Friday, July 14, 2006

This is what happens when my imagination gets loopy.

Today we went to Burger King for lunch. I just love the drive-thru! My daughter got a Superman toy. This whole Superman hoopla has got me thinking- if I were a super hero, what would I be?

First of all, let me say that Batman has always been my favorite. I think it had something to do with Michael Keaton's voice saying, "I'm Batman." Even so, he was my favorite as a kid. I also liked Spiderman because he could climb anything. (I was a tree climber, so I could just picture myself scaling the side of a skyscraper.)

And of course, deep breath, Wonder Woman. Well, she is just in a category all by herself.

Superman has never impressed me a whole lot. Sure, he can fly. He's really strong. So, he has x-ray vision. But, something about that tacky outfit, well, he isn't all that super to me.

That leads us to my question- What kind of a super hero would I be?

It seems that there are a few key components to being a super hero-
1) Super powers 2)Enemies, and the most important one of all 3) the Outfit!

1) My Super Powers- Once we get passed the "Miss America I would wipe out world hunger and teach everyone in the whole wide world to read campaign", my first order of business would be to install carnival mirrors (the one that makes you skinny!) in all dressing rooms and homes. I would then instantly change all of the women's clothing labels to 3 sizes- "fits most", "fits all", and "dahhling, you look mahvelous!"

This one is for BooMama- Diet Coke will bubble up in the front yard of every woman's home in the form of a sparkling, sugar free spring. Those who drink from the free flowing fountain, will add years to their life, and lose inches and wrinkles instantly.

I would have the ability to discipline children with my super hero "mommy look". Wait, I already have that.

Although I do not fly myself, I will have another super hero fly me around in my very visible Wonder Woman spin-off airplane. The only difference is that you can see the plane, not me, and it is quite fabulous.

In an I Dream of Jeannie blink of an eye, all dust, laundry, and cellulite will disappear. I make house calls, too.

Two blinks of an eye- everything at Wal-Mart, Target and Big Lots is BOGO!

2) My enemies- My true nemesis is Spandex Girl. She wears a very tight fitting leotard and goes around contaminating the Diet Coke Springs, replacing the DC with high fructose corn syrup. Then, she paints the side of my very fabulous plane in a hideous shade of lime green. Her most deviant plot involves the replacement of the skinny carnival mirrors with the fat carnival mirrors. EEEEK!

3) My costume- An old t-shirt, some comfy sweats, and socks.

Up! Up! And away!!! Did I mention I can leap piles of toys in a single bound...

Nancy at found a really fun super hero quiz that you can take too-
Take the test and go to Nancy's blog to see her results! (I played and it said I was The Hulk- not cool.)


BooMama said...

LOVE IT! You definitely have an imagination - unlike myself, of course. :-) And honey - if diet Coke is the fountain of youth? I'm gonna live FOREVAH!

Brenda said...

Too funny. Love it. Especially costume. Oh yes.

Tammy said...

This is great! SUPER job...(no pun intended) :D

Love that comment about Michael's voice saying "I'm Batman"although I've not a true Keaton fan, I have to agree...and the evil Spandex Girl...too funny! :)

Oh, and thanks so much for stopping by my blog! I'll be back...

JenMom said...

Great post!

AzureLynn said...

Okay, my favorite superhero male role model is my husband. But you can be my gal superhero role model if you like! (I don't drink diet coke -- but water, so my yard needs a clear cool sparkling water fountain.)I will settle for the clothing that says, "dahhling, you look mahvelous!" And I think I have the same superhero outfit already here!!! And be sure to clear those toys cuz they HURT LIKE THE DICKENS when you land on em!

Mommy Dearest said...

This is my first visit to your blog, but we have a bit in common. I'm a fellow southerner (which means I get angry when they try to make "y'all" singular in movies - who would say, "Darlin', would y'all pass the sweet tea?" if they were talking to one person?) I, too, posted recently about Superman ( and my first word was Batman.