I shall take my tea on the lanai, dahhhling.

My husband and I were watching House Hunters the other day. It was set in Hawaii with the typical scenario- a couple was searching for a home with a realtor, narrowing the search down to three choices, while wearing matching outfits.

We noticed that the word "lanai" was mentioned over and over. "Oh, we love the lanai!" "Look, honey! A lovely lanai!" "We could have our breakfast on the lanai." It got to be too much.

My husband said, "This is getting on my nerves. They just keep saying 'lanai, lanai, lanai!' What is a lanai anyway?"

"A porch," I said.

My husband was thinking it must be some special porch since it had its own name. I told him I think a porch is just a porch, unless you are trying to sell it. Then it becomes a lanai.

So, being the dictionary geek that I am, I looked it up.

Lanai- "a veranda or roofed patio"
Porch- "A covered platform, usually at the entrance of a building"
Veranda- "a porch"

So, if a lanai is a veranda and a veranda is a porch, then I guess a lanai is a porch? I am sure there are some true architectural distinctions among the three. But to this southern girl, a porch is a porch is a porch. But I will try to come up with my own interpretation...

Lanai- A lovely covered patio where one may enjoy her espresso and Wall Street Journal in the morning. Relax in the tranquil breeze blowing through the palms and onto your lanai. The lanai is the perfect place for an imported wicker seating group or a beautiful bistro set. You may choose to install an ornate fountain and listen peacefully at the soothing sounds of trickling waters. Yes, the lanai is for the person who enjoys the finer things in life, and has the money in her bank account to purchase them.

Porch- A raised or level, concrete or wooden patio where one may enjoy her instant Folger's coffee and National Enquirer. Those with a flair for the finest may sip from their freshly brewed drip Maxwell House while clipping coupons. Relax in the humid, still and sticky air that stagnates and makes your hair go flat. The porch is the perfect place for an old sofa or a card table. You may choose to install a bug zapper and listen each evening at the sizzling sounds of mosquitoes and moths being electrocuted to death. Yes, the porch is for the one who enjoys the simpler things in life, and has the money under her mattress to buy them.

Have a great Saturday evening on your lanai or your porch!