What God Has Done

Just over a year ago, my family moved clear across the country to a small town out west, very different from any place I'd ever lived.

Let's just say this Southern girl wasn't exactly thrilled...

Join me today at the Internet Cafe for an update on What God Has Done in my life.

Y'all have a great weekend!

Random Dozen: Banana, Tree, Register Three

1. If you could master one sport, what would it be?

This is going to sound completely lame, but I've always been interested in archery.

Yes, as in bow and arrow.

I have no idea why. I've never even tried it.

I'm sure Hubs would be the first to volunteer to put an apple on his head.

2. When you make a major purchase, do you go with your gut instinct, or do you do research to make an informed decision?

I research to be able to make an informed decision, but I always trust my gut in the end.

I read and read about the item (especially cars.) We tend to keep major purchases for a long time, so I want to be happy with them.

3. There is an old kids' game that says you can find out what your movie star name would be by using your middle name as your first name and the name of the street you grew up on as your last. What is your movie star name?

I have to pass on this. This taps into so many possible password leaks. I'm not even sure they are out there, but it's possible.

4. Would you rather give up your favorite music or your favorite food?

I'd say music. I wouldn't be able to listen to my favorite song, but I could still sing. However, I can't really hum to myself to enjoy Starbucks coffee or Reese's cups.


5. There are two types of banana preferences. One is pristine yellow, almost to the point of being green; the other is spotty and more ripe. Which is your preference?

I'll pick the pristine yellow one because I have no idea when it will be eaten. It could sit on the counter for days or be eaten when it is unloaded from the car. Here in New Mexico, the dry air is not kind to produce. It goes bad very quickly, something I am still not used to.

6. Your favorite tree is?

The Live Oak. They are grand and gorgeous. They live through storms and fires. There are so many throughout the South which have witnessed years of history.

And they are great for climbing. Picture Jenny and Forrest.

7. On a scale of 1-10, how tech savvy are you?

Maybe a 4. I can turn on the computer, navigate the Internet, blog and shop. Once a virus or worm or bug or other critter gets in the way, I'm in big trouble.

8. Has H1N1 touched your family?

No.

And I would really like access to the vaccine, hello government people out there...

9. Are you an analytical person, or do you just accept things the way they are without questioning or scrutinizing?

I analyze everything to death. I'm a psych major who loves words. I pick apart movies and books and sitcoms.

I find meaning where there is no meaning. It's fun. I'm a nerd.

10. Is your personality more like that of a dog, cat, or Koala?

I've never really gotten to know a Koala, so I can't answer to that. Oh, except for that little guy in the zoo, but he was in a cage so we couldn't really chat over lattes...

I'd say cat. I try to be cool and collected, but most of the time I end up with my ear turned inside out.

11. Do you keep in touch with friends you made years ago?

A few. We have a long Christmas card list, but there are only a few that I really keep in touch with on a regular basis via email or phone calls.

Unlike a lot of my friends growing up, I've moved away.

12. You are checking out at a grocery store. In the express lane, there are more people than the regular lanes, but of course, their load is less than those in the regular lanes. Which lane do you choose (assuming you qualify for the express lane) and why?

I have a mental check system for this.

For one, I always choose a female cashier over a male one. Sorry, guys. Women are more efficient at running a cash register. I think it has something to do with multi-tasking.

Next, I look at who is in line. That husband who is by himself will unload his cart slowly and wait until he is given the total to get out his debit card. Same with the little old lady (she can't help it.)

That being said, no matter how long the lines are, I usually end up with the veteran cashier who scans like lightning, right behind the young mom with the screaming baby and cart full of diapers (she's ready to get home.)

Reference Question #9. :>)

Thanks again, Linda!

Cat Years

Maggie is up in years. She's almost 13.

In dog years, that's old.

In people years, she should be getting some kind of social security check that I could dip into. The only thing is, with her being a cat, it would be kind of hard to forge her signature and cash it at Wal-mart.

"Um, yes, Customer Service Person, that paw print is totally mine."

In addition to her usual drama, Maggie has pretty much given up on effective grooming. I say effective because she still tries, bless her heart. She licks and licks and rubs her face with her paw. Now, in her old age, she just licks her long fur coat into a matted mess.

She has become that little old lady who sits in front of you in church. The one who always makes the coconut cake every year at homecoming. The one who still wears lipstick and blush, Avon circa 1982. The one who carefully styles her hair but doesn't realize that the back of it still looks like she slept on it.

God love her.

That's my cat.

So now I'm having to comb or clip out the knots in Maggie's coat. You could say I'm her weekly beauty shop appointment.

I draw the line at driving her to the bank.

The post I wish I could have linked to yesterday.

Most of you read Big Mama, but if you haven't read this post, please run right over there and read it now.

As Lee Greenwood says (over and over,) I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free.

Thanks, Melanie for an awesome post.

Random Dozen: Grouper and Little Debbies

1. What was the last song you listened to?

Last night I listened to Wild Horses by Susan Boyle online. I'm asking for her CD for Christmas.

2. Have you ever had “buyer’s remorse” over anything?

In the literal sense, those MC Hammer pants I bought freshman year in college.

It is never Hammer time.

3. What is something in your life that you are thankful for now that you didn’t think you would be at the time of the event? (Something that seemed ill-timed, inconvenient or hurtful which turned out to be a good thing)

We moved somewhere and I kicked and screamed the whole way. I ended up having one of the best doctors to take care of me during my pregnancy.

4. Do you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade every year? If so, do you have a favorite float or balloon?

Yes!

I love the Rockettes. I wanted to be a Rockette as a child.

Alas, I am too short. Plus I can't dance.

5. Share a quote, scripture, poem or lyric which has been an inspiration to you lately.

The quote on my Mary Engelbreit calendar for this month-

"Must. Change. Attitude."

That is totally me.

6. This is meant to be a fun question, and this is a G-rated blog, but please share a “guilty pleasure,” something that you enjoy that’s probably not the most edifying, time-worthy or healthy thing you could be indulging in. Did I mention--G rating?

I watch Roseanne. Hubs doesn't get it. He is so shocked that the show makes me laugh.

That family puts the fun in dysfunction. I'm just glad they don't live next door.

7. What Thanksgiving food are you looking forward to?

Homemade dressing.

Not stuffing.

Dressing.

Made with homemade cornbread and homemade chicken stock and homemade celery... okay. You get the picture.

8. What is your favorite book to read to children, or what was your favorite childhood book?

The Little Red Hen. My poor daddy probably memorized it. I loved it.

It makes me chuckle that the Hen totally told everyone what she thought about their attempt at freeloading. The funny part is that I got that as a little kid. I was a weird kid who understood adult concepts.

9. Do you collect anything? (Feel free to post a photo.)

I collect porcelain dolls. On top of them, is my collection of dust.

It is not really hip to collect dolls. People think that if you collect dolls that you also put out fresh doilies when company comes over.

My doilies are all packed away with the Precious Moments figurines, thank you.

10. Gift bags or wrapping paper?

It depends. If it is a kid's birthday party, gift bag! Gift bags have become the answer to shorter kids' birthday parties.

Sometimes I like to wrap some really special gifts in wrapping paper with a nice ribbon or bow.

11. Share an after-school memory from when you were younger. What was your routine like on an average day?

I walked home with my red book bag in one hand and my blue Peanuts lunch box in the other. Sometimes Mama gave me a Little Debbie cake when I got home. Swiss Rolls were my favorite. I always unrolled them as I ate them. After my snack, I watched The Flintstones and I Love Lucy re-runs.

What can I say? Life was hard.

12. True story: Once, in a job interview, I was asked this question and told there would be no clarifying; I simply had to answer the question: “When you’re fishing, do you feel for the fish?” So what about you? When you're fishing, do you feel for the fish??

Okay, Lid. You've got me stumped. All I can say is that I enjoy fishing and catching them, but not touching them. In the literal or figurative sense.

I also love eating them. Preferably grilled amberjack or fried grouper with some really good hushpuppies.

Thanks for the fun and fishy questions, Linda!

Expert In A Cheap Poncho

Somebody tell Mama.

I'm sitting here watching The Weather Channel. If my dear Granny were still with us, she'd be watching it with me, too and we'd switch back and forth between TWC and CMT for some kind of tribute to Dolly or Merle.

Even though we live in New Mexico now, we still own a home in Florida. That nice little pond behind our house drains into a sound which drains right into the Gulf of Mexico.

Well.

The thing about tropical storms and hurricanes is that they tend to blow water in the opposite direction of where you'd like it to go. Rain blows sideways and the water that normally drains out of a pond tends to rise into your backyard.

As of now, it looks like our house will withstand Ida. But it's times like these that I become friends with the weatherman.

I kinda feel sorry for the guy. At any other time I tend to ignore him or scoff at his forecast. Give me a good hurricane or some winds kickin' at 70 knots, and I'm adding him to my Christmas card list.

The weatherman, poor guy, is a lot like the dentist. We don't like them, even poke fun at them a little bit.

Until we have a toothache.

Or a house on a pond which drains into a sound that ultimately drains into the Gulf of Mexico.

Right down the road from where Jim Cantore is standing.

Live. Via satellite.

In Sympathy

Just a quick post to express my heartfelt sympathy to the friends and family of those injured and killed at Ft. Hood.

May God bless you and comfort you in your loss.

We salute your loved ones for their incredible service to our country.

God bless our troops.

Y'all give new meaning to Southern Comfort.

Well.

If I weren't southern and wordy and long-winded, writing run-on sentences and such, I'd say that your comments about alcoholic sore throat remedies left me speechless. Instead, they had me laughing so hard that I wound up in a coughing fit.

It was very attractive.

I went to dinner last night where I met a few new friends and spent time with old ones. Just before I left, Hubs asked, "How are you going to talk?"

I told him,"I'll figure it out."

Challenging a woman to find a new way to talk is like asking MacGyver to build something out of used toilet paper rolls and crazy glue. One minute everything is quiet and the next, the A-Bomb is going off.

When we arrived at the restaurant I explained that I had lost my voice because of my allergies and that I was not contagious. That last phrase should really be made into a button because I've repeated it at least 100 times in the last few days.

I HAVE ALLERGIES. IT IS NOT THE SWINE FLU.

Maybe I should edit it a bit. That's a lot for a button, even for those really big ones we wore on our acid-washed denim jackets in the '80's.

Seriously. The Swine Flu is the new plague.

"People treat me like I have the plague" has been replaced with "people run away screaming like I have the swine flu."

The Swine Flu is really freaking us out. Rightly so. People are becoming very ill.

We're scared to sit too close to someone in church. We're scared to shake hands. We're scared to go to Wal-mart. (Okay, we were always scared to go to Wal-mart.)

The up side (???) is that it gives some folks an excuse to drink whiskey.

wink

Typing in a low whisper

Somewhere along the course of events of the weekend, I lost my voice. It started out as a squeak, then a raspy bark, and now it is a sad little whisper.

I attribute my condition to all the yelling.

Kidding.

Really, it is a result of a Fall allergy of somethingorother. I sound really pathetic but feel perfectly fine. (Let's keep that between us.)

Now I'm sipping herbal tea (blech) and hoping to recover quickly. I'm going to a girls' night out for dinner. I would love to be able to actually order instead of relying on pointing and hand motions.

Fortunately for you (or unfortunately) I can still type.

So, I'll be back. Right after I stop gagging on the herbal tea remedy.

Isn't there some sort of latte' for laryngitis?

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Ward brought home everything on the shopping list. In addition to the super nacho ingredients, he also got Diet Coke.

I love that man.

Today was the day I planned to go for a big grocery shop. I had some things to do around the house this morning before hunting and gathering. Around lunch, I went to the frig. and noticed the bulb was out.

Humph. How 'bout that?

A few moments later I reached in the freezer. The bulb was out in there, too.

What are the odds? I listened closely and heard nothing but the drip, drip of the thawing chicken nuggets and Hub's last two Klondike bars. No humming, no buzzing of a compressor. Nada.

So I called our property manager to report that our refrigerator had just died. They said they "hoped" to have someone out to check it this afternoon.

It's Friday. Even if the man showed up on time, there was no way the food was going to make it. If a part or new appliance were needed, it would most likely be Monday before they arrived.

Boy, was I glad I hadn't gone to the store.

We still have a little college dorm size frig. that we used during another move. I went to the garage and plugged it in. There was just enough room to stash a half gallon of milk, some hot dogs, and a stick of butter.

Hours passed. No one came.

I returned to the kitchen for something and noticed that now my coffee maker clock wasn't on.

Guess which two items in the kitchen share the same outlet.

I slid the coffee maker over and noticed that the GFCI outlet had tripped. A quick press of the reset button and all was right with the world. The humming returned, the ice maker clanged and the frost on the milk jug began to fade.

I called the property manager to give her the good news.

Thank Heaven for modern conveniences like safe electricity and refrigeration.

Because Heaven knows how much Ward loves his Klondike bars.

And I meet him at the door with a cocktail and take his hat.

Hubs has always said he doesn't like sitting at a desk. He would love to work in a way that keeps him constantly moving, not at a desk.

Except for the people on The Office, I think most of us are like that. Whether we really want to sit at a desk for work or not, sometimes we just end up there, at least for part of the work day.

It's not the best situation, but we take what we get.

Kind of like being the person who gets the last little bit of fries before they make a fresh batch, but without the little ketchup packets.

The funny thing (not in the comical kind of funny) is that his job through the years usually involves a desk. (And he's not a furniture maker.) When his job position changes, he always gives me his new phone number.

I always ask, "Is this at your desk?"

To which he answers, "No. I don't have a desk. I just sit there sometimes and do my work."

Whatever. All I need to know is if Hubs is going to answer when I call the number.

A few years ago he shared an office area with other people, not a cubicle, not an office. So, he said he technically did not have his own desk.

And I thought I was the word person in the family.

The other day he moved into his new office. In his office there is a desk. He doesn't share the office with anyone, so he doesn't share the desk with anyone. HELLO, HUBS. There's no way to avoid it now. YOU HAVE A DESK.

(Insert great segue here.)

It turned cold today. We needed milk. Dinner time was within a few hours. The leftovers were gone. All I had was ground beef , a block of cheese, and a few taco shells. We'll have tacos!

Really boring tacos.

Oh. I know! We'll have super nachos!

I could not bring myself to go out. It was windy. It was miserable. So, I had an idea.

Call Hubs at his desk.

"Hey, can you go to the store? If not, it's okay."

"No, I can."

I hear laughing at the other end.

"What's so funny?"

"I'm that guy (the guy WITH A DESK!) whose wife calls him at work and gives him a list to go to the store."

"I could make you that guy who doesn't have a wife to call him at work and gives him a list to go to the store.... giggle...or do you want me to be the wife who yells at the husband when he comes home from the store because he didn't get the right thing?" (more giggles)

"Dang... okay. What do you need?"

"Milk."

"And bread?"

"No, but you can get bread if you want."

"No, I was just thinking that people always need milk and bread..."

"Okay. We actually do need bread. Get some."

"Got it. What else?"

"We're having super nachos. I need lettuce, tomato, black olives and um, the nachos. So far, all I have is meat and cheese."

More laughing at the other end.

"Now you have to read it back to me."

"Milk, bread, lettuce, tomato, black olives, and nachos."

"See you when you get home."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

Now I'm the wife who calls her husband at work with a list for the store.

And then blogs about it.

Dang.

Random Dozen 9

Thanks again, Linda!

1. Tell me something about your favorite teacher.

I have three favorite teachers for different reasons, but since Linda told me to pick ONE, I GUESS I'll follow the rules...sigh...


My favorite teacher was in second grade. Her name was Mrs. Hayes. I was a good student, finished my work on time and many times ahead of the other kids. (Nerd, right?)

Every. single. one. of my other teachers in elementary school would expect me to sit quietly when I was finished with my work. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Mrs. Hayes actually gave me extra work, fun work.

Her husband built a little hut in her room for all of the over achievers like me. She had carpet squares and books in the hut. I also remember that there were weird things in jars on a tiny shelf and I thought they were so cool.

I loved the hut. That was the only year I probably never had a "Needs Improvement" in Talking on my report card, because I was actually learning something and not bored.

Oh, and I still love weird things in jars.

2. Tell me about one pivotal moment in your life.

Besides the day I accepted Christ, I'd have to say the day I knew that I was going to be a mother. From that day on I've really tried to keep my priorities in order.

3. About favorite colors--a lot of people will ask you what it is, but I want to know why it is. What feeling or memory does it evoke?

Pink- Reminds me of all things girly and feminine, of Spring, roses, and bubble gum. It just makes me happy.

4. What's a sure sign that you're getting older?

You can remember a time when something we have now was not invented. Like the Internet.

5. Please don't sermonize, but Halloween--is it a yes or no for you?

I wish we could get away from it. I wish churches would choose to do fall festivals on a separate day. I wish. I wish.
I am against the evil of it, but I recognize the child-like whimsy and fun. I also realize that God made October 31, just as He made every other day of the year. I claim that day as His.

6. What's your favorite musical?

I don't really enjoy musicals so asking me is like asking me, "Which is your favorite flu shot?"

7. Are you more of a city mouse or country mouse?

I used to think I was a country mouse, but I was so wrong.
I am a city mouse. I think I am more of a commuter mouse who would like a house with a big yard, but with a sports car (I wish) to cruise to town for a nice dinner and over-priced coffee.

8. Did you know that it is possible, for a small fee, to name a real star after someone? (It's true! Google it!) If someone were to name a star for you, would you appreciate it for its whimsy and romance, or would you say, "Are you kidding me? For $19.95 we could have gone to the movie and actually bought popcorn."

I would say, "Are you kidding me?" If the person wanted to do something along those lines, they could plant a tree in my name or adopt an endangered animal. Or we could just cruise to town for an over-priced coffee.

This question comes from Paula at His Ways Are Not Our Ways.
9. What's the craziest thing you've ever been doing and texted during it? I only thought of this b/c I was about to try to text during my walking video but I didn't. Paula, you do know that this blog is rated G, right?

I have never texted. Never. I love computers, but I hate cell phones except for emergency situations.

10. "It's not a party unless _______."

there is food

11. When you're stuck in traffic or a waiting room, what do you do to pass the time? PS: There are no magazines available.

Traffic- Listen to talk radio

Waiting room- Make a grocery list or jot down blog ideas. I also have a few notes with dialogue for the book I will write one day.

12. If you weren't yourself, would you be friends with you?

That's tough. I want to say "yes, of course, because I'm wonderful." But I actually know me. I like weird things in jars. I'm a commuter mouse. I don't text.
I'm starting to see how Maggie (the cat) and I found each other.

I am quite certain this is not what Ben Franklin had in mind.

I just thought y'all would like to know that the postal service did actually post information on my package.

According to the website, my package is/was being sorted.

That's a relief.

I have to also add that the wonderful (cough, cough) tracking system is cleverly named "Click and Ship," which I keep wanting to call "Chicken Strip."

What would Freud say about that one?

In addition to the Internet Post Office Excitement, I had to go to the post office MYSELF, IN PERSON yesterday to ship something.

And I'm all out of nerve pills.

I heard a person behind me yell to the worker at the counter, "WILL YOU HURRY UP?!"

We all turned around in disbelief. I wasn't sure if I should dive under something.

Then the counter worker person looked up and laughed. Apparently he was friends with the customer and the customer was just kidding.

Oh, those postal workers are such characters. One of these days they'll start rolling people's mailboxes and wearing lampshades on their heads.

As you can see, the excitement at my house is overwhelming.

Check back tomorrow for my informative demonstration on how to apply self-adhesive stamps.

Adventures in Mailing

I have really adjusted a lot since moving to SmallTown.

No water within, I don't know, maybe two time zones. (Kidding. Sort of.)

No Starbucks. No Target.

And I have to mail packages via the US Postal Service.

Gasp

For some reason, the Postal Service is able to get packages to my family and friends in the South much quicker than UPS, and vice versa.

I know. It's remarkable.

If I am not under a time crunch, I use UPS. If the package contents are valuable, I always use UPS. (Did I just imply that I am sometimes cheap?)

However, I am usually late getting things in the mail, especially for holidays, so I end up going to the Post Office. (Right after I pop a nerve pill.)

My family sends packages via the Postal Service as well. In fact, my sister-in-law mailed a package the other day and the post office automatically sent me an email.

At first I was impressed. Maybe Newman has turned over a new leaf, or bag of chips, or whatever.

I highlighted the tracking number, went to the website and tracked my package. The following message popped up:

The U.S. Postal Service was electronically notified by the shipper on October 23, 2009 to expect your package for mailing. This does not indicate receipt by the USPS or the actual mailing date. Delivery status information will be provided if / when available. Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day. Please check again later.

Literal Translation:

On October 23, someone told the post office that they may mail your package. This does not necessarily mean that the post office received the package or that the person who knows you actually mailed anything to you. Information will be provided if or when we have any information at all. (Which is stretching a bit because we aren't even sure we have a package for you.) If we ever know anything, we may post it here some time during the day between our breaks. Check back later.

When I do receive something, assuming that I should expect anything, I plan to send the following message to the post office.

Dear Post Office Person,

This is to inform you that I received the package that you are not sure you shipped or delivered. It got here on time, even though you don't know when it left or where it went.

Please do not work for the new Universal Health Care System.

Thankyouverymuch,
Melanie

Friday's Fave Five #59: Hosted by Susanne

Susanne hosts the Faves each week. Here are my faves.

1. The Geico pothole commercial- Even Hubs likes it and he usually hates commercials, especially Geico. We grew tired of the gecko and cavemen a long time ago. This new commercial with the talking pothole sporting the Southern accent is hilarious.

Oh know. Your tire's all flat and junk.

The only thing it's missing is a "Bless Your Heart."

2. Bloggers with memes- They keep me inspired.

3. Fall scented candles- I just purchased a Wood Wick candle and love it. It sounds like the fireplace crackling.

We have an electric fireplace which looks lovely, but provides no warmth, smell, or sounds of a fire. It is cold enough to have at least gas fireplace, so go figure.

4. Online shopping- Here in SmallTown, Christmas shopping is a challenge. (Yes, I am already Christmas shopping in October.) The Net is your friend. I don't know how Ma Ingalls ever got her shopping done without a laptop.

5. Fun surprise packages on the doorstep- We received some homemade muffins and goodies from one friend and a bag of treats and candy from another. YUM. Now I plan to pass the love along.

See Susanne for more faves and please leave her some words of encouragement. She has been sick this week.

Sending some virtual chicken soup your way, Susanne!

CPQ

I'm up this morning, sipping Diet Coke and catching up on news and blogs.

That's when I read Carpool Queen's post here.

I tell you that woman can write.

If she doesn't stop with the Chick-Fil-A stories I don't know what I'll do.

Seriously, her post today is a reminder of Love.

Random Dozen 8

I look forward to these each week. Thanks, Linda!

1. Candy corn: Your thoughts?

I love candy corn. I don't care for the little candy pumpkins. I have no idea why.

I was watching O'Reilly last night and saw an email from a viewer which said that if you eat candy corn and peanuts together it tastes just like a Snickers bar. Bill said he would just buy a Snickers bar, but I had to try it out. We just happen to have candy corn and peanuts, so I went to the pantry.

Guess what. The viewer was right. And if you really want to make it taste like a Snickers, add a few semi-sweet chocolate chips. Pop a handful of the mix in your mouth, close your eyes, and pretend.

Leave a comment if you ran to your pantry to try it.

You can thank me later.

2. Briefly, what was the first conversation you ever had with your spouse? (or best friend, if you're not married.) (Or someone significant, like your librarian.)

Hubs and I were in a class together in college. He had caught my eye for some time, but I was too shy to talk to him.

I was on the drill team/dance line in our college marching band. I saw Hubs in the stands as we were also seated in the stands before and after halftime. Week after week, Saturday after Saturday, I saw Hubs in the stands. Week after week in class I said nothing.

Finally, the week after our Halloween halftime show, I decided I'd use the football game connection to strike up a conversation after class. I got up the nerve and the conversation went something like this.

Me- I saw you at the football game last Saturday. I'm in the band, on the dance line.

Hubs- Oh, yeah? I think I remember you. You were in purple, right?

Me- No, I was in red and white.

Hubs- Oh, I don't remember you.

Me- sound of heart breaking

It still landed me an invitation to his Halloween party and the rest is history.

3. Could you ever become a vegetarian?

No. I have too much Southern running through my veins. We even put meat on our salad. Who do you think invented bacon bits?

4. Have you ever dressed up your pet in a costume?

Miss Congeniality does not do costumes.

5. Name something about childhood that you miss (like Clark Bars, Teaberry Gum, Malibu Barbie, cracking fake eggs on people's heads with your fist and "It's the Great Pumpkin" airing only once a year).

Footy pajamas, being goofy and no one cares, the Nestea Plunge commercials, Marco Polo at the community pool

Community pools that aren't scary.

6. Have you ever won a trophy? If not, what do you deserve a trophy for?

I won a trophy in the school talent show after performing a very amateur ballet routine in the second grade.

The year before I told Mama that I wanted to be in the talent show, but she encouraged me to wait another year. She thought I "wasn't really ready." The truth is that she was sparing me from embarrassment.

Maybe it was because of my talent idea. I wanted to snap my fingers to Yankee Doodle.

That's a good mama.

Other than that, I have won ribbons for nerdy things like science projects and homemade scarecrows.

Our drill team won trophies in high school but the trophy went into a case next to the cafeteria for the principal to show off to his principal friends.

I never understood why the school trophies were near the cafeteria. To inspire the lunch lady to improve her sloppy joes, I guess.

7. When do you think is the appropriate time to begin playing Christmas music each year?

After the turkey is out of the oven. Not a moment sooner.

8. What's your favorite board game?

Right now we are loving Sorry. I mostly love it because we ring a bell and say Sorrrryy like Ed and Eunice.

9. How do you feel about surprises (receiving, not giving)?

I like surprise gifts, but not events. I love trying to surprise other people.

Although, surprising Hubs is impossible. If I ever want to give him a surprise party, I'd have to hire a SWAT team to help me.

10. Is it easy for you to say, "I'm sorry?"

I am truly sorry but I have a hard time expressing it. I am also overwhelmed with guilt when I have wronged a person.

Maybe I should start ringing a bell.

11. What is your favorite candle scent?

Anything that involves apples and spices. I also like vanilla combos.

We're talking about candles, right?

12. October is traditionally "open house" time in public schools. If you had a literal open house in your home (like a reception) what light snacks would you serve visitors and what would you show them (as in art projects, graded papers) that would uniquely represent you?

Since it's in October, I would serve cider and coffee.

The rest of the menu-

spinach artichoke dip

my new Snickers bar snack mix

meatballs or lil' smokies for my daughter

cheeses, fruits

What I would show-

Now that I've written this post, I'd have to dig out my old, plastic talent show trophy and a photo of me on the college dance line in the red and white outfit (not purple.) Don't you love how Linda always ties these together?

For added entertainment, the first ten guests who arrive also get to enjoy my snapping performance of Yankee Doodle.

It goes nicely with the Faux Snickers Snack Mix.

Funny, they never ride the bus.

I'm starting to think I should rename this blog "The Blog Which Posts Once A Week" or "That Blog Of Lists."

Or maybe the folks in Washington could refer to it as "Not Really A Blog, But A Perspective."

We've had some schedule changes over the last few months and a lot of my time is filled up with other stuff. Good stuff. I can't seem to get into a good blogging routine or figure out how to manage it all.

One thing I discovered is that it would help if I'd actually sit down and write something.

Go figure.

Our days are busy. Most evenings Hubs and I turn on Fox News, catch up on all the happenings, and then pop in a Seinfeld DVD. After about two episodes, Hubs falls asleep on the couch and I watch the rest of the DVD while reading blogs and surfing the Net. (*They made a movie about it with that girl from The Bus.)

Sometimes we'll mix it up and watch a recorded episode of The Amazing Race. It comes on at an odd time here, so we usually watch it later on Sunday nights. This past Sunday night, I planned ahead and set the DVR. I was all ready to watch someone eat strange food and yell at a taxi driver when horror struck me.

I had recorded 60 Minutes instead. Hubs and I are dull, but we're not that dull. (Yet.)

The TV schedule was askew because of a FOOTBALL GAME. A FOOTBALL GAME. I missed the Amazing Race because of FOOTBALL.

I felt like my sister-in-law who, in her childhood missed Happy Days because of a lame Presidential Address by Jimmy Carter. She called the television station and complained, "If you think you're gonna make me watch Mr. Peanuts instead of Happy Days, you're crazy."

Oddly enough, she later began a career in television.

Lucky for Hubs and me, the latest episode of The Amazing Race is available on their website. So we curled up together with the laptop last night and caught up.

The Dubai visit was pretty interesting. I would have totally freaked from the tallest building. We decided we would have made the snowman instead of searching for the Happy Meal toy.

What about you?

Is anyone else out there watching the show this season? Who are your favorites?



(* reference to a genius line by Frank Costanza who would never watch Mr. Peanuts.)

I really should have majored in philosophy.

Linda's Dozens have inspired me to think.

And it's giving me a headache.

Not that I'm thinking of anything earth-shattering or inspiring. No, that would be normal.

Here are a few things that have come to my warped mind.

1. At what point does a person decide he wants to become a mime? Is it the first time you sneak into your mom's make-up when you are five or does it come to you in the middle of a high school career day?

2. Do you think the guy who came up with "In God We Trust" on money realizes that he actually coined a phrase?

3. Why do we need steak buffets? How many steaks can one person eat?

4. Where does a dentist go when he has a cavity? Does he feel like a hypocrite?

When they ask him if he flossed, does he lie like the rest of us?

5. Are all of the months used up? We have a month for everything. If there is one left, I'd like to nominate "National Unsupportive Month."

No one wears a ribbon and you don't have to do anything.

6. What does the mailman do if I put the stamp in the lower left corner of the envelope?

7. Why is it only okay to take a nap when you are either really young or really old. Isn't now the time when I actually need the nap?

That is all for today.

My brain is tired.

Random Dozen: Seven

Thanks again, Linda for the random dozen. Good stuff.


I am especially lovin' this list. The title alone reminded me of a Seinfeld episode.

*Anyone remember George Costanza's favorite name?



1. I've always wondered why we were taught both printing and cursive. Do you prefer to print or write cursive? (Keyboard is not a choice.)

Cursive. It is smoother and faster.

2. Are you a dreamer or a realist?

I am a painful realist. This is why I'd rather watch a "love story" with a tragic ending rather than a "romance" with a sappy one. I like to cry. Weird. Staying steeped in reality helps you to truly appreciate the good that comes in life.

Okay, 'nough deep stuff. Let's move on...

3. Billy Joel or Elton John?

Elton John

He is one of the fewest artists I would pay to see.

Billy looks like he's trying too hard.

Some Fav Elton tunes-
Rocket Man
The One (See link below)
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
I'm Still Standin'

Not-so-Fav-
Candle In The Wind
(overplayed after Princess Di)

4. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? Not limited to horror flicks but also includes ones where the tension or suspense is killer, for example, Flightplan (2005): A bereaved woman and her daughter are flying home from Berlin to America. At 30,000 feet the child vanishes and nobody admits she was ever on that plan.

I think the scariest movie has suspense and not yucky stuff. It takes a lot more creativity to write suspense. Any middle school kid can write a script with blood and guts.

So, what movie...

Parts of Sleeping With The Enemy made me jump. It wasn't really scary, but I couldn't tell when the jerk was going to show up and organize the pantry.


Rear Window- Even though I know how it ends, I still love to squeal a little. Classic. You have to watch it in the dark.

5. Now what is the scariest real-life moment you've had?

A semi truck side-swiped my little Toyota Paseo on the driver's side. (I was the driver.) It scared me to death, but I managed to safely pull over to the side of the road before I totally freaked out.

Hubs and I were okay. No injuries. They never found the driver. Grrrrrr...

After that, I had panic attacks on the highway if a semi pulled alongside us. Now I'm over it.

6. What word do you misspell without fail?

I mistype/transpose "ie" words a lot.

I ALWAYS have to look up broccoli. (Just did.)

7. Name something you like to do but are not really talented or good at.

Oddly, if I am not good at something I lose interest quickly. So this was a tough one for me.

I wish I was a lot better at photography.

8. Do you get your emotional/mental batteries recharged by being around people or by having alone time?

Being around other people. It depends on the people, though. Some people make me wish I'd just stayed home. Nice, huh?

I'm a realist.

9. Have you ever been on TV?

Why? What did you see?!

Kidding.

No.

10. Apple or pumpkin pie? (Don't be greedy.)

Do I have ice cream? Apple.

But I'd rather have pecan.

11. How many magazine subscriptions do you have?

One- Paula Deen

12. What lesson do you have to keep re-learning?

Time management. Thus, the reason I have not been blogging as much lately.


*Seven. Mickey Mantle's number. I liked Soda better. If you're lost, then you must not have watched as much Seinfeld as I have. You are probably also a great time manager.

** Edited to add-
This video is for Hubs.
The Elton John question made me a little sappy.
Thanks for being All I Ever Needed.
No shadows block the sun.

The suspense must be killing you.

I came home from the store and found that Hubs had uncovered the peppers. Wal-mart bags were removed (who says I don't recycle!?) and the blankets were gone.

The peppers' fate had been confirmed.

They lived.

Never say miracles do not happen.

You're probably thinking,"It ain't the parting of the Red Sea," but you've never witnessed my gardening skills.

And all the people said, "Amen."

Not-So-Hot Peppers

It has been freezing here. Not in the proverbial sense but in the "Look, there's ice on Hubs' garden" sense.

Hubs grows peppers and tomatoes every year. He is a real green thumb.

Let me tell y'all something about me. I'm a brown thumb.

As Ouiser said in Steel Magnolias, it is a Southern woman's duty to have a garden. I am an embarrassment to Ouisers everywhere.

Hubs knows this. This is why he asks our daughter to water his plants whenever he has to go out of town. He gave up on me when I killed his cactus plant.

The only hope my bedding plants have is the sprinkler system, which is on a timer.

Let me tell y'all something else. Whenever Hubs has a garden of any kind and the plants are nearly at their peek performance, he has to go on a business trip. And whenever he goes on a business trip something freaky happens with nature and I have to suddenly problem solve about why there are holes in the tomato plant leaves or how on earth I'm going to keep the birds away.

Sigh.

Hubs was on a very short business trip last week and, as my unluck would have it, we had a freeze warning. An unseasonable freeze warning.

Hello, Al Gore, Mr. Nobel Peace Prize winner!

So, after I made a nice bed for Milky The Stray Cat, I grabbed all of my Wal-mart bags and began to cover up Hubs' pepper plants. Some of the plants were too big, so I did the next best thing. I covered them up with blankets. Right now there are jalapeno peppers lovingly draped in a hot pink woven blanket in my backyard.

It really adds to the wicker furniture on the porch.

Hubs came home from his trip and we greeted him at the airport with a hooded sweatshirt. He was surprised to hear that it was cold. On our way home, I told him all about my Wal-mart Bag/Woven Blanket Solution.

As of now, nearly 12 hours later, he still hasn't checked on his plants. I think he's scared to look.

Or maybe he has decided the hot pink blanket makes a nice addition to his garden.

To Belong

It was dark in the kitchen. I stepped onto the cold tile floor.

Someone is looking at me.

I stopped there on the tile with the crack, turning slowly toward the door. His little eyes were looking in. All I could see was his head peering above the edge of the back door's window.

I bet he's cold.

He found us just after we arrived in SmallTown over a year ago. They always find me- cats. For the longest time I didn't know who he belonged to. Then one day at the mailbox two neighbors walked by with a sandwich bag full of food, calling his name, "kitty, kitty, kitty."

I learned who he belongs to (no one) and what his real name is (there isn't one.) These neighbors shared that they, along with other caring ladies, work together to care for this neighborhood stray. There are a lot of them in SmallTown.

Daughter named him. Everyone deserves a name. He is white with a few spots of brown and black, and could pass for the brother or at least the cousin of our last visitor. She named him "Milky" and it stuck.

He stuck, too. He shows up on our steps to say "hello" or "meow" as it were. Sometimes he lets you pet him for a short time. Sometimes he just runs away.

He always appears well fed. One early morning I saw the neighbor's garage door go up and watched as Milky darted out, ready for his daily adventure.

So when I caught this Tom peeping into my window, I knew he needed something. He mewed and mewed. I stood there and looked back at him from my warm kitchen. Then I committed the cardinal sin of stray cat caring. I fed him.

He lapped it up there on the porch.

Where will he sleep tonight?

I grabbed an old towel and warmed it in the dryer, then placed it on the wicker furniture. He sniffed, then scurried into the night.

At least he knows he is welcome here. I hope he'll be okay.

The next day I saw him in the field behind our houses. I called to him and he darted into the tall grasses.

Last night we waited for him to come back. I put food out again and found an old box for him to sleep in. It isn't the foot of my warm bed, but it can protect him from the wind. We said a prayer for him and for others like him.

He never showed. I can only hope that he found his way to a neighbor's garage or onto another cat lady's porch.

We'll watch for him on cold nights and rainy days. I'll offer food when he peeps into my backdoor. Other neighbors will raise their garage doors and let him in for the night. Some will put out fresh bowls of water.

His name is Milky.

He belongs to us all.

Linda's Random #5

1. On an average, how often do you splurge and buy something for yourself?

I buy things for myself, i.e. a tube of lipstick or shoes at Target every now and then. A real splurge? More like once a year or less.

Getting my highlights could be considered a splurge but I consider it my contribution to society.

2. Are you more like Hall or Oates? Just kidding. Real question: What is the last creative project you began/finished? Feel free to post a pic of it.

Finished? Seriously?

I don't know. Maybe my mom saved some of those elementary school projects.

I am working on a something right now. It should be finished in a few days.

My last finished project was my niece's Christmas stocking last year. (I love felt piece projects.)

3. OK, Goldie Locks, do you consider your house too big, too little or juuuust right?

It is smaller than our last house, so I have to say too little. It is fine and no one has to sleep and eat in the same room, so I count my blessings. Ma Ingalls would love this place.

What I really miss is my bigger kitchen.

4. What is your favorite outdoor chore?

I like cleaning the porch. I get this from my grandmother. Although, I think what she really liked was having a clean porch.

Living in the South, you have to scrub the porch every Spring to remove the pine pollen. Here I have to scrub it to remove the dust. I like to literally scrub it with a push broom, the water hose and Ivory dish detergent. I take off my shoes and play in the bubbles. Daughter is starting to love this, too.

5. If you knew that cigarette smoking was not bad for your health but would be a weight loss tool, would you use it? Why or why not?

This one is tough because I can't imagine it being benign. But I've struggled to lose weight and if you told me that something could take the weight off and not harm me, I'd be tempted to try it.

Scary thought.

6. On a road trip, would you rather drive or ride?

Definitely drive. It makes the time go by faster. I'd rather drive on country roads than the Interstate because "there's nothing to see on the Interstate but Interstate."

(Points to the one who knows that movie line.)

7. What do you consider a trivial pursuit?

I'm not sure where Linda is going with this one, but I took this sentence literally. So, I am answering it accordingly.

Back to the question- What do you consider a trivial pursuit?

Keeping up with the Jones. Trying to keep up with other women in the blog world or the real world is a wasted use of energy. You will end up disappointed in yourself and the people you are trying to keep up with.

And you will wear yourself slap out.

8. From Linda: This weekend, we downloaded the movie "Duplicity" with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Within 5 minutes, I was bored and annoyed, but I kept watching 5-10 minutes at a time hoping it would get better between small chores. I finally gave up and Jorge watched it alone, and then regretted wasting that time because he disliked it intensely, too. So ... how long do you watch a movie or read a book before giving up on it?

I have a few things that are instant deal breakers for me-

Certain profanity (I guess any profanity should be a deal breaker.)
Violence against women or kids
Mocking Christianity
Other than that, it all depends on how lame the movie is and what mood I'm in.

9. Is there a song that you really love but are embarrassed to admit because it's not cool or it's racy or because it's by Hall and Oates?

I am so uncool that I wouldn't know it was uncool.

I can't think of any particular song now, but I love commercial jingles. I especially love the songs they use for car commercials.

Yes, I like car commercials. Not the luxury ones. The ones with speed where you can't see the driver and the wheels are all shiny and there is never anyone else on the road. (Vrrroom Vrroom)

Did I ever mention that I want a Corvette?

10. On a scale of 1-10 (10 = extremely) how spontaneous are you?

I'm barely a 1. VERY EXCITING. I also spin into anxiety if you try to surprise me with an event or activity at the last minute. Poor Hubs. He would love to plan things and just tell me to get in the car and go. Sorry.

11. Are you a food and/or beverage snob?

I am not a food snob (except for a pb and J.)

I am a beverage snob. I like good coffee and Diet Coke. I am also very in tune to whether the sweet tea at a restaurant is fresh or too weak. My mother always called weak tea creek water. If the tea isn't good, I usually just ask for some good ole' Diet Coke.

12. Who/What are you trying to control in your life?

Me. What can I say? God ain't finished with me yet.

Sigh.

I'd love to control where Starbucks builds their coffee houses and when Target puts their seasonal items 90% off. For now, all I can do is control when the cat is let out. I guess I'll take what I can get.

See The Lid for more posts!

Cloudy With No Chance of Thai Food

This weekend we decided to go on a little adventure and try the local drive-in theatre.

For us, "local" could mean down the street or in the next time zone.

Our daughter has never been to the drive-in. Hubs and I haven't been to one in years. I think the last time we saw one we had to clamp one of those speaker things on our car like the Flintstones.

Now you just tune into a radio station and listen from your car. Technology is so fancy!

Before the movie, we decided to have an early dinner at our favorite Thai restaurant. I say it's our favorite because it's the only decent one we know of within a 200 mile radius. Really, we've only eaten there once because a) it's out of town, and b) it's never open.

We drove into the parking lot only to be disappointed yet again. The restaurant has changed its hours and now they are only open for a short window of time when the moon is aligned with Saturn and the wind blows from the north.

Next time I'm going to call ahead and say, "We are headed over to eat at your fine establishment. I'd just like to know if are open and/or plan to change your hours within the next 10 minutes. If you indeed plan to be open, will you please go ahead and make me a plate of Thai Basil Fried Rice? Thankyouverymuch or, as they say over at the sushi bar, Doma arigato."

I broke out the GPS and started searching for a new place to eat for dinner. We settled on Olive Garden. Carraba's is my favorite chain Italian restaurant but the closest one is over 6 hours away which would have made us incredibly late for the movie.

As it turned out, Olive Garden was a sweet choice. Have y'all tasted the fried doughnuts with chocolate dipping sauce? I am sure an Italian somewhere is shuddering at my choice of words because they must have a special name but it escapes me right now. Besides, DOUGHNUTS WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE really do not need a special name.

They come in a bowl, all warm and gooey. I know they are warm because they rested on my lap all the way from the restaurant to the drive-in. So, if eating them didn't make them go straight to my thighs, they made their way via conduction.

We found a good parking place at the drive-in and climbed into the hatchback area.

Let me give you a word of advice. If you are inside your car and lock the doors without putting the key in the ignition, and then you decide to start your car later, the car alarm will go off.

And your car may seem intelligent when it talks to to you and tells you where to go when you're lost, but it does not know that you are in a drive-in theatre with people staring at you when the car alarm goes off.

Not that I would know anything about that personally. I read it in the manual or something.

After arranging our blankets and pillows, we played Farkle until the movie started. When the movie began, Hubs opened the hatchback. The interior lights would not go off, so Hubs fiddled and jiggled gadgets and buttons until we were all settled in.

The fancy technology is just too much for the Flintstones.

And the Italian Doughnuts. MY WORD. They were good. And I always thought the French had dibs on pastries. Daughter and I nearly ate them all. I think Hubs may have had one or two.

Did I mention that they came in a bowl? A bowl of doughnuts, people. With chocolate dipping sauce.

I'll bet Betty and Wilma never had that at the movies.

(Oh, and the movie was pretty good, too.)

Random Dozen Meme with Lid

Linda rocks. I am loving her Random Dozen Memes each week. She is THE LID.

So, here are this week's questions.

1. Tell me the absolute best way to watch a movie.

For me, it depends. If it is a cool special effects movie, it has to be in a great theatre. If it is a love story, I like to watch it on DVD on a rainy day curled up on the couch. If it is a comedy, it doesn't matter, as long as I can watch it with Hubs. We have the same sense of humor and laugh at obscure lines and scenes. In other words, he's weird like me.

2. Do you ever think about your own funeral? If so, do you have specific ideas about how you would like it to be?

Yes. I have written instructions for Hubs about flowers, songs, what to do, not to do, etc. I've also told him that I'll haunt him if he doesn't send thank you notes for the flowers and food. Not that I believe in any of that. I just like to bug him while I'm still alive.

3. Are you more of a giver or a taker?

I enjoy being a giver. Really, I do. I love to buy gifts and wrap them nicely at Christmas. I especially love trying to make a birthday special for someone.


4. Vacations: planned activities and schedules, or play it by ear?

Planned. For. Sure. I don't like surprises. They stress me out.

However, even though I like a plan, I don't want to have to stick to it. If something comes along that is better or if there isn't enough time in the vacation schedule to do something, I like to be flexible. Doing something on the agenda just for the sake of checking it off the list makes me nuts. (One reason I don't like lists.)

So, in the schedule/agenda area, our family is not Griswald. At least not in THAT area.

5. What is one often overlooked item in your home that needs to be cleaned regularly?

Only one???

I never clean the oven. Ever. There. I said it.

I clean the door and the racks when something drips but then I have the "oh, it will just burn off" mindset about the bottom of the oven.

6. Name a cause that means a lot to you.


I have a few.

Compassion International

Angel Tree (Prison Fellowship)

Southern Baptist Disaster Relief

The Red Cross


I've seen the last two work together providing help after a hurricane. It was amazing. Hat tip to the disaster teams of the United Methodist Church as well.

7. Do you eat a regular old peanut butter jelly sandwich, or do you customize it? And by the way, jelly or no jelly?

The peanut butter must be Peter Pan and the jelly must be strawberry preserves which isn't really jelly, I suppose. I have to mix my peanut butter and jelly in a bowl first. I mix in a little extra, then put it on the bread (preferably Bunny bread!) I eat the little extra off the spoon, then remove the crust from the sandwich. I've eaten it this way since I was a kid. Just ask my mama.

I'm not at all picky.


8. If we were having a conversation in person, how would I know if you were nervous?


My neck turns red. But it also turns red when I've had caffeine or for no reason at all, so really I could bluff and you'd never know.


9. Do you have an elaborate bedtime routine, or just the basics of toothbrushing and jammies?


Not really. Besides the usual, I do wash my face with Noxema. I love the smell of Noxema.


10. Have you ever regretted something you wrote on your blog?


Yes. I've shared some political views mixed with sarcasm and they were taken out of context. This is what happens with the written word.


11. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a famous person or celebrity? Did you agree?


When I was in nursing school, we were doing our psych clinicals and one of the psych techs said I looked like someone on Matlock. He couldn't remember her name. It turned out to be Linda Purl. Every clinical after that he called me "Matlock" and all my nursing student friends thought it was a riot. They started calling me Matlock, too and the name stuck.

During a completely different clinical on a surgical floor, a patient told me the same thing. (That I looked like Linda Purl, not Matlock.) I think it was the hair and my choice of make-up at the time. I took it as a compliment.


That was years ago. Now I look more like Minnie Pearl.


12. If you were going to dedicate a song to a loved one or friend, what would the song be and to whom would it be dedicated?


I've always wanted to dedicate the song "You're So Vain" to someone because the irony and humor would be classic.


I bet you think this song is about you.
Don't you?
Don't you?

Pure. Gold.

How-DEE!

See The Lid for more great answers and wish her well as "Catcher."

Testing...testing.

It feels like a sweet forever since I have written a real post. Okay, I've never really written a real post, unless you count all the times I rant about Maggie or quote Seinfeld.

Which would be a lot.

We are almost back into a routine from our trip. Since returning, I have discovered a few things which perplex me. (I love new vocabulary words.)

Who comes in my house and makes it all dirty again while I am gone?

I know that I cleaned it before I left because leaving it messy would cause me a great deal of anxiety, with the fear of dying and all. (The fear is not in the death itself but in people walking in my house and finding it dirty and talking about me and then I'd be flipping in the grave. It's all perfectly rational.)

So.

We lock the doors and turn on all the outside lights to prevent intruders, but somehow they get in and make everything very dusty and, I suwannee, they even mess up the bathroom!

After we unpack I clean the whole house all over again.

Sigh.

Then there's that stuff growing in the refrigerator...

One thing I do love about coming home is looking through the mail. I immediately sort it into piles- bills, catalogs, junk, personal stuff. I like to make a cup of coffee and look through the stack of catalogs all at once. It's the only time I actually look forward to them.

Yep. There's nothing like the feeling of a good Pottery Barn catalog in one hand and a cup of Starbucks (freshly ground at home) in the other.

For kicks, we call up Customer Service and give them the product numbers from Williams-Sonoma.

KIDDING.

Have a good week. Don't go getting any ideas.

Okay, so now I really mean it.

Just when you're back, you're gone again.

Our computers- both of them- were very ill this week. The desktop is still coughing and wheezing, but the laptop is much better. Hubs had to save and reload everything which, apparently takes a lot of time.

I've been without the Internet for days and it was the first time I ever felt that Al Gore and I could be friends. (I'm over it.)

So, hopefully now I'm really back. Full of boring and strange details about my life.

And sarcasm, let's not forget the sarcasm.

This is the sound of me blowing dust off the laptop.

The family is back together. Maggie arrived home from the kennel in OtherTown yesterday.

Again, the kennel people said she was "sweet."

I really think I should have a talk with them and find out their secret. We could possibly put our heads together and launch a business selling whatever it is they offer that makes my cat sweet. At the very least, we could make a cool infomercial.

Last night was our first normal night at home. Daughter was off reading some classic piece of literature while Hubs and I were watching Seinfeld on DVD. We like to keep the family balanced. Too much literature and we could turn into the Cosby family except, you know, that we aren't lawyers or doctors.

So we were mixing in a little Roseanne when one of our favorite Seinfeld episodes came on (okay, they're all my favorite.)

It was the one with the guy with the glasses from Malaysia which, for those of you totally unfamiliar with the show, means nothing. For the other two of you, you are going, "YEAH, I KNOW THAT ONE!"

There is a line where Elaine mentions that they had a break-up over the Jujy fruits and that is what launched a major discussion.

"Wait a second," Hubs said, "that's not the same guy."

"Yeah, it is," I said.

"No, it's not. He was bald in the hospital."

"No, he wasn't. He just looks different because of the glasses. Find the episode and play it."

"Wanta bet?"

"Yeah, if I win you have to scoop the litter box for a week."

"Okay."

"What do you want if you win?" I asked.

"I don't know. You already do everything I need you to do," Hubs answered.

At this point I could have gotten all warm and fuzzy and thankful for a kind comment but that would distract me from the matter at hand which is that I was totally right about the Seinfeld episode.

So Hubs got up from the sofa, walked over to the entertainment center, and then it dawned on him.

"OHHHH! That IS the same guy. I was thinking of the one with the Junior Mint!"

"Oh, yeah. That's a likely story. You got your candy mixed up and not your boyfriends?"

"Yeah, the bet's off."

"But that's the bet."

"No, I changed my mind. I don't want to do the levels."

If you are still reading this lame post and you are lost, don't be alarmed. Most of society does not understand us. But if you totally got that last line, you know it was from -yet another- Seinfeld episode.

As you can tell, life has returned to the completely mundane, boring strangeness we call normal.

In other words...

I'm back.

A break while on a break

Who could imagine that a quick vacation could get busy?

Just checking in to say I'm on a break until I really don't know when.

I love being aloof.

See you...soon??

My daddy would say "see you in the funny papers" but I read most of the News online.

;>)

Then again, monogramming would be a lot easier.

We were out shopping for shoes today.

As my daughter tried on a pair of tennis shoes, she said with a giggle, "Daddy said you almost named me Reebok."

"Reebok, huh?" I said, shaking my head.

"Yep, Reebok."

"Honey, that's why the mama signs the birth certificate," I answered, as we put her brand new shoes in their box and made our way to the register.

It's a good thing she is slowly "getting" our family's sense of humor or she could be scarred for life.

Other parents are saving for college. I'm saving for therapy.

Reminders

We were only up a few minutes this morning when my daughter turned to me and said, "America was in great tragedy today."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and said,"You remember what day this is?"

She nodded.

"That's good. We need to remember... always remember."

She was just a baby when our nation was attacked on September 11, 2001. She has no real memory, only the memory of what her parents have told her and what a few teachers have shared.

I was browsing the paper of a local town this week. The paper featured an article on 9-11 memorial services. One service chose to focus on the attacks and remember the lives which were lost. Another service (offered at a church) chose to focus only on the first responders who helped after the attacks and honor their work.

Now we can shop for 9-11 memorial services?

I took a deep breath and kept reading.

The article continued with a further explanation from the "first responder only" service. Their reason for focusing on the first responders was to lessen the emphasis on the tragic events because people "do not want to be reminded of that year after year."

It was at that point that I started talking back (okay, screaming) at the paper. I wanted to take that person and shake some sense into them. I wanted to call that church and ask if they had been misrepresented in the paper. A service can do both- honor the hero and remember the fallen.

Where I come from, churches stand up in silence on Memorial Sunday and host potluck dinners for soldiers and heroes.

Of course, where I come from, the men put guns on the backs of their trucks.

Then I took another deep breath and quit screaming at the paper.

And decided to blog.

First, that person from the paper is right. I don't want to be reminded of "that" year after year. I don't want to be reminded that people died that day. I don't want to be reminded that someone out there hated me and my family enough to crash planes into buildings. I don't want to be reminded that a group of heroes stopped a plane from possibly crashing into The White House by sacrificing their own lives and those around them.

It doesn't really matter what I want. It happened.

Today I am reminded of all of them.

The ones who died in the attacks, all three thousand of them. And the families they left behind.

The firefighters and EMT workers and other first responders who died trying to save them.

And the thousands of soldiers who have died protecting us and keeping "that" from happening again.

It is for them that I want to be reminded. For them, I want to keep their stories and honor alive. For them, I keep telling my child and one day my grandchild of what happened on September 11, 2001.

For them.

The Lid's Random Dozen 9.9.09

1. What is something that you have changed your mind about either recently or over a number of years?

It is VERY difficult to change my mind. Ask Hubs.

Overall, I am more cynical about things. Not that it's a good thing. I can't really think of anything specifically.

2. Choose either subject, but does your a) church b) job feel more like a dental chair experience or an easy chair (recliner) experience?

a) Right now church is like a dental chair and I am still looking for a good dentist. It is really tough when you have had the best dentist on the planet with lots of great hygienists and cool toothbrushes.

Literal interpretation- We are still not sure about a church home in SmallTown. It's painful.



3. Kisses or hugs? I actually typed "huts," which might have been a more interesting question.


From Hubs- Kisses :>)


4. What do you think is the biggest threat to families today?

Tolerance and Political Correctness.
I know these are two things, but they go hand in hand. Both have crept into everyday life and into the church and are creating gray lines or no lines where there were strong lines before. Both have tainted the Truth in so many ways and many times we are not even aware.

5. A day after you grocery shop, you open a perishable item that is horribly spoiled. Do you take your receipt back to the store to be reimbursed or just throw it away and forget about it?

It depends on where I bought it and how much it cost. If it costs me more gas money to return it, I don't do so or I will call and let the store know about it. It also depends on what it is. If I think my actions may prevent someone else from getting sick, I will definitely return it to the store or call and speak to a manager.

6. What personality trait (feel free to address good or bad or both) do you notice yourself adopting from your parents?

Saving money, which is not really a personality trait, but a result of one.


Saving for a rainy day may not be fun when it's sunny but it sure feels good to be standing there with the umbrella when everyone else is soaking wet.


7. How many slices of bread do you leave in the bottom of the bag when you throw it away? Two? Three? Just the heel? None? (I really want to know if you eat the heel.)

The heel. I always leave the heel. YUCK.


8. What mispronunciation or usage error really irritates you?

Misuse of "The other person and I" as in "Lid came up with this delightful meme for you and I."

Should be "you and me." You don't always say "the other person and I" unless you are the subject.

Doing so makes it sound like you are trying to be proper and that makes me nuts, too. (Just be you- grammatically correct or incorrect.)

It also bugs me when my blog's spell check won't work in the middle of a grammar post.


9. In honor of the uniqueness of today's date, what does the numeral 9 mean to you? (Any special life moments attached to the 9th? Are you the 9th kid in your family? Can you count by 9s really fast? etc.)

All I can think of is "partying like it is 1999." Shows my age.

10. Does the general color palette in your closet match the colors you chose to decorate your home with?


Thank goodness, no or we'd look like we lived in the morgue. A lot of things in my closet are black. I like color but I tend to go "safe" and buy a lot of basic neutrals. There are splashes of blue, red and pink.

11. When you're hanging out with friends in the kitchen, do you automatically ask to help, or do you sit there and chat until the host asks if you'd like to help? I'm not implying that the 2nd choice stems from rudeness or laziness, just not a first-response like it is for some people.

I usually offer once and let it go. It also depends on how well I know the person. For some, I already know how and when they like help.

I am glad to help out, but I don't want to push myself on someone. Some people love a lot of hands in the kitchen.

I don't really like help in the kitchen so I respect it when someone declines my help. I work better in my own kitchen if the person hangs out with me and chats. I get distracted with too many helpers.

12. Let's end on a pleasant note: What do you enjoy about September the most?

It usually means cooler weather is in the air but everything isn't dull and dead yet (like my wardrobe.)

See The Lid for more dozens. She is always doing great things for you and me. ;>)

What Goes Around

It was an afternoon flight.

Hubs made the reservations. He knows me; I'm not a morning person.

He also knew that I would have to drive several hours to OtherTown, drop off our delightful old lady in a fur coat at the kennel, then drive to the airport. A later flight would give me plenty of time to hit the snooze button several times, trudge around in my slippers, wake up to coffee, load the car, drive, unload Maggie, and reach the airport in time to have a lengthy conversation with the TSA agent at security.

I woke up early actually. Maggie plopped on me and prodded my hand with furry paws, careful to not steal my breath. A dead owner can't feed you. I rolled over, pffed the cat hair from my lips and waited for the alarm.

It went off exactly at the time I set it. Drat.

Several cups of coffee and a hot shower later, I finally kicked into high (okay, low) gear. Bags were ready. Garbage had been taken out. Daughter was ready and soothing Maggie in her carrier. But we were still running at least fifteen minutes late.

No problem. I can shave that off between speed traps.

We all loaded in the Honda, I turned the key, then looked at the gas gauge.

By my calculations, we would run out of gas before we reached OtherTown, right between speed traps. As we headed out of town, I pulled into the nearest gas station. Every pump was occupied. I eyed a car and pulled behind. (Trucks take longer to fill their tanks.)

There she was. A tiny, elderly driver in dark shades. Standing at the pump pushing buttons.

You've got to be kidding me.

I sat there for a few moments and watched as she swiped her card, swiped it again, pushed buttons (all the wrong ones) and nothing happened. I could feel the irritation and impatience flair up in my chest.

I'll never make it to the airport.

I looked around for an open gas pump. None.

Then I thought to myself, "I can sit her and stew or I can get out and help her."

So I put on the brakes and got out of my car.

"Do you need some help?"

"Yes, these things are different everywhere you go."

I walked her though the steps and questions- press payment key, swipe card, enter your zip code. The two of us managed to get the pump working. She began to fill her car's tank. Within minutes she could be on her way.

Another pump opened up, I hopped back in my Honda, drove around and got enough gas to get us to our destination.

I looked at the time with a sigh.

It will work out.

Many speed traps and a Diet Coke later we arrived at the kennel, said our good-byes to Maggie, and made it to the airport with plenty of time to make it to the gate.

Except there was no parking. Not in the same time zone, anyway.

I drove and drove searching and finally found a space on the roof of the parking garage. After driving several hours, I now had to drag several suitcases for what seemed a million miles to the terminal.

I'm tired, Lord.

I got out, exhausted, and turned to walk to the back of the car to unload our luggage.

"Would you like a ride to the terminal?" he said.

There stood the driver of the airport shuttle who had seen me drive onto the roof searching for a parking space and followed me.

"Oh, bless you, " I said.

He loaded our luggage into the van and we climbed in. I sat in the squeaky vinyl seat with my carry-on in my lap. As he pulled up to the terminal I looked back at the vast span of parking lot between us and my Honda, thankful that I didn't have to make the trek.

We hopped out of the van as the driver unloaded our luggage with a smile.

"I was so tired. You were my angel today. Thank you," I said (while handing him a tip.)

He smiled back and wished us a nice trip.

It will all work out.

We rolled our luggage into the terminal and checked in for our flight. As it turns out, we were on time, without dodging speed traps. Although, I didn't strike up a lengthy conversation with the TSA agent at security.

Maybe next time.

Going Down Rabbit Trails

Here's an update of sorts, in completely random order with no literary meaning or entertainment value whatsoever.

I strive for excellence.

SO, Hubs asked me last night, "Are you going to take Maggie to the new kennel?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I still have not checked it out and I have too many things to do before we leave, plus Maggie needs her geriatric check-up and I'm sure she is perfectly fine, but what if she's not and I won't know that unless she visits a kennel with a Vet on site, which is what the old one is in OtherTown, so I'll keep things as they are, let them check her and if she is fine and just old, she can stay at the new kennel with the black mailbox next time."

If I had known in elementary school that I could write a run-on sentence one day and put it on the internet, I would have squealed right there in my 1970's desk and then be sent to the office for interrupting my government indoctrination.

But then I would have had no idea what an internet was.

Youth is wasted on the young.

Back to Maggie.

She pops in places when she gets up from her naps. It doesn't seem to bother her but I often wonder if she could use a good dose of Ben-gay, what with all the rheumatism and all. Then again, the ointment would make a terrible mess in her fur.

In unrelated news, the rabbit is back.

I think it could be the same rabbit. How would you know?

Maggie noticed him right away and ran to her room to get her holster. She sat at the backdoor and glared while the rabbit texted his Libertarian friends across the field...

"Furry GOP Nemesis at the door again all puffed up... bet it isn't loaded."

"Big Brother Type in torn yoga pants inside house taking photos and entering information in her computer."

"The State of The Union is in worse shape than I thought. Bortz was right."

Have a good weekend.

Look out for clever cottontails.

wink.

Linda's Random Dozen

This is Linda's Random Dozen as opposed to The Dirty Dozen who really didn't eat doughnuts like the ones seen above.

Thanks, Lid!!

1. When you go to Wowmart, what one thing do you get every single time, besides a funky-wheeled squeaking cart full of frustration?

Diet Coke, if it is in stock. For some reason, it is hard to find 6-pack 16. oz bottles of Diet Coke in Smalltown. I get it when I can. (Sadly, I've just revealed my addiction.)

2. What is something that people are currently "into" that you just don't get or appreciate?

Facebook and MySpace. Of course, my friends on Facebook don't get why I blog.

3. What is something that really hoists your sail that other people might feel "ho-hum" about?

Hmmm... I get really excited about elections. This makes me more of a nerd than anything.

4. Favorite song to sing in the shower or car?

Aretha Franklin tunes. The Queen and I go way back. I also play her classic tunes when I am in a terrible mood. Hubs knows this, so when he walks in from work and I'm playing This Is This House That Jack Built he knows that I WAS in a bad mood and that I am currently in a good one. Lucky for him, he also doesn't ask any questions.

5. A really great salad must have this ingredient:

Good dressing. The rest doesn't really matter.

6. Advice in a nutshell to new bloggers (one or two sentences):

Decide ahead of time how much you want "out there." Stick to those guidelines.

Don't get too hung up on how many comments you receive.

7. What was the alternate name that your parents almost named you? Do you wish they had chosen it instead of the one they gave you?

Amanda.

Nope.

8. What in your life are you waiting for?

To figure out where I "fit" in the writing world.

9. You get a package in the mail. What is it, and who is it from?

A surprise misc. package from my friend T. We used to call each other our "doorstep friend." Now we live across the country from each other. This reminds me, I have a package I need to mail to her.

10. Today--what song represents you?

Legacy by Nicole Nordeman. NOT that I am one, but that I strive to be something and leave something for this world, especially my family.

11. What is one thing that blogging has taught you about yourself?

I am more private than I thought.

I.E. No Facebook

12. How are you going to (or how did you) choose the clothes you're wearing today? What do they say about you in general or specifically how you're feeling today?

I'll end up getting dressed several times. Once for around the house duties and again to take my daughter to horseback riding. I'll change again when I return from hb riding because I often come home smelling like a barn.

So, that's actually three outfits in one day. You'd think I was in high school.

I guess it says I'm too lazy to think ahead for what to wear for an errand later and that I don't like to smell like livestock.

See The Lid for more fun bloggers!

You can't get there from here.

Our family is planning a little trip.

Forgive me if I spare you the details like dates and times and such. Who knows who could be reading this blog and may use the information to rob us. And, while Hubs would love to see my Longaberger baskets go away quietly in the night, I just can't part with all of his rusty tools in the garage.

Of course, with any trip plan comes the arduous task of getting a kennel for Maggie. The last kennel she stayed at must have done something right. The lady said she was "sweet." Either they have some kind of kitty kat kennel powers or the kennel tech is as crazy as Maggie. The down side is that this particular kennel is in another town.

Yes, I have to take Maggie out of town in order to leave her so that I can go out of town.

The kennels here in Smalltown walk a fine line from the pound, so many of us have had to make other arrangements. Until...

A nice couple just opened a new kennel that is getting rave reviews.

When it first opened, it was so brand-spankin'-new and didn't even have a sign out front. It was out in the country, so it was very difficult to find. The kennel is behind the owners' home, so the location is very non-descriptive.

When asked its location, one happy customer said,"Just call ahead and ask the owner to stand in the yard and wave."

I know that's how I find Target.

The kennel has been open a few months and they still do not have a sign. So between word of mouth and waving, new customers are able to find it.

Well, Nancy recently took her cat to the fab kennel and her cat returned happy. This is a sign of a caring, kind facility. Y'all don't know her cat. She is very temperamental.

Yesterday I called and asked Nancy for directions.

Not that I wouldn't love to call ahead and ask the owner to stand in the yard and wave.

Nancy began to give me general directions, but out in the country, you really need specific directions or, you know, a SIGN. Without trees or stores or running water (kidding) there really are very few landmarks unless you count the cars up on blocks or the many chili pepper roasting stands.

So Nancy said she would just send me a picture. I'm not sure what impressed me more, the fact that she had the picture or that she had the forethought to take it in order to give directions to her friends.

I opened my inbox and found a photo of a classic ranch style home, set off from the road and another picture of a black mail box. I was all excited because, hello, it's like a little clue!

I would share the photos with you here but I never know who may be reading this blog and I know the kennel owners like their stuff. And the cats and dogs out back.

Plus, if you look too closely at the photo, you may be able to see the owner. She's the one in the yard waving.



;>)