Sparklers, Bottle Rockets, and Other Weapons of Mass Destruction

The fourth of July has so much meaning. The freedom, the independence, and those beautiful, deafening public displays of ammo- fireworks.

Until recently, all fireworks were illegal in Georgia. Growing up, fireworks at home were never part of our 4th of July plans. (unless you lived waaaayyyy out in the country) We weren't even allowed to have sparklers! At least, according to the law...

But, I can guarantee if you asked anyone who lived in one of the border towns (towns along the state line) he could tell you exactly where to go to get any kind of firework your little delinquent heart desired. "Yeah, you just head down 441 'til you get to the Florida line and look for that gas station on the left. You'll see the sign. Can't miss it. And, while you're there, here's a dollar. Buy me a lottery ticket."

The laws have changed. Georgia has a lottery and fireworks; Now we can throw our money away on a chance to get rich, then blow the tips of our fingers off when we get home. Martha, that's not a "good thing."

I've seen what damage my uncles can do with ammo. And, while I sure do enjoy some good venison sausage on occasion, I don't relish the image of Uncle Billy blowing up Aunt Bessie's watermelon patch. The thought of my relatives legally acquiring fireworks of any kind is pretty scary.

Fortunately, the legislature has put limits in place. According to an Augusta TV channel's website, we still can't have anything that "flies in the air." I can hear the Representatives on the House floor chanting, "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!"

Awwww. Now that just takes the fun out of it.

So, for now Georgians will continue to be the sissies on the fireworks playground, so to speak. Just give us some sparklers and a welder's hood.