Saturday, August 19, 2006

A Novel for Meme? Why, Bless Your Boggin' Heart!

Susanne tagged me for a meme. Being the prompt person that I am, I commented to Susanne that I would write the meme for yesterday's post. Well, being that there is no "yesterday's post," it will be today's post.

See, I am on medication. Not just my usual anti-depressant that keeps me on a smooth, slightly sane, mental plane. My allergies are giving me fits. I have a cough that mimics that of an old, tattoo- sporting, Winston smoking woman who hacks over the sneeze guard at Western Sizzlin.

To prevent my lungs from completely deteriorating, I woke up this morning, not so bright-eyed and bushy- tailed and took two Advil Cold and Sinus caplets. PLEASE READ THIS- The label recommends only one caplet. But, I have a very high tolerance to medication.

Example- When I was in labor, the nurse gave me a really goooood drug for the pain. The kind that makes you look around the room and see things dancing. The kind that makes you say things like "I love ya, man." or "DUUUDE!"

Right before she injected me with this blessing from the pharmacy, she said,"You may want to use the restroom. Most patients fall asleep before I even finish pushing this drug into their IV."

Such a sweet kid.

I told her that I was fine. My bladder was quite comfortable.

So, she gave me the medication. Not only did I NOT fall asleep, I continued to talk to her. She finished administering this blessing from the pharmacy and left the room in Shock and Awe. And, after she left, I felt much better and just kept talking to my husband.

AND NEVER EVEN FELT A TWINGE OF GROGGY. This tolerance to medicine is also a reason my epidural wore off. But no one believed me... that's another story.

Back to the tag- See I told you this medication might affect me. (or is it just an excuse?)

The Meme is This:

If you could write a novel about any subject, what would it be?
Just the subject, don't give away any plot ideas.

Considering that the above portion of this post could be a novella with a plot that goes absolutely nowhere, hmmm. Let me think...ok... here goes-

My novel would be about a completely fictional character, a woman, let's say. She grows up in the Deep South and has some of the weirdest relatives. Some of them are so strange that her family doesn't talk about it, unless it is in a whisper.

This woman is... let's say... fairly attractive, no, she is absolutely GORGEOUS! So much so that people have to turn away when she passes on the street. Kind of like staring at the sun. You could go blind. (Not sure if this is fiction or non-fiction. What do you think?)

The novel would be about her life in the tropics, sipping sweet tea, eating seven layer chocolate cake, and never gaining an ounce of fat. Quite the contrary, the more she eats, the more she radiates charm and beauty, and extreme intelligence.

Most days she is in her hammock solving world hunger, and writing peace treaties for nations across the globe.

The End.

Really. That's the end.

Never underestimate the creative power of decongestants.

I tag BooMama since she is under the delusion that she isn't a writer, and Nancy but wait for hers; she is trapped in dial-up land right now.


Susanne said...

Sorry, for tagging you when you're in a drug induced state! :) However, you did a great job, but I gotta tell you, if you're writing about me like that, it will not be considered a fiction novel, it will be an autobiography! :D Just kidding, ya all know! Good job, Melanie! That was totally enjoyable! Now go get some rest!

Tammy said...

So much fun to read...medicated or not! :)

P.S....on the word verification the last three letters are f-o-g! As you say in your neck of the woods..thought that was a hoot! :D

Lauren said...

Can I be the character of your story for a day?

Brenda said...

"Waiter, I'll have what she's having."

Fun read!

Melanie said...

Susanne and all ya'll- I feel fine. The medication is worrkkingg.... YIPPEEEE!

Nancy said...

I have responded to your tag, albeit kinda unintelligibly (excuse any terrible spelling). Thanks for thinking I'm worthy of a tag. :)

Laurel Wreath said...


this is in response to the Daniel bible study I mentioned on my blog (could not find an email for you). Can you send me an email at lrlwreath at yahoo dot com ? I need an email address because I have the blog set up that only people who are interested and recieve "invites" can view the blog. That way we all know who is viewing the blog.

I am excited, I have just begun and already I find myself having to "chew" on what the Lord just taught me in the morning.