Black-eyed Peas can be dried, canned, frozen or on tour.

10. My grandmother had her hair done once a week. I have my done every six weeks, if I have time.

11.Their teen heartthrobs- Elvis, James Dean, Robert Redford
Our teen heartthrobs- Rick Springfield, Tom Cruise, Kevin Bacon(OK- These are for anyone, no matter the latitude or the attitude!)

12. Their Country Music- Johnny, Patsy, and Merle
Our Country Music- Natalie, Emily, and Martie
(Maybe they have lost some of you along the way with the whole Presidential comment and all. I still love them. 'Til they deny Jesus in London or Paris or anywhere else, I still listen. Don't throw any blogger stones at me, please. :>)

13. My grandmother wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
My mother wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
I wouldn't be caught dead without lipstick.
I mean this literally, of course.
Some things never change.

Wordless Wednesday? Not in our house.

Sunday on the way to church while passing the construction site:

"Surely it doesn't take this long to make a road. Mommy, why is it taking them so long?"

"Because half of the time they stand in a group and look at the road instead of actually building the road."



Fast forward to this morning on the way to school:

"No wonder the road isn't done. Just look, Mommy, at those guys standing around looking at it."

More About The War On Terrible

Thank you for all of your comments about this post. This is what I love about blogging- exchanging ideas with each other. I am so grateful that we can discuss and not debate. When the world sees us bicker over things, we totally damage our witness for Christ. So, thanks for being honest and loving!

After posting about Halloween, I have been extra sensitive to the subject while in stores today and even while surfing channels on television. This entire issue has just really forced me to think and to search down deep to find where God would have me stand. To tell you the truth, I am looking forward to November 1. (I realize evil doesn't come just one day a year dressed in a cheap costume. Nonetheless, I will be glad when it is over. )

Last night I was surfing channels and stopped cold at ABC's Wife Swap. In case you aren't familiar, the show pairs two families together (or pits them against one another) who are usually complete opposites. The wives switch families for two weeks. The first week, the "guest" wife must abide by a manual of household rules left by the "real" wife. During the second week, the guest wife applies her rules to the running of the household. At the end of the show, the two couples sit face to face and talk about their experiences. There is much angst and gnashing of teeth, which makes for exciting, dramatic television.

I have watched the show before. Most of the time I am just interested to see how others live their lives as wives and mothers. I am also interested to see how they handle the swap itself.

This particular episode really disturbed me.

In the tradition of Halloween, last night's episode was about a rural/conservative mom who does everything for her husband and kids, and a mom who leads her family into W*CCA (witchcraft). I am purposely leaving out some words to avoid some searches to my blog.

In the very beginning, I thought "Should I just turn it to something else?" But then I decided to see how the W*CCA wife/mom would share her religion and how the media would portray it. I was most interested in how the rural/conservative mom would react to the witchcraft of the other family. Seeing this show in the past, I thought I knew how it would pan out- Good vs. Evil.

I was wrong.

The rural/conservative mom was portrayed as the slave-type wife who does everything for her husband and kids, has no money "of her own," must ask her husband for money, cooks, cleans, and the whole 1950's nine yards. The media loves portraying what I call a "traditional" wife as a woman trapped in an archaic world, ignorantly living in the dark in need of immediate rescue. (I don't know about you, but I do not need to be rescued. Jesus was the first to liberate me long ago.)

This particular rural/conservative mom was not really traditional, in my view. The balance of respect and equality was not there. Of course, one only sees what television reveals but, overall she was definitely more conservative than the W*CCA wife.

What initially disturbed me was when the rural/conservative mom read the W*CCA mom's manual. The manual outlined plainly that the family was "magical" and that their lives were immersed in witchcraft. The rural/conservative mom said, "Well, I don't see anything about Satan yet," and she read on.

Wow. As long as the magic and witchcraft did not specifically recognize Satan as the power, it was perfectly benign. (For me, there are only two powers. If the power isn't from God, then it must be from Satan.)

This is when I knew I had to keep watching the episode. I kept thinking the rural/conservative mom's eyes would be opened, that she would begin to cry and want to leave. Even more disturbing is that she never thought about her own family, her own children being influenced 1000 miles away by a woman who proclaims herself as a goddess.

It never happened. It ended up being a battle about power- who had it, who should have it, and who would end up with it by the end of the show. It was a battle between women and men. It was never about good or evil.

The rural/conservative family never presented themselves as Christian. For all we knew as viewers, they could be believers or lost. What saddened me was that I knew, right then and there, sitting in my comfy chair, watching this show, that I underestimate the number of people who may not know Jesus.

Not just about Jesus. To know Jesus. I believe, at least my hope is, that if this rural/conservative family had been Christian, rooted deeply in The Word of God, there is no way they could have gone on to participate in the show, surrounded by witchcraft and magic. (I have to add here that the W*CCA family was portrayed as nice, loving, earthy and harmless. Are you surprised?)

After being saddened by it all, I remembered a comment by Grafted Branch. Then it dawned on me- the battle of good and evil is about power! Satan wants it and God has it. Eve wanted it long ago in the garden! Nothing has changed. Women are still deceived by the great deceiver today, October 30, 2006. He appears to us as an angel of light, hiding himself as inappropriate political correctness, women's "rights," and the "I'm Ok. You're Ok" mentality that is rampant today. He doesn't show up on our shoulders as a red man with horns and a tail! That would be too obvious.

So now I have to decide what to do with this sadness and disappointment. Blog about it and let it go? Pray about it today and forget about it by the end of the week? I think there is a real reason for the Halloween discussion and the fact that I saw this particular episode of Wife Swap.

If nothing else, it has taught me to stay alert, stay in The Word, and not to stay in my little niche of life. I have to remember that there are people out there who still need to hear the Truth in the Gospel. They may not hear it from anyone else, so I need to be prepared to tell them myself- me, the mom and wife who does the laundry and cleans the bathrooms. Me. Regular. Plain. Me.

Only Christ adds to the Church, but surely I can be His Feet, His Hands, and His Mouth sharing the only saving power in existence- the blood that He shed for the world. He did command me to share the gospel with all the world. But, sometimes I think He meant I am only suppose to give to missions or volunteer at church. Sometimes that is exactly what He wants me to do, but other times I get too comfortable there and forget that He may want me to actually share the gospel with someone myself.

Makes me want to squirm in the proverbial pew for a moment. That's uncomfortable. And, you know what? Maybe it's time for me to be a little uncomfortable in the pew. Only then will I wake up and pay attention to the message.

Halloween?

"Abstain from all appearance of evil." 1 Thessalonians 5: 22 KJV

I learned this Bible verse as a child. My mother taught it to me, not as a memory verse, but as a tool to live by in times when I was unsure of what is right or wrong. I can remember her quoting it before I even knew its reference. Later on, I learned the verse could be found in 1 Thessalonians. This verse still comes to mind in times I am trying to discern truth.

So, why do I, a professing Christian, still allow my own child to dress up and take part in activities on Halloween?

We do avoid scary costumes like witches and ghosts. We try to avoid spooky events. We do, however, dress up and go to a church or school festival. Perfectly innocent, right?

Sometimes I wonder.

My parents allowed me to trick or treat. I was never allowed to dress in anything ghoulish (hence the verse), but they did let me go door to door and plead for candy. Daddy usually went with me and Mama stayed home to pass out candy. Everyone knew their neighbors, and, frankly, the world did not seem so evil back then. I am beginning to sound like my parents' generation, but doesn't it seem that the world becomes more and more evil as time goes by? (In fact, the Bible prepares us for this.)

When I was a kid, Halloween still had some haunted elements, but it was not as haunting or as successful as it is today. Did you know that Halloween has become the second largest grossing holiday for the retail industry? It is second only to Christmas. (Thank goodness for some victories.)

There are two major concerns I have about this "holiday"- I will use that term loosely.

1. Where should Christians draw the line at Halloween when deciding what is "evil" or off limits?

2. Should we, the Church, not participate in any festival (even benign carnivals) at this time of year?

To address the second question, one must search deeply and ask for guidance from The Holy Spirit about the first question. As I said, 1 Thes. 5: 22 has become a lifelong quick reference, so to speak, for me. Of course, you should never take a verse out of context, then name it and claim it. So, I encourage you to read the entire chapter. This particular passage outlines the model walk of the believer. And, ironically enough, when I looked up various versions of this verse, they all pretty much said exactly the same thing, give or take a few words. It seemed to be pretty "cut and dry."

For a Christian, evil is real. It isn't pretend.

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Ephesians 6: 12 KJV

This passage goes on to instruct us on putting on the whole armour of God. Armour is used in battle, so I believe The Lord wanted us to fully understand that we are truly at war with the deceiver, Satan himself. As a believer, I know that I am not alone in this war, and that I am protected through Jesus Christ.

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death nor life, nor angels , nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8: 37-39 KJV

So, evil is real and I should avoid it. Now, on to the second question: "Should Christians avoid any type of celebration at this time of year?"

Don't misunderstand me, I am very thankful that churches have stepped up and provided alternatives for children at Halloween. But, sometimes I wonder if we should avoid any kind of celebrating on that day.

Let me explain. If Halloween is such a huge retail success, aren't we participating in that success by buying candy and costumes for our "festivals?" What message does this send to the retailers who promote and profit from this "holiday?" Also, are we sending a clear message to the world about why we choose these festivals and carnivals? Are they seeing them as simply a safe alternative for their children or as a stand against the evil of Halloween?

I propose that we begin a new trend, a new season of celebration. Let's continue these fall festivals and events, thanking God for the wonderful harvests He has provided. Let's just offer them at another time of year, in September, other times in October, or in November nearing Thanksgiving. And, then on October 31, let's just stay home.

This post could go on, but I would like to close with a Bible verse that I hope will be a guide for me on October 31 and every other day of the year:

"Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this--not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way.
I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.
For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died.
Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil;
for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men." Romans 14:13-18 New American Standard

Are pumpkins evil? No. Are all costumes wrong? No. Are fall festivals and hayrides sinful? Of course not! But, I have to be very careful about the witness I live out in front of others. Simply put, I should prayerfully consider all choices I make, on October 31 and the other 364 days of the year, trying not to hinder the spiritual growth of other believers or the understanding of the gospel by nonbelievers.

By becoming a warrior in prayer, searching daily in the Scriptures, and listening intently for the Voice of The Holy Spirit, only then can I know the path The Lord would have me to take. As for the war of good vs. evil, we may take part in the battles, but ultimately Jesus Christ has already won the war. Praise God! He told us of His Victory over 2000 years ago:

"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 KJV

All Praise to God Who is the Only One to triumph over evil! Amen!

* As always, I welcome your open and honest comments.
And, to let you know in advance, we are going to a church festival this year. We had already promised our daughter before I posted this. As for next year, I don't know. This is something we will have to pray about together. Also, I wanted to add that I had a lot of difficulty with my computer and blogger this morning while trying to write this. :>)

The New Elmo TMX - Elmo reads BooMama

I can watch this over and over. Santa, this is what I want for Christmas!

Seven Things That Have Nothing In Common

I was going for Thirteen, but my brain is 47 % empty. Call me a pessimist.

1. On the way to school this morning- "Mommy, how much horsepower does this thing have?" (FYI- I drive a Camry.)

2. For those who are wondering, I am 35 years old, I do not hunt, and I haven't fallen down. When I get my roots done, I promise I'll post a photo so you will- without-a-doubt- know that I am not Hank Hill.

3. While watching a new commercial yesterday about a car with GPS, it occurred to me that we always stop at gas stations for directions. Why is this? Do we assume that just because they supply fuel for the car that they also know the direction the vehicle should be going? Was the attendant sitting at the register studying a map until we drove up?

4. Which leads to this...I grew up in the age where gas and food were sold separately- like across the street from each other. The only food you could get from the gas station was a Coke and a pack of malt crackers. Now I have to pump my own gas, but the assortment of junk food is quite refreshing.

5. My childhood hero- Chris, Miss Charlie's Angel herself, Cheryl Ladd is now on a commercial about menopause. Jaclyn Smith is still lookin' good at K-mart, so maybe there's still hope. I guess this means Charlie is... dead? And I never found out who he is!!

6. I would love to win on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire so that I can walk in Dollar Tree and freak out the cashier.

7. Ok, and give some of it away. And buy a few things.

Like something with some horsepower.

Because I don't want to read about you in the paper.

Update: Thanks for your comments! This was something I had on my heart and wanted to share and discuss. Glad to have your input.



How careful are you about what you post on your blog? Have you blogged so long that you have become too comfortable?

To my knowledge, no one has suffered from a violent crime due to content they have posted on their blog. There have been cases of stalking and verbal abuse. Thus, I would like to share a few tips I have read and some of my own with you, my fellow bloggers, in an effort to remind all of us that we cannot be too careful.

1. Never post your full name or your home address.

2. Never use your spouse's full name.

3. If you choose to correspond with another blogger via email, do not assume they are who they say they are.

4. Carefully reconsider posting your children's pictures. This is hard. We love our kids and we love to share precious moments. Here's a tip- would you put that particular photo on a billboard on the interstate? The internet is just another type of highway. (Remember- more people are reading than are commenting.)

5. How much personal information do you share? Sports and church activities? Times and dates? Locations?

6. Consider past posts while writing your current posts. Have you given out information previously that may be connected with this information? If so, it could fall into the wrong hands.

7. Just because someone comments regularly on your blog, does not mean you KNOW them.

8. If you ever fall victim to a stalker or inappropriate, unwelcomed comments that make you uncomfortable, report it to the police and your internet service provider.

You can also vist the Federal Trade Commission's website for a wealth of information about online safety for parents and kids, as well as other consumer related tips.

Before you leave a comment that I "have put ideas in someone's head," please remember that these people are several steps ahead of us. Offenders and violent criminals outwit trusting victims every day.

These are personal choices that we all must make. Let's respect each other's choices, stay safe, and have fun!

I welcome your comments and discussion on this topic!

My apologies to my vegan friends.

It's that time of year again. The air is cool. The leaves are falling. Moms are making soup for dinner.

And every catalog known to man is in my mailbox.

I must admit that I enjoy looking at catalogs. My grandmother always had a Sears Roebuck and a Spiegel in her home. We would sit around together looking at bedspreads and drapes from Sears. Sometimes Granny would order some curtains or a pair of pants.

She never ordered anything from Spiegel. She lived in a small town where there was one red light, two drug stores owned by two families, and one place to get barbecue. I had no idea where Spiegel was, but I guessed it was in New York City, on the same street as the Macy's parade. The clothing in Spiegel looked fancy and even odd. Still, Granny bought their catalog every year and we would look and dream.

These days you can order everything by catalog or online. I order online for some things, but I still love to sit on the sofa and flip through a real, paper catalog- the kind that comes from dead trees. So, when Fall arrives and all the catalogs are spilling out of my mailbox, I am in heaven.

Until the other day.

All year I receive mailings from normal stores like Pottery Barn and Chadwick's. This is the season when all of the unique ones arrive, just in time for Christmas shopping. Some of the catalogs are interesting and others are just downright disturbing.

I got a hunting catalog. This particular catalog is a lot like a dark comedy; it starts out perfectly normal and benign and ends up completely dark and sinister. The first few pages are full of lovely adds of fluffy slippers. How innocent and charming. Next, we turn to women dressed in warm, fuzzy sweaters and flannel pajamas. Then, we see male models in completely normal winter attire. For a moment, I thought I was browsing LL Bean.

Then, wham! Jim Carey morphs from the friendly cable guy to the creepy stalker who won't leave me alone. I turn the page and see hunting gear- not the normal camouflage print and bright orange.

Let's digress. I was born and raised in Georgia. My daddy hunted. His daddy hunted. My mama's daddy hunted. His daddy hunted. Every male in my family hunted. But, they were like most normal men who hunt- they got their gear from Sears or Wal-mart. They stayed in the woods for days, no baths and no gadgets. They ate vienna sausages and Spam, and drank coffee and sweet tea from a Thermos. They were, ya know, normal.

My husband doesn't hunt. He isn't against it. He just isn't interested. I am sure if we were stranded in the woods with no food to speak of and all the berries and vegetation were either poisonous or dead, that my husband could kill him a barr (bear). This would be out of necessity, not for sport. (His mother would be proud.)

Which leads me back to the catalog. It was addressed to me or current resident- not to my husband. That alone is almost as disturbing as the merchandise.

This catalog offers hunters things like badger-skin caps, GPS devices (in case you get lost in the woods, you loser!), and even portable heaters for the real sissies out there. There are fancy radios and flashlights, special comfy sleeping bags, and even stuff for your dawg. There are normal items like knives and guns. What's wrong with that phrase? The list could go on and on...

As disturbing and disgusted as I was, I flipped to the very last pages and laughed out loud. The last pages of this yuppy hunter catalog advertise hams and roasts! I guess after you have donned expensive gear, gotten lost in the woods, frozen nearly to death, and driven home empty handed in your Japanese SUV, you have to just pick up the phone and order your meat. You can even purchase gourmet cheese. (I have never seen my daddy eat his venison sausage with a slice of smoked cheddar.)

I considered writing the company to express my mixture of disgust and amusement, but I thought correspondence might encourage more disturbing mail-outs. And, I just don't want to take any chances. For now, I'll throw it out (now that I've posted on it) and lock my doors at night. You never know when Jim Carey may show up in a camouflage jumpsuit and night vision goggles.

PS. I went nuts with the italics (and parenthesis.) Consider me a rebel.

Someone call Oprah!

I finally found a lady who can wear those skinny jeans!

Thirteen Things I Would Add To The Next Season Of Project Runway


1. I would add those girls from the runway Corelle wear commercial. Only, I think I want all of them to slip down so I can see that every pattern is shatter proof. Of course. Ahem, that is the reason.

2. Tim would show up for Laura's delivery in a special edition of the show.
He would walk in and say, "Doctors. Can we gather 'round? For your next challenge, we will have you deliver Laura's baby in the twinkling of an eye, all the while keeping her absolutely free of pain, her red coral lipstick unsmudged, and her red hair neatly coifed. The winner of this challenge wins nothing. The losers will be chewed out by Laura. No holds barred."

3. Each designer would have to design an outfit for a new mom. The mom will model the outfit on the runway, toddler by the hand, newborn baby on one hip, and diaper bag over her shoulder. Let's see who survives that one.

4. Jeffrey would return and have to remake all of those outfits in question on camera. (I know he was found innocent, but I am a cynic.)

5. The models would have to eat the leftovers of a happy meal before each show. ;>)

6. The judges would include 3 random shoppers from Wal-mart, Target, and JCPenney. None of them below age 20.

7. As part of the new mom outfit challenge, the outfit will have baby spit-up, permanent marker, ketchup, and one unknown mystery stain applied. Then the Tide and Gain people can fight over which product works.

8. Stacey and Clint show up as guest judges.

9. Instead of going to the recycling center, the designers must go to my closet and use all of the not so fashionable clothing to create a new design. Good luck.

10. Uli broadcasts her spectacular runway show from Miami, Brandy in the audience and paparazzi everywhere. Her really fun prints make her a household name. She walks out at the beginning of the show and says (in her German accent):

"So, I didn't win on Project Runway. Second is good. They told me to move to New York, that they were tired of Miami. Miami and the Florida lifestyle are who I am. So, here I am with celebrity orders and women flocking to stores to buy my dresses. Hey, Michael Korrs! This ain't New York!"

11. Michael Knight returns as a guest judge and challenges the designers to "Make your design the bomb!" One redneck design contestant misunderstands and actually makes a stink bomb. He is aufed.

12. Finally, Laura has her baby and Tim runs out in his Georgio Armani scrubs and says, "I have an announcement to make. It's a boy! And his name is not Jeffrey or Vincent."

13. The viewers choose the winner of the final 3 (or final 4.) Period. We are the ones buying the clothes, right?

Happy Birthday, Lori!

Be sure to visit Laurel Wreath today and wish her a very happy birthday. She had oral surgery a few weeks ago and still has her mouth wired. Let's wish for her a very tasty cheesecake shake! (She usually has her favorite cheesecake on her special day.)

Have a great day!

Mama and Drama

I was reading Mommy Dearest's post over at Home Sweet Home. She tells the story about her little girl, a neon ink pen, and some pretty awesome carpet stain remover. Be sure to check it out.

Her post reminded me of the times my daughter cut her hair. Yes, times, not time. She has done it twice. The first time, she was about 3 years old. As soon as she had done it, she came to me and told on herself. The damage wasn't that obvious until I started to inspect her little head. OH! The stubble of bangs that remained made my jaw drop.

When I asked her why she cut her hair, she simply said,"I was hot."

The next day we went to my hairdresser and my daughter had the most fabulous bob hairdo in her preschool class. And, we also had a very long talk about how every kid cuts their hair once, and this was her one time. So, that meant she was done with the cutting hair rite of passage of childhood. The End.

Not.

It seems there was a sequel to this story and I was not consulted before publication.

It was last year. (I don't tell my child's age now due to safety concerns, but let's just say she is old enough to know better.) I was -yep- on the phone with Mama. You knew that one was coming. Kids always do these things when we are on the phone. The sequence of events went something like this-

Maggie the cat ran in my room and dashed under the bed.

My daughter walks in. "Mommy, Maggie won't let me brush her."

"Maybe Maggie doesn't feel like being brushed right now. Leave her be."

"But I want to brush her. She won't let me." Whine, Whine, Whine.

"Mama, let me call you back. I need to deal with this."

I hung up the phone and found Maggie still crouched under the bed. My daughter was in the living room.

"It is rude to interrupt me while I am on the phone. Unless you need something or you are hurt, just wait until I get off."

"Mommy, I cut my hair."

"What?!!!! Let me see! Oh, what did you do!? You know you are in trouble."

"I cut Maggie's hair, too."

"What?!!! Why?"

"She needed a haircut. She was hot."

Let me stop here and tell you the cat was fine. Ugly, but fine. Actually, because she is a long hair the gauging and chopping just looked like the cat version of "layers." Apparently, Maggie had been forced into our little apprentice groomer's fun and then ran away. The mad escape is when I saw her run under the bed.

Because my child was chasing her with scissors.

Never mind the "Never run with scissors" 11th commandment. No. We have to amend that rule to "Never run with scissors while chasing the cat."

I was surprisingly calm through the entire ordeal. My daughter had time out that evening, no tv, no movies, no fun. She also had to pay for half of the haircut that repaired the damage. I told her she would have had to pay for all of it if she had not told me. I also reminded her that every kid gets one time to cut their hair and her time had already run out. There was not supposed to be a second time.

When I took her to the hairdresser to repair the massive mess, she told the stylist "I cut my hair. And, there won't be a next time."

It's A Meme, But Not Really

I am calling this post Totally Confused Tuesday.

It isn't really a meme, but it sounds like one. I was thinking about things in life that totally baffle my little, lost mind. And, of course, most of this profound cognition was in the car. It is amazing that I actually can keep my mind on the road, since it is usually wandering to other places.

1. When I put things in the recycle bin on my computer, do they end up in cyberspace on someone else's computer? Perhaps as a better, more well-written post?

2. If designers only use anorexic models, then how do they know that their clothes will look good on regular women? Ahem, they don't. So, why do they make fun of us and come up with these low rider jeans and terms like "muffin top?"

3. Why doesn't Martha Stewart ever trim her bangs?

4. If the chef at a fine restaurant uses substitutes in his recipe, then shouldn't my meal be cheaper?

5. Why can't toothpaste have an opening at both ends?

6. If you go to a buffet place for a birthday party, do they put a sneeze guard over the cake before you blow out the candles?

7. I think Santa must be diabetic by now.

8. Before the light bulb, I wonder if people had "candle moments."

9. Why does cat food come in flavors like "tuna, chicken, and shrimp?" Shouldn't it be "rat, squirrel, and bird?"

10. Why does everyone care about some guy named Jimmy Hoffa? I'm still looking for Waldo.

Monday Madness

The last few days have been a whirlwind of events. My husband had his outpatient surgery on Thursday and we have been busy ever since. We started out great, then last night had a turn for the worse. Today has been wonderful and we are starting to get back to a somewhat normal routine. Before I get all sarcastic, I do want to thank you for your prayers!!

Here are a few things I have learned from the last few days-

1. On the day your husband is scheduled to have any type of surgical procedure, do not promise to make caramel apples with your child for her entire class. In the event that you do make this promise, be sure that this is not your very first attempt at making caramel apples.

Tip- The caramel will stick to other objects including your kid, yourself, your clothes, every single utensil in close proximity and your kitchen table. Miraculously, you will have an epiphany in the midnight hour and discover that the hair dryer will melt the caramel so that you can scrape it off the table. You instantly consider this tip as your next Works For Me Wednesday Post.

2. Barbie dolls and stuffed animals become dangerous hazards when in the path of a man on crutches. Be sure to have your child remove them promptly or threaten time out, loss of privileges or bodily harm. Whatever works best.

3. A very fat black cat is also a hazard. The only way to control this is to keep her in the garage for the rest of the convalescent period.

4. Liquid doughnuts from Starbucks (with triple shot of espresso) become a necessary measure for staying coherent and alert.

5. The patient recovering is more important than folding laundry, showering yourself, and blogging. :>)

6. In the event that the patient suddenly has a headache and vomiting, one must go to the ER. Carter and Carol Hathaway will not be there to soothe away the aches. But, down the hall, you can find a vending machine with Pop Tarts. Your daughter will think this is cool.

7. If you become irritated with the ER physician and find his tone condescending, make sure you choose your comments carefully after he leaves the room. For example-

Me- "What he said was crap. (Turn to child) Oops. Sweetie, that is a bad word. Don't say that word. It isn't really a curse word, but it isn't nice. NEVER say it. Mommy shouldn't have said it. I got upset and it slipped."

Child- "Crap. C-r-a-p. Crap."

Husband/Patient- Grin from ear to ear

Tip- When selecting a new spelling word, be sure it is a word that can be repeated.

8. Once you leave the ER, the personnel will give you a hand out about vomiting. It is, in my opinion, quite educational and helpful. (In the tradition of quoting sea monkey manuals, I just have to share. I could not, even with the many shots of espresso and glasses of Diet Coke, make this up!)

Warning. If you are having dinner, put the taco down. Come back later. The material you are about to read may, in fact cause nausea. Or make you laugh taco sauce through your nose.

"Nausea and Vomiting

What is it?
Nausea is a feeling of sickness in the stomach, usually accompanied by the urge to vomit. Vomiting is the forceful ejection of the stomach contents through the mouth.

Who gets it?
Anyone.

What are the symptoms?
The symptom of nausea is a general feeling of sickness in the stomach. Just before vomiting, you may salivate considerably and begin to retch. "

Wow! I don't know about you, but I feel informed. Thank goodness for the person who takes time out of his life to research and write these educational references. And they say patient teaching is overlooked in today's health care system.

I hope that you have benefited from this post. As always, I am here for you. ;>)

Like Mother, Like Daughter

After watching The Cheetah Girls 2 today, my daughter was working on some art.

This is what it said...

"We Love New York. This Ain't Spain. The Cheetah Girls"

I'll be back...

after many cups of coffee or other stimulant. :>)

Praise

My husband did well in surgery today. Thanks for your prayers!

God is Good. All the time.

Thirteen Things I Love About My Husband

My husband is having outpatient surgery on his knee today (thursday), so please be in prayer for him. In honor of him, I want to share 13 things that I love about him.

1. He has always made me laugh. Not with normal, everyday humor, but with off the wall and sometimes, just odd humor. Hmmm... says a lot about me too.

2. He is the most wonderful Daddy. I say Daddy and not Father. Daddy is just a special word reserved for the best, loving and fun ahem Daddy's in the world. And, to a Southern girl like myself, a Daddy is always Daddy- even if you are 40 years old. I bet my daughter will call my husband Daddy for the rest of her life, too.

3. I respect my husband. Sadly, I don't think some women do.

4. He respects me. (And I try hard not to lose that)

5. He loves and respects God. Ok- Can I say that I should have listed this as #1?!

6. He's smart. We can actually debate each other and laugh later.

7. He is my best friend.

8. He washes the dishes without complaining.

9. He eats my cooking, too. Even the biscuits I made when we first married- the ones where I used plain flour in instead of self-rising. Can you say Hockey Puck? I got up from the table and made another pan. Oh, yes I did.

10. He took me to a Yanni concert, even though the guys at work made fun of him. That is how he is- giving. He remembers little things I have mentioned that I love. (like the wooden cigar Indian- he would soooo get me one if he found it)

11. He accepts that I am not perfect. He puts up with my many moods, my migraine headache days, and all of the little perks and quirks I have- like the post office, the library, and so on.

12. He gave me a kitten as a present- Maggie. We saw her while visiting the shelter one day. He went back and got her days later and brought her home. She was so tiny and unhealthy. She meowed all the way home, and she hasn't shut up since.

13. I know that I can live the rest of my life with him. What an honor.

I hope my thirteen wasn't too sappy for ya'll. I do have feelings, ya know. LOL

Salsa

Because People Like To Say "Salsa"

Black Bean and Corn Salsa

1 can unseasoned black beans, rinsed and drained

1 can whole kernel corn, drained

1 small onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

3 tomatoes, diced (make sure they are well ripened)

1 sweet red bell pepper, chopped

1 bunch cilantro, chopped (remove as many stems as possible)

1 Tbs olive oil

Juice of 2 limes

salt and pepper to taste

1 jalapeno, chopped (optional)

hot sauce to taste (optional)

Mix and serve with your favorite chips. Garnish with lime slices or avocado.

You Either Have Grace or You Don't*

It happened right in front of me.

The pain. The horror. The pure entertaining, post-worthy hysteria of it all.

It was an average shopping trip to Target. The sun was shining and the sky was a lovely blue. I am sure there were birds chirping somewhere, but since I was in a parking lot sans trees and any substantial vegetation, I didn't hear any meadowlark's song.

There were three of them- three ladies who looked to be in their early sixties. They were all dressed rather cute and looked like they had just concluded a fun day out with "the girls" shopping, laughing, and maybe catching a great lunch at one of those restaurants that offers nothing but chicken entrees on the menu (and fabulous desserts.)

One of the ladies was pushing the cart, chatting with her friend. One was on her cell phone doing some serious talking. The lady pushed her cart up onto the curb in order to unload it into the SUV. Then, in one graceful Rockettes style kick, one leg flew up into the air (she may have even pointed her Keds bearing toes), the other leg buckled underneath her, as the woman's skort caught a gust of wind like a sail on the mighty sea, and her fanny landed flat on the pavement.

One friend ran to her aid. I ran over to help, too as the fallen Rockette pulled herself up, brushed herself off, with her face blushed in embarrassment, and assured us,"I'm OK! I'm OK!"

What was even more amazing is that the friend on the cell phone didn't skip a beat in her conversation as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, and helped her friend with the other arm. Then she said,"What we want to know is- Martha, are you wearing any underwear? That's what we really want to know. Mama always told me to wear underwear and make sure they are clean and not torn."

This information is, of course, more important than if her friend had broken anything, hit her head, or scraped her knee. I mean, she wouldn't want to be humiliated by not wearing the proper undergarments while doing a kick line dance maneuver and landing her well dressed rear flatly on the pavement in Target parking lot.

Manners and modesty first. X-rays later.

*Seinfeld- Elaine meets Mr. Pitt.

Creativity Escapes Meme

I am so glad that Big Mama was doing a word meme today. I have serious writer's block. I also did not have enough coffee this morning to get me going, so maybe that has something to do with it.

Here goes:

1. Cowboy- My daughter. She loves anything remotely associated with horses and is convinced that all good things come from Texas. This is because her Daddy has had several works trips to Texas and has brought back some pretty cool toys. Cowboy also reminds me of the Dixie Chicks, baked beans, wagons, Wranglers, real hats, boots, and men that have to spit a lot.

2. Lemon- Lemonhead candy, lemonade, sour, yellow. And a clunker car.

3. Peace- Nancy's recent art, Christmas, what I wish for in the world. And the feeling I have in my heart because of the saving grace of Jesus.

4. Change- The thing I don't do well with. The seasons. What my Daddy always had in his pocket, along with his pocket knife and his keys.

Thanks, Big Mama, for the inspirational vocabulary! Happy Sunday, ya'll!

Sorry, guys. I forgot to add four new words:

Biscuit
Crayon
Warmth
Flip

Acts of Kindness Could Not Be More Random

Don't try to connect these. They can't be connected. There really is no telling the fireworks display between neurotransmitters in my brain.


1. In the car today, "Mommy, the name Sasha reminds me of mashed potatoes."

2. Yesterday I was wondering if the FedEx guy and the UPS guy ever drag race.

3. If blogs crossed:

Big Mama + Boo Mama= Big "Boo Boo" With A Cool Band-Aid

This Ain't New York + Living To Tell The Story= Niagara Falls

Laurel Wreath + Grafted Branch= Lovely Natural Floral Arrangement

Created for HIS Glory + The Ultimate Creator= When We All Get To Heaven :>)

Thirteen Words and Phrases from Project Runway: Season 3

1. Serious Ugly

2. Boring

3. Really Fun Print

4. Pageant Dress

5. Couture du Jour

6. Make it work!

7. Angela and Jeffrey

8. Angela's mom

9. Auf

10. Rosettes

11. My design is the bomb.

12. One day you're in, and the next day you're out.

13. Please leave the runway.

Nancy and BooMama- You are right. No way I could quote Vincent on here. I care about you too much. ;>) Some things just aren't worth repeating.

Let's Show Them We Care

School shootings and violence against children have reached every corner of our nation this week, even the quiet, simple region of Amish country.

I am so saddened at what has happened and seems to keep happening to our children. We all need to pray and ask God's guidance on what we can do to prevent more terrible acts of reprehensible violence.

The Today Show has provided viewers with an opportunity to make a donation toward the funeral expenses of the Amish children killed this week. They have posted the address below.

I am encouraging everyone to send Sympathy cards. Making the donation is a personal choice. I really feel that Christians of the "outside world" need to express our deepest sympathy to those in Amish country suffering right now. They are being bombarded by the media and other secular organizations. Christian outreach would be such a blessing to them at this time.

You can visit the Today website for more information. The address they have posted is:

HomeTowne Heritage Bank
100 Historic Drive
PO Box 337
Strasburg, Pennsylvania 17579

If I find another address, I will update you.

Pillsbury Dough, Plastic Stemware, and Two Giggly Girls

Tonight, my daughter and I dined alone- just the two of us. Sometimes my husband's job doesn't always allow him to be home at dinner. We cherish the nights we are able to sit down together for a meal, but sometimes it is nice to have "just the girls."

For tonight's meal, my daughter and I made pizza. I did not make the dough myself; the little doughboy made it for me. My friend Nancy would probably be twirling her dough up in the air, pounding it, then twirling it again... until it fell in the dog food (but that's another post!)

Ours was a simple pie with the canned dough, bottled sauce and ziplock pre-shredded cheese. My, that does not sound good at all once I write it out! The point was to make it together, be messy, and just have fun. We had salads complete with croutons- a must for my daughter. The best part was our very refined sparkling raspberry/grape juice which we sipped from the most exquisite "glasses"- plastic stemware which is actually intended for the patio. But, hey, I am not letting my child drink from the wedding crystal. Not yet.

She thought it was very special, bubblies and all, and it was kind of nice. Just mom and daughter. Lots of giggles and cheese stringing from our mouths.

Very refined indeed. ;>)

A Mama Daddy Meme

This meme is going around but, unlike the flu, it is quite fun and you don't have to take awful tasting medicine.

I think Barb at Chelsea Morning got it going, but I decided to take Big Mama's challenge to join in.

1. Favorite Memory of your Mother?

It is hard to pin it down to one memory. As a child, I remember making sugar cookies at Christmas, always licking the beaters and the bowl. A good mama always leaves just enough for the "licking." We also made wedding cookies. Yum.

As an adult, I remember driving around Albany with Mama one Christmas Day passing out slices of pound cake to the homeless men who lived down at the train tracks. It was perfectly safe- the tracks are next to the police station and the police allow the homeless men to live there, as long as they don't cause any trouble. I have a lot of memories like that- driving all over town passing out gifts, cookies, or cards to people who may not have received anything otherwise. Mama and I have a special place in our hearts for people who aren't always easy to love, or who tend to be forgotten. I learned a lot about giving from Mama.


2. Favorite Memory of your Father?

My favorite memories with Daddy are all in his garden. I used to help him plant his garden- sometimes from seeds and sometimes from small seedlings. I can remember Daddy tilling the ground, then using a pencil to make a hole to drop the seed in. I would follow behind him and drop the seed.

I loved helping him dig for potatoes. I was the kind of kid who liked to get dirty, but then always ran inside to wash my hands.

3. Favorite Memory of your Siblings?

I am an only child, but I have many memories with my hyper, male cousins. They were both younger than me. When I visited Granny, they came over and we would play outside. Papa played with us a lot. We have a lot of memories shooting the BB gun. :>)



4. What one skill would you like to wake up tomorrow and be able to do (though you'd never learned it)?

I would love to be able to drop 10 pounds per day while gaining muscle mass and holding a donut and a mocha frap. Since that isn't really considered a skill, I will go with quilting.


5. Which one of your dreams has come true?

I am married to a WONDERFUL husband and have a beautiful daughter. What else can I dream of?

My Testimony

I am a little late posting this. Lauren offered to host a Tour Of Testimonies on Oct. 1. (Thanks, Lauren!) I've been a little busy around here, and I just didn't want to rush through this post. After all, this post is about how Jesus saved my life.

My mama always took me to church. Daddy went too, but it was Mama who always put the fire under us to get out the door. She was the one who shared Jesus with me. She is the one I remember praying with me. Daddy's outward expression of his faith was more reserved and quiet. Daddy is, by nature, more of a quiet man. I know in my heart that my salvation was important to him. He just didn't openly express his concern.

We attended a Southern Baptist church in Albany. Mama was always doing something, teaching Sunday School or Vacation Bible School, or making dishes for the benevolence committee. She also was a stay-at-home mom, so I went with her everywhere. Often we were at the church fixing up her Sunday School room or doing some other sort of project. Most Saturdays, Daddy worked. For as long as I can remember, he worked six days a week, sometimes overtime. He later changed jobs and his hours changed as well.

I was taught a deep respect and reverence for God, His Word and His Will. My parents never had a legalistic view of God. They told me about God's Law, but they always included God's Love. I knew from a very early age that God loved me abundantly. That is a rare experience for children these days, I believe.

Talking about God and church was just natural for our family. It was part of every day living. I can't remember us every having a sit down type of devotion, but I remember God and the Bible just being a normal part of our lives. The Bible was part of our conversations.

Being exposed to the Gospel for years, I finally felt the tug of the Holy Spirit one night before going to bed. I was 9 years old. Mama and I had talked about Jesus and she must have answered a million questions. I remember going to bed and praying right there under my pink gingham canopy. I asked forgiveness of my sins and asked Jesus to come into my heart. It was the most overwhelming feeling. I can still remember it. After praying, I climbed out of bed and went back in the living room to tell Mama. She must have been so excited.

That next week I went to church camp. Many of my friends accepted Christ that week. When we returned, there was an entire group of kids who were baptized, including me. I remember that too. Mama made sure I had on a dress underneath that white robe- something that would not become "see through" after I got all wet. :>)

Years later, high school came along. I have no idea when it happened, if it was overnight or a slow process. For whatever reason, I became the typical backsliden baptist teenager. So did most of my friends. We rebelled while still attending church on a regular basis. What I do know for sure is that school had a huge influence on me.

I went to college and nothing really changed. A new independence seems to fuel the fire of rebellion. All along I knew I was wrong, but I kept pushing that conviction down, way down until I almost didn't feel it anymore.

I married my husband and we didn't go to church. This broke Mama's heart. She told me so. But, I just didn't listen and continued to stay away from church.

It wasn't until I found out I was expecting that I finally decided to return to church. My husband was supportive and we visited churches until we found the "right" one for us. He was raised Methodist, and I don't really know why he didn't want to go to church before, but, now he did and I was thrilled. Many spouses don't understand why their significant other suddenly decides to attend church after so many years.

God was so patient with me. I have no idea why, except that He loves me. I am so thankful that I didn't waste more time away from church and away from His Word. I do regret the years I was away, but I think somehow I have a special understanding of those who have been where I have been. Maybe even a little less critical.

If you are reading this and you have never accepted Jesus, do it now. He died for you on the cross. He was raised again and now lives in Heaven. You don't have to do anything to receive eternal life and you don't have to do anything to keep it. It is a gift from God. All you have to do is reach out to Him, admit you are a sinner, believe He can save you, and tell Him you want Him to come into your life. It really is that simple.

God loves you.

To read more testimonies of how God changes lives, visit Lauren

The New Cowboy

I'll be back tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy my favorite commerical!.