Friday, August 25, 2006

Our Family's "Marilyn"

Remember Marilyn Munster? Everyone has a Marilyn. Ours is Maggie.

Maggie is, in pet politically correct terms, shall we say... strange. She is not that bright either. She thinks she is a dog, at least she acts like one. When we go to bed at night she cries for us. We are pretty sure she cries when we leave and she greets us at the door when we come home.

She is totally cat in one regard- It is all about her. We are here for her needs. Totally. No doubt about it.

The only time she remotely acts like she is serving our needs is when she catches a "mouse." Rest assured that we are not being overcome by small rodents. This ain't New York. But, it ain't Green Acres either. No barns. No barn animals. And, no Mr. Haney.

But, Maggie, bless her heart, doesn't know any better. She still has a little bit of mama cat instinct in her. So she hunts at night for her kittens' food. I am a little concerned that she thinks we are her kittens, being that we are a lot bigger than her and a totally different species and all.

When my daughter was small, Maggie would cry at night until one of us got up out of bed, found her in the darkness, and then praised her for the "mouse" she caught- a tiny, baby sock. As our daughter got bigger, the "mice" did, too. We don't get out of bed, but now we call out to Maggie in the night and yell, "Good, Maggie! Did you catch a mouser? Good job!" until she stops crying.

The next morning we find the mouse- a sock. I do try to keep things straight around the house, but ya'll know how socks seem to just disappear. They find their way under sofas, behind chairs, and in between the washer and dryer. Somehow a sock manages to break free and Maggie finds it.

Now to the "cry." It isn't really a cry as much as a dreadful wail. She sounds like she is in pain. And then she talks. She could win us a huge prize on America's Funniest Home Videos if I could ever catch her on tape. Inevitably, as soon as I grab the video camera, she stops talking and just flops over in a massive ball of lazy fur. It's a lot like that frog on Bugs Bunny.

When she meows, her meow comes out as "Wik-KOWWW!" That is the feed me now or else I will wake up the neighbors meow. But when she finds a sock, she says "Carolllll" or "Howarrrd." We have no idea who Carol and Howard are. Maybe they lost a sock.

Last night Maggie started hunting early. I was reading a story to my daughter. We heard Maggie begin wailing and then we heard,"Carolllll. Howarrrddd."

As usual, I called out "Good job, Maggie! You found a mouse. Good job."

My daughter said, "Mommy, do you think Carol and Howard are married?"

"I don't know. I guess they are," I answered, and I just kept reading.

Now, who do you think is the weird one of the family?

*photo courtesy of Check out the site and listen to the theme song!


Tammy said...

Melanie, this is hysterical! :D

What a way with words! And you're my kinda' gal, mentioning all those classic TV shows that I know way too well! (My husband can't believe I know all the words to the Green Acres theme song. But hey, I was a child of TV!) :)

I can just picture you sleepily hollering out praise to your kitty cat in the middle of the night so she's stop crying! Way too funny! :)

Thanks for making me smile right before I hit the hay (no Green Acres pun intended) ;)

Big Mama said...

You've got me laughing out loud with this one! Too bad Carol and Howard can't keep their socks picked up!

Melanie said...

I am working hard to get a photo of Carol's sock. Maggie keeps dissin' me (see, Big Mama, I can be hip with the crew like you- bustin a move and all)