Monday, January 14, 2008

Politics and Maybelline

It's election time, folks. I wasn't going to blog about it at all. I still have not decided for sure what, if anything, I would say this year on this little blog o' mine. But this morning I thought the very least I could do is make fun of it a little.

That's my civic duty.

No, I'm not laughing at the election process nor at the seriousness of taking part in it as a matter of your God-given right as an American.

Alert: (Picture this flashing in red if I had html skills)

If you are an American and are eligible to vote, register now so that you may exercise your right to do so, then look at the issues, the candidates, and all of the options and pray about making an informed decision. Ignore all of the bells and whistles and what your parents or friends or favorite celebrities say. Then, go vote with your heart and your conscience.

Ok. Enough of that.

On to the fun stuff. I have been interested in politics and government since I was a little girl. I find it fascinating. I have also loved commercials since I was a little girl. Mama said that when I was two years old, I would run in my little bare feet from the back of the house to the living room whenever I heard the Nestea plunge commercial on television.

So, combine politics and advertising and I am just giddy. Like a nerdy kid in an encyclopedia store. By the way, I always wanted my very own set of Encyclopedia Britannica. You would never know I could do The Slide, would you?

With all of my TV viewing and encyclopedia reading, I have observed a few things about political campaigns.

1. Whenever a candidate makes a speech, they always have the American flag behind them, REALLY HUGE ones like the ones they have at car dealerships. I know this is supposed to make them look patriotic. Somehow, it is just too in-your-face. Besides the fact that the flag matches their red power tie, it doesn't do much for me.

2. Candidates always have people behind them who look like they really care what they are saying. Sometimes the people are just standing around, but most of the time they look like they are sitting in bleachers. They always have tiny American flags.

Most of the time, the people behind the candidate would be considered their opposites. The candidate wants voters to look at the folks behind them and think,"Hey! These people are different from her. I wouldn't have thought they would support her. They must be friends!"

For example, if I were running for office, you may or may not see the following in bleachers sitting behind me, waving tiny American flags against a backdrop of a humongous flag that I borrowed from the Chevy dealer:

-A woman without any lipstick

-People wearing white (and it's after Labor Day)

- Methodists with take-out bags from the restaurant where they got a table before us after church because their service gets out before ours does and Baptist preachers are long-winded

- Martha Stewart

- Department Store CEO's

-Members of a rock band


-The Postman

Of course, the postman would be late for the rally and Martha would be handing out handmade tiny American flags while the beavers chewed up the bleachers.

At some point during my speech I would go against all campaign advice, showing my real emotion, and turn around and hand that woman a tube of my red lipstick.

There are just some issues too serious for me to avoid.


Lysa TerKeurst said...

This is one of the most hillarious and clever coverages of the election that I've heard to date!!! Seriously- it just made me chuckle!!!
My mom would be proud of you handing that woman some lipstick. If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times--- put some lips on gurl--- in her true to form southern accent of course.

nancygrayce said...

That is sooooo funny. I did once see my nephew on stage at a local presidential thing with a never to be named candidate because I don't like to talk politics....big family you know! :)

Sista Cala said...

You think Baptist preachers are long winded...we let out so late that our lunch is actually the fresh food prepared for the early evening diners.. ;>)