This Ain't New York

Thirteen Of The Sweetest, Funniest
Things My Daughter Has Ever Said!

1. After seeing the cat scratching her ear- "Mommy! Maggie's kicking herself!!"

2. Watching me paint a mirror for her room- "Mommy, when you grow up, I think you should be an artist."

3. She was about 2 yrs. old, very sick, and would not take her antibiotic. I had to hold her down to give it to her. I prayed and asked God to please help me, please help her take the medicine so we wouldn't have to struggle.
The next time I told her it was time for medicine, she opened her mouth like a little bird, and swallowed it without any hissy fit.
I hugged her and said, "Thank you, God."
She said, "I'm not God."

4. It was Fire Safety Week at school. Coincidently, she had also been asking me questions about hell. (We don't exactly dwell on this topic, but she knows there is another place other than Heaven. I promise we are not terrorizing our child with fire and brimstone...)

This conversation nearly made me wreck the car-
"Mommy, what happens to the people when they get to hell? Do they die?"
"No, they live there forever just like the people in Heaven."
"Does the fire go out?"
"No, honey. It will burn forever. That's why it so important to tell people about Jesus."
"How do you know?"
"The Bible says so. It says that the fire will never go out."
"Boy! I bet those people want to stop, drop, and roll!"

5. While we're on that subject-

We passed a cemetery, and there was a house right next door.
She said," Those people are lucky!"
"Lucky? Why are they lucky?"
"Because whenever they think of a loved one who died, and they miss them, all they have to do is walk outside to remember them... and I bet their backyard is decorated soooo pretty!"

6. She had just given me a toy stuffed possum for my birthday. (Hubby prepared me for opening that gift!) She "adopted" him and he went with us everywhere. While riding in the car, we smelled a skunk somewhere in the woods.

She said, "Posse! Have you been eatin' garbage again! I told you not to eat garbage! Mommy, Posse's mouth smells like garbage! And last night I caught him up chasing Maggie, you know, because he's nocturnal. He got in trouble with his mommy for being up chasing the cat. He tried to pretend he was asleep."
"Oh, He was playing possum."
"No, he wasn't playing possum. He is a possum."

7. During one of her picky food days-

"I don't like this. This food is too tasty."

8. "Why don't some mommies go on field trips?"
"Because some mommies have to work. They would go if they could. One day, I may have to go to work too."
"I hope that day isn't today."

9. After going out and running errands all over town-

"Mommy, how many people told me I look nice today?"
"I don't know, honey. I wasn't counting."

10. (Age 4)
EVERY SINGLE TIME we passed a neighbor's house with Halloween decorations still up, long after Halloween-

"Why don't those people take down their decorations?! Don't they know Halloween is over?"

11. "I want to wear my tacky pants."
"Khaki pants, khaki honey. Not tacky."

12. (Age 2)
Comment after seeing my mama get up and stiffly walk with her arthritic knees:
"Grandmama does the poopy walk."

13. Written on a homemade Mother's Day card with a drawing of a mommy monkey and a baby monkey-

"I hope you get all the fleas off you."